Threnody
by Omgitsbella
Summary: A burst of light in this twisting darkness. The light is brighter than anything I've seen. It keeps getting brighter until it flashes white. In the moment that it goes white I see a crow soaring, its black wings fully spread out.
1. Chapter 1

There was something that I was starting to realize about Damon Salvatore. He has a soul. He was a lot less of the Damon I once knew, that Damon that I first met. There was a change to him that was noticeable. I think that I'm the only once noticing it though. The witty comments have completely stopped and I know he hasn't fed off of a human in a while. Which is a big step for him. The more I think about Damon Salvatore the more I am realizing about him. I genuinely don't believe that he was the cold blooded killer that Stefan made him out to be. Yes he was killing people but I think its because there is a lot more to him, he just hid it so well for everyone else but I can see it now so clearly. Damon was so hurt over Katherine and with what Stefan had did that he had no other way to deal with his pain because this is the nature of what he is. Stefan was easily able to deal with the transition because he wasn't as hurt over losing Katherine as Damon was. Damon lost the love of his life and his brother at the same time.

Damon was just a foot away from me sitting across the hall as we both sat in quiet with Stefan locked on the other side of the steel door. So many thoughts were coursing through my head. I don't think that Stefan will ever be the same again. Damon is right, Stefan has spent so long fighting this that he has no idea how to control. Where as Damon...Damon does have all of this under control, a lot more than I thought he did. I don't know if Stefan will ever be the Stefan that I knew, the man that was so level headed about everything. I thought he did have everything under control but I was wrong. I still had the paining feeling that this was all of my fault. I fed him my blood that night that Damon helped me get Stefan out of the house that Pearl and the other vampires were staying at.

Were my original thoughts of these two brothers completely wrong? Is this who they both really are?

Not only did Damon seem to have an ease to his control, there was something else about him. I looked over at him, into his icy blue eyes. Behind all of that, I swear that I can see kindness. If this would have been a month ago Damon would have let Stefan run lose killing everyone. He definitely wouldn't be sitting a foot away from me with Stefan locked up. The silence between the two of us right now was killing me with all of my thoughts running through my head.

"Damon?" I asked quietly. Damon straight into my eyes and I took in a sharp breath. "Why did you stay down here with me?" There was a moment of silence before he finally answered.

"I didn't want you to be alone."

I completely stopped breathing for a second. I was letting the words that Damon has just said sink in.

"If you didn't want me to be here, you could have just said something." With that Damon stood up.

"No! That's not it at all!" I quickly rushed the words out. Damon looked at me, raising one eyebrow questioningly. "I...I was just curious because lets be honest, if this would have been a month ago, you wouldn't be sitting here with me."

"I already told you why I was done here. I'll just go." The icy tone that I had known so well from Damon, that I hadn't heard in a while had just come back. He began walking down the hallway when I heard the words come out of my mouth in a whisper.

"Don't go."

They were quiet but I knew that Damon could hear me. I looked up at him and I think that he could see that there was a plead in my eyes. Damon didn't say anything but walked to the spot that he had just been sitting in and sat back down. Neither one of us said anything but there was a strange comfort that he was bringing to me right now. I don't know if its because of whets happening to Stefan or not.

I started remembering the night in the woods at the ruins of the church. The night that Damon thought that he was going to release Katherine from the church. I remember him running inside to see if she was in there, to go rescue her, the one person he truly cared about. After he realized the she wasn't in the tomb, that she never was. This whole time she has been out in the world, in capable reach of him but she never made him aware of her existence. I saw how broken Damon really was that night. I knew that he needed someone. I had wrapped my arms around him and hugged him with light tears streaming down my face. At the point I didn't even care that Stefan had been near by. It was the smallest thing that I could have done to try to show Damon that I had understood.

After that though he became worse and I was giving up on him.

This though, this was completely different. I know that I'm getting closer to the real Damon. I want to know him.

I yawned lightly and shook my head in a sad attempt to shake it off.

"Maybe you should head upstairs and get a little bit of sleep." Damon offered and I shook my head no.

"I really want to.."

Damon cut me off halfway though. "Don't be stubborn Elena, go upstairs and get some sleep. Stefan will still be here in the morning. I nodded my head, Damon was right and I somewhat didn't want to admit it. I slowly stood up and made my way up the stairs to the first level of the house. I walked up the stairs and stood outside of Stefan's room. That's when I realized that I don't want to stay in his room. I don't want to sleep in his bed. He hasn't been the Stefan that I once knew for a while now and staying in his room will just bring up memories of how he once was. I sighed in defeat.

"Damon." I called out and within a moment Damon was at the top of the stairs right next to me. I looked up into his blue eyes. "I don't want to sleep in Stefan's room." I said quietly and immediately he understood.

"Well I'm sure that you don't want to sleep downstairs, besides I'm not too sure how safe it would be down there anyways. Come with me." With that I followed Damon down a hallway, he opened up two big doors that led into a bedroom. There was a huge bed in the middle of the room. I kept looking around to see a table, on it was a bottle of liquor and a glass. I'm in Damon's room. Its the first time that I'm looking at it.

"Thank you." I said turning to look at Damon. He just nodded his head. This is a little awkward for the both of us. I don't know what else to say but I appreciate how he is acting. Damon walked out of the room leaving me in there by myself.

A big part of me wanted to start going through his room in an attempt to get to know more about him. There was this other part of me though that was telling me not to do that to Damon, to not betray him by going through his personal things.

I sided with the small nagging part in my head.

I got into Damon's bed, getting under the covers. I laid my head on the pillow. The bed completely smelled like Damon. The thing that I wasn't expecting was this immense comforting feeling I got as soon as I was laying down. I breathed in his scent and welcomed the comfort that washed over me. Even if it was from Damon.


	2. Chapter 2

**I woke up a few hours later. For the first time in a long time I didn't have any nightmares which was the weird thing because there Stefan was downstairs, becoming a monster. I got out of Damon's bed and walked downstairs quietly. I don't know why I was being quiet, Damon would hear me regardless. I found him in the study, his hand was on the glass of whiskey that he likes so much. I stood at the bottom of the stairs looking over at him. Damon set the bottle down and the glass that he was going to use he put upside down and next to the rest of the glasses. It surprised me, he actually wasn't going to drink. I walked over to the entrance.**

**"There's no point in me drinking if you're awake." Damon said and he turned around. Of course he knew that I was there the whole time. **

**"Why?" I asked moving further into the room. **

**"Well if I'm sitting around drinking, you'll be sitting around moping about . I'm really not sure that that's what you want to be doing right now. There's a part of what he says that's completely right. I'm concerned about Stefan. What can I do right now though with him locked down in the cellar, vervain running through his system? Nothing. I can't do one thing. I don't like sitting around having to wait this out. I think that I might take Damon's approach to life. Drink my sorrows away. **

**"Remember Atlanta?" I asked Damon. He gave me his infamous smirk. Atlanta was the only time that I had genuine fun with Damon. I got to see the real Damon and I'm admitting that I like it. I remember that day so clearly, when we were on our way back to Mystic Falls. I asked him why he didn't compel me. His answer is what shocked me, but a memory that I have kept vivid. **_**We were having fun and because I wanted it to be real.**_

**I don't know what was going through Damon's head that day. I know that Stefan tells me that Damon is nothing but bad news but there is a huge part of me that believes what he told me that day. **

**Damon already knew what I was hinting at. He poured a glass and handed it to me. Instead of slowly drinking it like I see Damon do so often. I part my lips lightly to the glass. I tip my head back letting the liquid hit the back of my throat. I swallow really fast. It becomes hot as it slides down my throat. I shake my head thinking that will automatically make it stop. Of course it doesn't, the burning is still there. I look over at Damon and he's starting at me a little shocked. He shrugs and does the same thing. Only he doesn't shake his head in disgust afterwards, he just pours both of us another glass.**

**"I always forget how much it burns going down afterwards." I say as I walk towards him.**

**"I definitely wasn't expecting all of this." Damon says as I take the glass out of his hand and do the same thing. This time I don't shake my head but close my eyes for a moment instead. **

**"I wasn't expecting Stefan to..." I couldn't finish my sentence. I can't bring myself to say what Stefan has become. He's so different from the person that I knew. I feel like I've been betrayed, I think that's what is hurting the most. I also feel like this is so much my fault from having him drink from me. **

**"Its not your fault. I know that's what you're thinking." I looked over at Damon. I must have been staring off. "If you hadn't of done that, you would both be dead. I wouldn't have made it out there in time. You did the right thing Elena." **

**Damon is right, in a way. I just can't stop myself from feeling guilty. **

**"I know." I say to him quietly. "Pour me another glass." I thrust the glass back towards him, a little more forcefully than I meant to. **

**Time starts to move faster and the pain begins to numb. To an extent I understand why Damon does this. I just don't think that I can do it everyday. I also keep glancing at the staircase down to the cellar. I know that its going to take more than just a day for him to get back to normal, if Stefan ever does. **

**"He's fine down there." I heard Damon say.**

**I looked over at him. I hadn't realized that I had been glancing at the staircase for a good minute now. **

**"Stefan locked me down there for days with vervain and no food and I survived." Damon shrugged it off and took another drink. I looked down at mine. Damon set his glass down. I felt his hand on my arm. I took in a sharp breath. He noticed, immediately lifting his hand off of me. I hope that he doesn't think anything bad about that, it just surprised me. "I promise, Stefan will come out of this." Damon looked into my eyes and I could tell that he meant it.**

**I don't know what it is about him but I feel like I can tell when he is being genuine with me, and this? This is one of those very rare moments. I can't help but smile at him just a little bit. **

**"Maybe I should take you home." Damon says to me. I wonder why he says this all of a sudden but I have been away from home for a while. I nod in agreement. **


	3. Chapter 3

Damon dropped me off in front of my house. I manage to stumble my way up the walkway to the front door. Luckily the front door is unlocked. I push it open. Jeremy is sitting on the couch playing with this Xbox. I don't bother saying anything to him, not in this condition. I hold onto the banister with both of my hands to keep my balance going up the stairs. I make it into my room, shutting my door behind me.

"Ughh." I groan and put my hands over my face.

"Well you shouldn't be pounding down whiskey like that." I heard Damon's all too familiar voice from behind me.

I jumped and spun around. Completely losing my balance and almost falling backwards. Except there was an arm that grabbed me. Damon pulled me back up. He kept his hand on my arm, making sure that I'm keeping my balance. After a moment he lets go of my arm and backs away.

"What are you doing in my room?" I ask, I'm afraid it may have come out a little more harsh than I intended it too. I actually didn't want it to come out that way at all. The only thing is, my head is pounding, I can barely hear my own thoughts.

There is a moment of silence.

"I wanted to make sure that you were ok." Damon admitted.

Now I feel guilty for being snappy.

"I'll be ok, after the throbbing in my head passes." I say as I walk over to my bed. I immediately crash on it, not even caring that Damon is still standing there. "I'm just going to sleep this off."

"That's probably a good idea."

I just groaned again. I really don't feel like talking.

"Elena?" Damon asked and I looked over to him standing by the window. "If you need anything, just call me." With that Damon was gone, faster than I can blink.

I laid there in bed wondering about what he just said. I had never had Damon offer me anything before. Especially something like that.

Call him?

Like in a friend kind of way? In a "Hey, we're friends come comfort me kind of way"? Or was this a "Hey, we're friends, can I borrow that shirt with the stripes"? Or is this a "If some vampires start patrolling your house, give me a ring"? Or maybe its, "If Stefan breaks out and tries to come drain you of all of you blood, call me"?

If that last option happened though, I don't think Damon would be in any condition to answer the phone if Stefan would manage to get past him.

Am I over thinking all of this?

Why am I even trying to analyze something that Damon Salvatore said to me?

Oh that's right, its because I've been told he is nothing but pure straight-out-of- hell-evil.

If he is though, then how can I explain the moments like this? The moments when I feel like he is being the real Damon. That does have a soul. That's really just a broken fragment of someone who used to be good.

There is that little nagging part though in the back of my brain that remembers the things that Stefan has told me. That make me wonder if this is a part of something bigger though. That this is all a master plan of Damon's to kill me to get revenge on Stefan over Katherine.

That or Stefan's paranoia is really getting to me. He does have a reason to be that way though...

I really doubt it though.

Even if Damon really isn't showing it right now, only a little bit, I believe that I have yet to completely see the real Damon Salvatore.


	4. Chapter 4

Its my most familiar dream.

I'm standing outside.

The sky is black except now I see hundreds of starts illuminating it.

The wind that used to whip around so furiously in my dream is now gone, replaced with a breeze.

The dream that I have had so many times, the dream that used to scare me, is intriguing me right now.

Why has it changed?

Then he is here.

The crow. He's always here.

I'm not afraid though. I look up at him as he soars gracefully through the night sky. I sit down on the grass, pulling my knees up close to my body. I keep watching. The bird gets lower and closer before he slowly lands on one of my knees.

I knew that he was coming down for me, this time I was ready. I didn't move.

I looked straight into his eyes. There was something familiar about them.

I slowly lifted up my right hand. I held my fingers just a few inches from the jet black feathers. I paused as if an indication if it was ok to touch him. The bird didn't move but instead nodded his head once.

It shocked me. Could it possibly know what I meant? I let the tips of my fingers touch the soft feathers. I paused again before I ran my fingers down its side. I'm not afraid. There's something about him. I smiled lightly at him and continued to pet him.

The crow took off suddenly. Flying up towards the night sky. I could see his black silhouette against the sparkling sky. The stars seemed to shine brighter now. A burst of light against the darkness.

I woke up just as I was watching the bird gracefully fly away. Its the first time that the crow has been in my dream that I wasn't completely horrified. I also didn't wake up in a panic.

I got out of bed and got ready to head over to go check on Stefan. I know that he wont be any different today. I know this is going to be a long process. I guess its all the movies and books that have a small part of me convinced that he would be cured overnight. I'm trying to hard to convince myself that this isn't how something like this works. I don't want the disappointment.

I'm standing outside of their place. The giant doors feeling like a welcoming of the disappointment that I don't want. I know that I don't need to knock on the door but I lift up the handle on the knocker and do it anyways. I guess its because I don't want to walk in on Damon doing something completely Damon-like.

Would he still do that though?

No. I don't think that he would. Not right now at least.

The door opens, of course Damon is the one to greet me.

I don't know what to say to him. Damon must be feeling the same way. Instead of talking, he walks away from the door and over to the study. I close the door behind myself. No witty comment? I'm more than shocked. I know Damon has been different lately, in a good way, but this definitely isn't his nature.

I walk past the study and to the staircase leading down to the cellar. I stand outside of the door for a few moments. I don't want to see Stefan this way. I take in a deep breath and look inside of the small window.

Stefan is sitting on the floor with his back to a wall. The wife beater that he had been wearing was completely filthy now. Dark red stains on it. Where did they come from? I look at Stefan's hands. The skin there is completely ripped, dried blood around his knuckles. He had been punching something in here. The wall most likely. His skin looks a lot more pale than usually, the shine to it is completely gone. Its drying out. So fast? It must be the vervain.

"Elena.." Stefan's weak voice calls out. The sound makes my lips tremble.

"I'm sorry for everything Stefan." I whisper.

"Open the door Elena." He sounds more like the old Stefan. I know I shouldn't, but maybe he is ok.

My fingers lightly touch the latch. I feel a hand on mine immediately. I look up to see Damon staring at me. His eyes are saying everything right now, he looks mad. I let go of the latch quickly.

"He's faking it. He wants you to sympathize him so you will open up the door." Damon doesn't sound entertained by any of this at all. I should have known. How could I fall for Stefan in there? He just seems so helpless.

"God damnit it Damon!" Stefan screams standing up. His eyes turn red, the veins beneath them bulging out showing his anger and his hunger. Stefan punches the wall, further injuring his hands. I push my back up against the wall. I feel like going catatonic. This can't be real. This can't be Stefan.

"You're not coming out. When you can convince me your Saint Stefan again I might consider it then. Come on Elena." Damon sounds so calm now. His hand wraps around my upper arm, somewhat pulling me up the stairs and to the study. I don't even bother having him let go. I don't think that I would have made it up on here on my own.

I sit down in one of the oversized arm chairs. I know my eyes are blank. I can feel them starting to get wet. I try with everything to hold it in. I wont break down right now. I can hear Damon going for his usually drink. A glass of golden liquid.

I never really thought about how hard all of this must be for Damon.

I have always looked at him as a soulless monster. I never looked at him like Stefan. The thing is though, with all of this, I realize it. My mind starts going off in a hindered different directions.

A new part of me now has that sympathy for him. Not just that but something else. I can't figure out the emotion correctly. I know that he says that he hates Stefan but I never thought if this is actually effecting him. I need to say something.

"Damon?" I say quietly, finally letting my blank stare drop.

"Hmmm?" Is how he responds, the glass he is holding moving up to his lips.

"Thank you." I say quietly looking at him. He's quiet. The glass frozen in place. "I wouldn't have been able to do this without you." He stays quiet, this time drinking more of his liquor.

I want to talk to him. There's so many different things that I want to say, that I want to ask. This is Damon though. He isn't one to open up. He also isn't responding well to my thank you. I mean it though. I sigh in defeat.


	5. Chapter 5

**The silence around me is too much for me to handle. It feels like the air is screaming at me. **

**"Can we talk?" I ask Damon trying to sound calm. **

**"About how you were saying my name last night in your sleep?" Damon says, a smirk coming to his lips quickly. **

**There's the Damon I know.**

**"Yeah ok Damon." I say rolling my eyes.**

**"You don't remember?" He asks. His smirk now turning into a grin.**

**I sit there seriously contemplating it. I remember my dream so well. There was the crow. **

**That's when I remember the end of the dream. As the crow flew off into the night sky. I called out a name. **

_**"Damon."**_

**My eyes widen in shock and realization that I called out his name. **

**The bird was Damon.**

**"I...I.." I stuttered my words. I don't know what to say. How do I explain this? "Have you been controlling my dreams?" I ask him getting a little irritated. **

**Damon responds quickly. "No! No, I can't do anything like that. I am curious as to what you were dreaming about though and as to why you are now thinking that I can control your dreams. Was it a good dream?" He asks still grinning and putting an emphasis on the word good. **

**I roll my eyes. The thing is though, something feels normal about this. Not just normal but maybe right. I'm not getting irritated like I used to. This is somewhat welcoming.**

**"I'll keep my dreams to myself." I say matter of fatly to him.**

**"Oh come on Elena. You know I just find joy in aggravating you. You can tell me though, if you really want to. Maybe I can make those dreams come true." Damon winks and me and finally sets his glass down as the last of his drink is gone. **

**I'm sitting here ready to say something back to him about how has disgusting and how I am with Stefan when something else hits me.**

**"How did you know that I called out your name last night in my dream?" Now I am really curious and a little ticked off. There is silence between me and him. **

**Every time he gives me a straight answer, is when he pauses before answering me. I think its because he contemplates how he wants to say it or how I might react. When he does this though, I can't really react badly because I appreciate that he is starting to trust me enough to answer me honestly.**

**"I didn't stay here last night. There was no point with Stefan locked up. I stayed outside of your house all night." Damon wont look at me. I know he thinks that I am probably going to start screaming at him.**

**"Why?" I ask simply. More curiosity in my voice than anything else, I hope that he can tell that. **

**"Pearl and Anna are still in town of course and Anna can get into your house. I don't know what Pearl is up to or what other vampire may somehow have gotten an invitation into your house so I stayed outside all night. If something were to happen to you.." Damon cuts himself off and its killing me, I want to know what he was going to say. He spaces off for a few seconds, his eyes never looking at me. "..I would have to deal with Stefan after that and I don't want to listen to that for the next hundred years." His voice changes from gentle to more harsh. He gets up and walks over to where his drinks of choice are. **

**He stayed out there for me. Threes a new found respect that I have for him.**

**"Will you be out there every night if Stefan is still..not ok?"**

**"Probably not." Damon is standing at the bar facing away from me, pouring himself a drink.**

**"I want you too though." I say quietly and look down at the ground.**

**The silence that was once in the room comes back completely smothering me. **


	6. Chapter 6

I take in a breath and pull the air.

_Inhale._

I hold it there for a moment.

_Exhale. _

"Why do you want me to?" Damon asks. I'm still concentrating on my breathing. I stop, gathering the courage to have this conversation with him.

"I know, that despite what Stefan may say about you, that you'll keep my safe." With the last word that comes out I look down at the ground and start fidgeting with my fingers and picking at my nails. I'm too nervous to look at him. I don't know what has come over me all of a sudden.

"I'll be out there then."

I couldn't help but smile. I kept looking down at the floor though because I don't want Damon to see.

I feel like this might be my chance to actually talk to him.

"What was Katherine like?" I ask, looking up at him into his piercing blue eyes. There is a pause between us as Damon sits back down in the chair across from me.

"Do you really want to know this?" Damon asks and I nod my head lightly to show him yes. "Katherine was beautiful, just as you are. That was just visually though. Everything she did, the way she moved, its almost as if there was something seductive about it. You could see it in her eyes. There was a lust behind them. Not like yours, yours are so different."

I was trying not to notice the fact that Damon was pointing out the differences between me and Katherine. I guess its good in a way, to know that I'm not like the woman that tore these two brothers apart.

"How do you know that you loved her?" I'm not really expecting him to answer me on this but I really want to know.

"I was still human when I knew Katherine. I was beyond intrigued by her. I was infatuated, I could never get enough of her. I would have done anything for her, I did do anything for her." Damon wasn't looking at me at this point. He eyes were far gone, a sadness and longing behind them.

"If you were human though, how do you know that she never compelled you?" This isn't the question to ask. I don't want him to get mad and stop talking to me.

"The compulsion? I don't believe that she ever used it on me. I'm convinced of that. I'm also convinced that she never used it on Stefan. I think that he just said that to make the ease of him supposedly locking Katherine away easier on him. If she had compelled us, he would have never said anything to our father. If she had compelled us, the compulsion would have worn off a long time ago. I would have stopped looking for her a hundred years ago. The feelings that I had for Katherine carried on into my vampire life. All the way until the day at the church." The usual tone that Damon has in his voice though is gone, replaced with a sadness behind it.

"Damon.." I try to say but he isn't even listening to me.

"Those feeling now are replaced with something else. I didn't know that as a vampire that it would actually hurt." With that, in a flash Damon is standing back up and at the bar. I know I hit something with him. I feel so guilty. I see why he is drinking so much more right now. Its not just to help the thirst, its to stop the pain.

I get up out of the chair and walk up behind him.

"Damon." I say and this time he turns around. I look up into his eyes as he looks down into mine. I can see the sadness. I reach up, standing on my toes and wrap my arms around his neck. I lightly pull him into me. I rest my head on his shoulder. My eyes begin to well up. I hold it back. Its like I can feel his pain. "I'm sorry." I whisper to him lightly.

This time Damon takes his arms and wraps them around my waist. His body is hard against mine.

I take in a sharp breath. I wasn't expecting him to hug back. I'm sure he noticed my momentary shock. He goes to let go. Instead I wrap my arms around him just a little bit tighter, trying to show him that its ok. With that he keeps his arms around me. I can feel a difference this time. He isn't as tense. We stay like this for a few moments.

Damon is the one to break the hug. I feel his arms slide away from me. A part of me is screaming for him to come back. I push the thought aside. It has to be the sympathy that I have for him. I wont dwell on it long enough to think that its anything else.

"Don't you ever tell Stefan. He's too out of it right now to hear us from down there." Damon's voice isn't as soft anymore. I can tell that he has reverted back to himself. For those few moments though I saw the real Damon. Moments that I will always remember.

"I know that I am with Stefan but I wouldn't betray you like that." I mean every single word that comes out of my mouth. I look at Damon to show him, that he can hopefully see that I mean all of it. Damon just nods his head in an understanding.

For those few moments Damon Salvatore had let his guard down and let me in.


	7. Chapter 7

I stayed there. I stayed there in the darkness with him. The silence was there but I didn't even notice it. We spent most of the day just sitting outside of the cellar in silence. I didn't mind it though. I find a new comfort in having Damon around the past few days.

Now I'm at home, pacing around in my room.

My mind is spinning out of control.

I can't stop thinking about Damon.

There's something there. I know it. He's knows it too. He's said it to me before.

_"You and me have something."_

Back then I wanted so much to deny. I never believed anything that he said to me.

But now, this is different. I'm really believing it.

I feel like I'm the only one who see's Damon for who he really is.

When Stefan gets better, I still have to have this with Damon. I know that if I don't, then he wont have anyone. Anyone who understands him. I don't want to him to go back to how he was.

More importantly, I don't want to lose this.

I run over to my window. I undo the latch quickly and push the window open. I look out into the darkness of the night. Of course I can't see anything. I know he is here though.

"Damon." I call out his name very quietly but I know he will hear me, he has to. I move a few feet back from my window. Within seconds Damon is standing in my room right in front of me.

I look up into his eyes. I can't look away. It feels as if I'm falling into them. If I keep looking I'll fall forever.

I regain my composure, well somewhat, enough to form words.

"I want to talk to you." My words come out rushed, like I've been in a panic.

"Ok." Damon says slowly trying to understand why I am doing this, a small look of confusion on his face.

"If...when Stefan gets better. I don't want to lose this. Even if he doesn't like it or even if he keeps telling me how dangerous you are, I don't." I move my hands around the whole time I'm talking. I start pacing around my room. My nerves are going crazy.

"Lose what?" I know Damon knows exactly what I'm talking about. He just wants me to say it.

"Lose _us_. Lose what I have with you." I look up at him when I say this and I stop moving around my room. The look on his face has changed from confused to serious. He's letting the silence come between us aging.

"Remember when you told me, that you and me have something, and I tried so hard to prove you wrong. You were right though. I'm starting to think that we do." The words are just coming out of my mouth. I run a hand through my hair and bite my lower lip. "I want us to be friends Damon." The look on Damon's face goes from serious to that of a look of agitation.

"Elena, I don't do the whole "friends" thing." I could even here it in his voice. What happened?

"Please Damon?" I ask as I move closer to him, my eyes pleading with him.

"Elena.." Damon says and he rolls his eyes and moves away. I'm really not understanding why he is acting like this after everything.

"Damon, don't do this. Please." Its getting on the verge of begging but at this point I don't care.

"Stefan wont be happy." I know that's his way of accepting this.

"I can deal with Stefan." The edge that was in my voice is completely calm now.

"Get some sleep Elena, I think you need it." With that Damon leaves out of my window. I close the window but don't lock it. A small smile resting on my lips.

I go over to my bed and lay down. Its amazing how everything feels so different now with Damon around. In a really good way though. With Stefan going through this...I don't know what I would do without Damon.


	8. Chapter 8

The dream is back.

I don't mind it this time though, I welcome it. Just like the night before I walk out onto the grass and sit down with my knees up to my chest. I watch the crow soaring around.

Instead of flying down onto my knee like last night, he flies off into the woods. I sit here lost for a moment.

I hear something in the woods. I look over to my right. I can see a shadow beginning to emerge. My heart starts racing. The figure steps out of the woods and is just a few feet from where I am.

"Damon." I whisper so lightly.

His face is illuminated by the moonlight. He smiles at me. His skin looks so much paler but softer at the same time. Damon smiles at me. Not a smirk, not a grin, but a smile. I can't help but smile back up at him, he looks beautiful.

Damon sits down on the ground next to me. He looks up to the sky as I keep looking at his features. I never really looked at him like this before. He doesn't look anything like Stefan. He's taller, his hair is darker, his facial features are so much more defined. Then there are his icy blue eyes that are so piercing. I get the urge to reach out and touch his face, just like I had when he was a crow. I hold back though.

Damon lays down in the grass still looking up at the sky. The remnants of the smile are still lingering on his face.

I have completely forgotten about the sky and the hundreds of stars lighting it up. I can only look at Damon. I can see him so clearly in this light. I take in a breath and I swear that I can smell his cologne.

"You should really be looking at the stars Elena, they never look like this in Mystic Falls." Damon says to me and he's right. Not like this, there are never this many and they are never nearly as bright as these ones.

I lay down in the grass next to him. I feel the cool blades against my skin. I can also feel Damon just an inch away from me. His hands are laid out across his chest. I put my arms on each side of me and let them hit the grass.

"We do have something Elena. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything to you today." Damon says, his voice is entrancing to me. Its like I can hear a sparkle in it.

"I think that I am really starting to care about you Damon." At first I don't know why I say it but then I figure its because its my dream. Its easier to tell my imagination about this.

"You're the only person, in over a hundred years, that has showed any amount of concern or genuine interest in me." As he says the words I know that they're true. Maybe its just the words that I want to hear.

"Promise me that you'll stay this way." I say to him.

"I'll try." He responds, his voice even.

"I'll keep pushing." I mean every part of it.

We lay there in the grass. I hear him move his arm down onto the grass, just how mine are. I can feel his hand barely an inch away from mine. My body is screaming at me to reach out, to close that small space between us and to touch his hand. To twine his fingers with mine. I breathe in, holding back the urge.

The horizon begins to break with new light. I've been lying here with him for a while, I didn't even notice the time. Bursts of yellow and pink begin to line the sky why some of the stars still hover.

We continue to lay there and watch the day break completely wash away the traces of night. The sun is hiding behind the trees. The rays of light breaking through, making streams shine down on the area me and Damon are on. I can feel the new warmth of the sun. I smile at the comfort.

"You should probably wake up soon." Damon says, standing up.

"But…" I say to protest but Damon cuts me off.

"I need to go." I nod at him in understanding but I don't want this to end. With that I seem him disappear off into the woods. A moment later a crow flies out of the tree tops and off into the light.

I wake up. Sunlight streaming in through my window right onto my bed. Everything felt so real. The grass, the sunlight, the words, Damon. It was my dream.

I run my hand through my hair taking in a deep breath. There's a scent in my room. I breathe in again, the scent like embers going down my throat. I know this scent. Its never been this strong to me before.

Damon's cologne.

I know that he was in here last night, but that was hours ago. The scent definitely wouldn't have stayed this long. He was here, just recently, in my room.

I need to see him.


	9. Chapter 9

I push the door open to the boarding house. I look around downstairs, I don't see Damon anywhere. I walk past the staircase leading down to the cellar. I pause for a moment. Not now, I tell myself and instead take the stairs leading up. I walk down the hallway to the door that I know is Damon's. I don't even bother being quiet. I open up the door. The room is enveloped in darkness. The dark red drapes are covering the sun from coming in through the window.

Damon is asleep on his bad. His covers are pulled down past his waist. His chest is completely bare. He lays motionless. I stop myself for a moment. Just letting myself look at him. I start comparing him to the dream that I had last night. His features were so real in my dream. Usually with everyone else, they aren't as clear. That dream though, was so real. I need to know.

I walk over to the bed. The faint smell of his cologne is still lingering on his skin. "Damon." I say. Nothing. I shake the bed with my hand. "Damon." I repeat myself. Still nothing. I tuck my hair behind my ear and sigh in frustration. I was expecting him to be awake. I look around the room to see if there is anything that I can use that would make an impact to wake him up.

"You know that even when I'm sleeping I still have heightened hearing. I heard your car pull up." I look over at Damon. He is still lying there with his eyes closed but a small smirk on his face.

"Then why would you pretend that you're asleep?"

"So that maybe you would skip downstairs and let me get some sleep, I didn't really get a lot last night." With that Damon opens up his eyes to look at me. He turns on his side and rests his head on his hand with his arm propping him up.

"And why didn't you get a lot of sleep last night?" I ask putting a hand on my hip, waiting for his answer.

"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you asked me to lurk outside of your house all night." Damon sits up now, moving his head back and forth. I hear a light crack as he continues to stretch the rest of the muscles in his body.

"I had a dream about you again last night." I say to him quietly.

"I know." Damon looks up at me. I get that falling feeling again as I look into his eyes. Damon is sitting on the edge of his bed. He has on black sweatpants that are hanging loosely from his waist. The rest of his body is exposed. The muscles on his chest and stomach are much more defined than Stefan's are. Damon is a lot more chiseled, he looks more like something out of Greek mythology than a vampire. I can't help but to look at him. Damon looks up at me and he notices that I am running my eyes over his whole body. He raises an eyebrow at me and I quickly snap out of it or at least try to.

"I know that I already asked you this but I have a feeling that I didn't get the right answer or that I didn't ask the right question. Can you get into my dreams?" I look into his eyes and hope that he will answer me honestly. Damon looks down at the ground. I know he is going to. Every time he answers me with the truth, he can never look at me at first. Which is the complete opposite, its normally people who lie who have a hard time looking at anyone. Its one small thing that I have noticed about him. Damon finally looks up at me.

"I can enter your dreams and I have been doing it for a while." Damon says and I quickly open my mouth to start ranting about how what he is doing isn't right but he cuts me off instead. "I can't control what goes on in your dreams. I mean I can control what I do, but your actions are your own. I just respond to them accordingly."

"The dreams that I had months ago, why were you trying to scare me? The dreams that you sent to Bonnie too."

"When I first came here Elena, it wasn't to get to know you, I could have cared less back then. I came here strictly to ruin whatever Stefan was up to. Any opportunity that I saw, I gladly took. Also if you were afraid of me and your little witch friend too, it just added to the fun."

Its not what I wanted to hear. I don't know what I was expecting though. "Damon! That's horrible."

Damon sighs as he stands up and walks over to a dresser, pulling out a plain black shirt. "I know it is, I don't do it now though, now do I?" He takes the shirt and pulls it over his head. It fits tightly on him, but not in a bad way. I can see the definition of the muscles in his arms through the shirt.

"No you don't but…"

"But what Elena? You're telling me that the past two nights you haven't enjoyed your dreams? They are your dreams after all. Like I said, I can't control them, I can just enter them." His raises an eyebrow questioningly at me.

"I have enjoyed them." I say to him, trying to make my voice sound even. Though I want to let it be quiet, I don't want to show a sign of the nerves that are wanting to surface. Damon smirks at me, he knows he has me with this. "Did you mean what you said last night, when we were laying on the grass?" My voice is a little more quiet now. My nerves finally giving way. I don't know what is happening to make me feel this way.

"Every single word." My heart beats a little bit faster at his words. He can tell the difference in me too, he looks at me questioningly. I'm hoping he wont read too much into this. I'm having a hard time covering my emotions right now. I'm not even too sure what all of them mean.

"If you mean them, then why don't you just say them to me, in person?"

"I found it easier to communicate with you, through your dream. I tested out how you were reacting to me the other night. Then with what happened yesterday, the conversation that we had, it seemed safe for me to show myself. You reacted a lot better than I thought you would." Damon stops looking at me and walks over to his desk that's in the corner of his room. He never really focuses on me, well he does, its just that he tends to occupy him with something else when I am trying to talk to him. This must be more difficult for him that I once thought.

"You meant everything you said?" I ask him this again. I move over to the desk where he is opening up drawers and rummaging through things. He shuts the drawers and looks up at me.

"I wouldn't have come there if I didn't mean what I was going to tell you."

"Stay this way." I know that I said the same thing to him last night in my dream but this time I wanted to say it out loud. I want him to know how much I mean this. I see Damon's eyes soften.

"I'll try." He repeats the same words and a small smile comes to my lips. I know that he means it. I step a little bit closer to him, trying to close the space between us. Damon doesn't move. I take another step closer. My breathing is starting to increase as my heart starts to pound in my chest. Damon is so close to me that I can feel his breath lightly on my face. We both stand here like this for a moment. I slowly lift up my hand and go to reach for him.

"I better go check on Stefan." Damon says to me. With that he moves out of the room quickly. Leaving me standing there. I continue to reach out to where he was a second ago even though he isn't there anymore. Nothing. I drop my hand and look at the door where Damon just ran out of.


	10. Chapter 10

I'm dying to catch my breath. I can feel my heart beating inside of my chest. With each breath I take, I can feel my heart aching. I'm still standing in Damon's room. I don't know what I was thinking, but I felt like I was being pulled towards him those few moments ago. Nothing mattered in that moment. The only thing that I wanted was to feel Damon's skin on mine. Just to reach out and touch him.

He moved so quickly though. He doesn't want me to be near him? I don't know. This is all so confusing right now. I thought that we were actually getting somewhere. I need to relax.

Its so strange. I can feel every fiber in my body calling out to him when I am near him. Breathe Elena.

I need to see Stefan, I need to forget about this.

I've almost forgotten about Stefan.

I leave Damon's room and head down the stairs. Damon is by the front door putting his jacket on.

"I need to go out for a bit, I'll be back later." I don't even bother to ask Damon where he is going, I can hear an edge to his voice. Damon stops at the door, with his hand on the doorknob. His back is turned to me. I watch him there for a moment. He turns his head to the side, as if he was going to say something. Instead he turns his head back towards the door, opening it. The sunlight streams in through the front door, barely lighting up the hallway there. Damon walks out the door letting it slam closed behind him. I flinch lightly at the sound.

I can feel anger welling up inside of me. My eyes begin to turn hot as I feel them start to fill with liquid. I opened myself up to him last night, I've been letting him in, just as he was doing the same for me. This must be Damon's cut off point. I can't do this, not now. I shouldn't be dwelling on this. I need to check on Stefan. I walk down the stairs and into the basement where Stefan is locked away in the cellar. I look in through the small window that is carved into the door. Stefan looks so much worse today. My aching heart hurts even more now. How have I been ignoring him down here by himself? I've been so horrible.

"Elena…" Stefan's voice cracks as he tries to whisper my name. My bottom lip trembles when I hear him.

"Stefan." I call out quietly to him.

"I need you Elena, I can't do this alone." His voice is so raspy.

"I'm here for you Stefan." I rest my fingers on the window as I continue to look through it. Stefan looks up at me and I can see tears welling up in his eyes. He no longer looks like the monster that I saw a few days ago.

"I love you so much Elena, I never want to hurt you." With those words I see a small tear slide down Stefan's face. I can't do this anymore. Damon said that Stefan can't hear what we were saying upstairs. He can't possibly know that Damon isn't here right now.

"I'm going to come in there Stefan." I say quietly as I unlatch the door. There is a loud clank and I stop breathing for a moment. Stefan doesn't move, he stays where he is. His dark eyes pleading with me. I crack open the door and slide myself in slowly. I keep my back up against the wall as I begin to inspect the area.

"Please Elena?" There is so much sorrow behind his voice. That's all it takes for me to rush over to his side. I kneel down next to him, taking my hands and cupping his face.

"I'm so sorry Stefan, this is all my fault. I've made this all a mess." I begin to break down as I am on my knees, still cupping Stefan's face.

"I just want to be ok Elena." Stefan says and his words sound so genuine. This is my Stefan.

"You will be, I promise. I'll be here for you." I keep my voice as steady as possible. My heart wants to shatter but I can't completely lose it right now.

Stefan begins to stand up and I move with him. He balances himself on his feet. I keep my hands around his waist. Stefan rests his head on my shoulder and pushes himself in closer to me. I move my hands from his waist up his back. The comfort that I once had with Stefan is gone. I realize this as I feel him breathing on my neck.

Stefan pushes the both of us back. My back lightly hit's the wall and I close my eyes on the impact. My mind is slowly starting to piece together everything. This isn't my Stefan, he no longer brings me the comfort that he once did.

I can feel his breathing start to get a little heavier. Stefan takes his hands and reaches behind him. Pulling my arms off of him. He uses one hand to pin my left wrist to the wall.

"Stefan." I whisper but I know that he is too far gone.

There's no point in fighting it. He'll win in the end. I close my eyes, knowing what is going to happen at the end of all of this. Stefan's free hand moves its way up my body. His move my hair out of the way, completely exposing the right side of my neck. His finger tips start to lightly trace patterns on my neck, following my veins. My body shivers, not from his touch, but from my nerves. I keep my eyes closed, just feeling him. I don't want to see this. I feel his fingers start to move down my neck and to the top of my bust line. I take in a sharp breath. Why? I ask myself, frightened. Stefan doesn't do what I thought he was going to.

Instead I feel him touch my necklace. He tugs lightly on it and I feel the clasp in the back break. I open my eyes as I watch him toss the necklace onto the ground. A small cloud of dirt bursts up into the air as the necklace hits it. My hands begin to shake. I attempt to jerk my body to at least loosen the grip that he has on one of my wrists. It does nothing. It really starts to sink in what's going on. Stefan's mouth is barely an inch away from my neck. I feel his lips touch my skin as his kisses my neck. A tear slides down my face as I close my eyes.

"Please don't." My voice is broken.

"I need you Elena." I can hear the smile in his voice. Another tear makes its way down my face. I hear the change happen. I hear his face twist as the fangs have come out by now. He's taking his time. Stefan open's his mouth and I can feel the sharp cool point of his teeth begin to pierce my skin. The tears are uncontrollable by now. I can feel them fall one right after the other but I stay quiet, my eyes still shut. This is it. I'll lose my life to Stefan Salvatore, the man that I thought I loved. Now he is barely a fragment of the man I knew, I'll remember him as a monster. With that I let the last tear fall and prepare myself for the pain that is about to come.


	11. Chapter 11

I didn't think that I would die at such a young age. I also didn't think it would be at the hands of the person that I thought I loved. I just wished I could have made everything write with everyone else in my life. I exhale the breath that I had been holding in. In that moment I feel the weight of Stefan's body come off of me and the thud of something hitting the ground.

I open my eyes to see Stefan on the ground with Damon standing over him. A vicious snarl comes out of Stefan. I'm frozen in place as I watch the two brothers.

"Get out of here Elena." Damon says without even looking at me, his eyes strictly down on Stefan who is now raising to his feet. I still can't bring myself to move. "I'm serious Elena." I can hear the anger in his voice, there is something preventing me from moving. A part of me thinks its because Damon is near me. "Now!" He snaps at me and I snap out of it. I run out of the cellar and up the stairs. I hear the noise of one of them being pushed into a wall.

It kills me to hear this. I listen to Damon though, there is no point for me to stay here right now. I run to the front door which is wide open. My car is parked a little down the driveway. I run to it opening up the drivers side door. My keys are in the middle of the car in a cup holder. I pick them up and quickly look for the one that starts my car. I get my finger on it. I shove it into the ignition then turn it. The car comes to life. I quickly reverse out of the driveway. I pause for a moment once I am out on the open road. I need to collect myself. I don't want this to be like the night that I found out that I looked like Katherine.

I regain myself. I slowly being to drive away from the boarding house, I look in the review mirror as I watch it fade into the distance.

I get home. Alaric and Aunt Jenna are in the kitchen sitting at the island that is placed in the middle.

"Hello Elena." I can hear Alaric saying as I rush up the stairs. I don't want to talk to them.

"Elena!" I can hear Jenna call after me. I can faintly hear her and Alaric talking. "Well that was rude. I'm sorry Alaric."

"Its alright, its just that teenage angst." I hear Alaric's voice carry up the stairs making an excuse for me. He knows that it is so much more than that.

I push open the door to my room, shutting it quickly behind me. What was I thinking? How could I have thought that Stefan was ok? He seemed so much like the Stefan I knew. I wanted him to be better so much that I believed it. Hot tears are still streaming down my face. I didn't know that anything could hurt this much. I want to talk to someone so much but I can't. I can't even talk to Bonnie. She's left me.

I guess its really more that I left her first.

The pain of knowing that I've lost Bonnie washes over me. I really don't have anyone now. I know how furious Damon is going to be at me. I walk over to my window to make sure that the window is still unlocked. Damon will be with Stefan for a while.

I go over to the painting above my bed. I move the painting just a bit with one hand and use my other one to reach for my diary that I have hidden back there. I haven't be able to write in it for days. I have no other way to vent out what is going on right now.

I sit down on my bed, with my back to my wall. My eyes are starting to dry. I open up the book. The last entry that I had was when I was talking about how Stefan and I were trying to be normal. Reading the words brings the sadness back to me. I hold it in though. I grab the pen that was in the middle of the book.

My mind starts racing with everything that has been going on. Pearl, my uncle Jonathan, Vickie, Bonnie, Stefan…and Damon. As I'm writing I realizing a pattern. No matter what I always go back to the topic of Damon. I deiced to write about the dream that I had with Damon.

_Damon says that he can't control anything that goes on in my dream. I believe him too. I laid there with him for what seemed like forever. I didn't mind though, everything there was so beautiful. Being with him in the dream was an escape from all of the bad that has been happening. These past few days Damon has been the most real thing. I've seen a side of him, the side that I believe is how he was always suppose to be. I think that the act that he has always been playing, was just that, an act. I don't think was ever really suppose to be so evil, or actually enjoyed it that much. _

_Stefan though, he deceived my from the beginning. The person that he has been pretending to be all these years, I don't believe that was ever really him. I need to know though. _

_I can't believe how naive I have been about everything. Enough to believe everything Stefan ever said to me and complete ignore Damon, who could have been this way from the beginning if it wasn't for Stefan. Maybe things would have been different if I would have met Damon first. _

_A part of me wants everything to go back to the way it was. This other part of me though, is glad that all of this happened. If this really is how Stefan is, I don't think that I can be with him. He's lost to me._

I stop for the moment. My body exhausted from the stress of everything. I curl up on my side. My dairy is still in my hand, its smooth cover against my skin. I close my eyes as I can feel my heart wanting to shatter. I close my eyes, I want to run away from this mess that I have helped make. I lay here hoping that the sleep I want to bad will take me soon.

I slip into darkness.

The place that I have come to appreciate is different to me now. I look around the clearing. Everything is so dark that I can barely make out the outlines of the forest that line the grassy area. I look up in the sky. All of the stars are completely gone, not even the moon is out. There is a wind that is blowing now making the area seem freezing. I take my arms and wrap them around myself in attempt to make it seem not so cold. There hasn't been wind here in a while. Autumn leaves begin to blow past my feet. They used to be autumn leaves. It takes me a while in this darkness to realize all of the leaves are dead.

I sit down on the grass in complete defeat. I can hear the crunch of the leaves beneath me. The sadness from my life has carried over into this place that I was starting to appreciate. Even in my dream, I know that its my dream. I can't change it though. I keep thinking to myself, if I just wake up, this can stop.

I don't wake up though. I lay on the grass instead looking up into the inky black sky.

Without Damon this place has changed so much, an even bigger sadness washes over me.

I lay here for what feels like hours. I'd rather stay here at the moment than face what awaits me outside of here.

I hear a caw come out of the forest. I sit up quickly and look into the direction of where the noise came. The same noise repeats itself. I notice now that the wind has pushed all of the leaves away. Not just that but the wind has stopped all in itself. I stay quiet, trying to listen for _him_ again. I look up and I can barely make out the outline of a crow flying around in the sky.

Damon.

The moment that I think his name, the sky slowly begins to fill up with the stars that were here before. I can see the crow so much more clearly now. I watch as he dives down into the woods. A moment later I see Damon emerge from the same area as before. The look on his face is serious, the smile that I saw before is now gone.

"I need you to wake up Elena." Damon says looking down at me as I am still sitting on the grass.

"I don't want to." I say and even I can hear the sadness in my own voice.

"I wont have this conversation with you in your dream. Wake up Elena." With that Damon moves back towards the area that he came from. The stars starting to flicker and fade with each step that he takes.

I keep repeating to myself to wake up. Before long I see my dream being ripped away from me as I come to consciousness.


	12. Chapter 12

The lamp next to my bed was on. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times to adjust them to the fake light. I look down at myself and see that I had fallen asleep in my clothing. There isn't any light coming through my curtains so it must be nightfall already. Standing at the edge of my bed is Damon. I look up at him. He is adorned in black jeans and a tight fitting black shirt. I see a faint trace of a scratch on his arm. It was probably a lot more earlier but he is already healing by now. The only thing that I can think is that he got the wound from Stefan, I immediately frown at the thought.

"It took you a few minutes to get up." Damon says breaking the silence between us.

"I didn't want to leave." I mean all of it. I hope that he knows that. After everything that has happened, how I used to act towards him, I don't know if he does.

Damon sits down on the edge of my bed and I decide to move closer to him so that we are sitting by each other. This time he doesn't move away from me like he did in his bedroom.

"What you did early Elena, was beyond stupid." I should have known that a speech was coming. I can't blame him though. The moment in that room when I realized how Stefan was acting and what he was up to, I knew it too. I was beyond naive.

"I know Damon." I say to him and he jumps up off of the bed, quickly turning around to face me.

"No I don't think that you do. I wasn't home. Stefan could have killed you and I wouldn't have been there to protect you! I would have gotten back and Stefan probably would have been hundreds of miles gone by then and you? You would be dead." His words started out harsh, it was easy for me to hear the anger behind them. I flinched when he said that he wouldn't have been able to protect me. His last sentence though held more sadness to it.

"You were there though and you did save me." I say to him as I stand up. I am only a few inches away from him. My body starts to get the same feeling that is has the past few days. Where I feel like every fiber in my body is being pulled towards him. I keep repeating him my head the one part where Damon talks about protecting me. I can feel something more behind it.

"It was pure luck that I got back to the boarding house when I did. I had to calm down before coming here tonight. I was so mad, you could have really gotten yourself hurt. I needed to talk to you though." Damon has opened himself back up to me. I don't know what to say to him. I feel so guilty now for going down in the cellar. Damon has been more than I could have asked for to me lately.

"Damon, I really am sorry." I begin to say to him. I've reached beyond my breaking point. My voice starts to crack as the tears start to slowly fall. Damon's mood completely switches again. He was just opening up to me a moment ago and now I can see an irritation in his face.

"There's no use in crying over Stefan right now. I know what happened earlier…" Damon is trying to talk to me but this time I cut him off, fed up.

"I'm not crying over Stefan!" I practically snap the words at him. Damon looks at me confused. "You've been the only good thing in my life that past few days and its killing me when you act this way towards me. You said that you would try. I understand that you're mad about what I did but I don't need this right now, especially not from you Damon!" The tears are still streaming and I take a hand to wipe them off of my cheek. I close my eyes for a moment.

I feel Damon's arms wrapped around my back. My eyes snap open in shock. I'm standing there with my arms hugged up against my chest. The hug is awkward at first but I start to feel Damon's muscles loosen around me as he eases into it. Damon rests his head on my chin. The shock slides away as I wrap my arms around his waist. I just admitted so much to Damon that I didn't even realize until just now.

"I'm sorry Elena." Damon whispers. The tears have stopped flowing and my heart has stopped aching.

"Damon, why is it, in my dreams, that every time you are there, the place seems so beautiful but when you're gone, the place is empty and cold?" He has been there with me, he must have a reason. I know he says that he can't control it but I don't have any explanation for it.

"I just assumed that it always looked that way, with the stars. It looks different when I'm gone?" Damon says, still resting his chin on the top of my head.

"Its horrible when you aren't there with me." I don't mind that he enters my dreams. Not when its that wooded area. "I was waiting for you to come tonight. It was just a really different place when you weren't there." I hug my arms around Damon just a little bit tighter. I don't know if he will ever hug me like this again and I want to take as much of it as I can. "It was so strange, when you came tonight, all of the stars appeared. Then when you were leaving me, their lights started to dim and some of them disappeared all together. I woke up though before I could watch the whole sky disappear. What do you think that it means?" I ask him, my face pressed up against his chest.

"I'm not quiet sure. I know that I have no effect expect for coming and going. Whatever it is, its linked to you. You must be controlling it somehow."

I keep my arms around him, one of the only comforts that I have had recently. Its strange to think that hugging Damon Salvatore would bring me such a huge comfort. I keep thinking about it. I'm relating Damon to the beauty of the wooded area. I guess I should really call it _our _wooded area. When I am just there by myself, its so dark. When Damon comes there though, the whole area lights up. I smile at the thought of the other night. Damon must mean a lot more to me than I can realize right now for him to effect my dream in such a dramatic way.

Damon lets go of me and I slowly loosen up my arms from him. I sit back down on the edge of the bed.

"Your necklace…" Damon starts to say but I cut him off for the second time this evening.

"I don't want it." I say flat out. I don't want anything that Stefan gave me. I am starting to wonder how I ever fell for him.

"I figured as much. Take this for now." I look at Damon as he slides his ring off of his finger. My eyes widen in shock. "Just until we can find you something that we can put vervain in."

"What will you do though?" I ask. I'm still staring at him in shock.

"I'll take Stefan's ring until then, I'm sure that he wont be going anywhere for a while." Damon grabs my right hand and slides his ring onto my index finger. I look down at the ring. The silver glistening in the light. I'm so wrapped up in the fact that I have Damon's ring on that I almost forget why he is here.

"Elena, did you ever manage to get the rest of the story?"

"What story?" I ask Damon, completely wrapped up in everything that just happened.

"The story of how Stefan and I got turned. How Stefan used to be." The words echo in my head right after I hear Damon say them. I stop looking at his ring and look up at him. His face looks like it is etched out of stone right now.

"Tell me." I say to him. I know this is the moment to hear about all of it. I want to know what Stefan used to be like. How him and Damon really got turned.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: I'm sorry I didn't push out one update yesterday. I spent my time letting seconds of my life waste away into the black abyss that is the DMV. Oh I was also trying to not neglect my boyfriend, who claims that I have some sort of "thing" for Damon. I don't know what ever gave him that idea. He wont even talk to me when I'm writing lol. Also if you have a chance you should go to my profile and check out the links for two wallpapers that I made in the early hours of the morning the other day. Also this chapter has a lot to do with the other nights episode. I am keeping how Damon and Stefan were turned. Except for the creepy part where Stefan kills their Dad and drinks his blood. Creep factor 11: Don't drink your parents blood, even if you're a vampire.

**Chapter Thirteen**

I was standing there looking at Damon. Into his light blue eyes. There is an anguish behind them that I have never seen before. I immediately sadden seeing him this way.

"Damon, please tell me?" I ask, moving just a little bit closer to him.

"Stefan was the first one to turn between the two of us. Did Stefan ever tell you how a person is turned into a vampire?" Damon asks me and I shake my head lightly in a no motion. "You have to have the vampire's blood in your system before you are killed. You need to have quiet a bit of it. After you die within a few hours you are reawakened. That's not completely what makes you a monster though. You need to feed after that to let the transition happen. If you decide not to feed, your body will eventually shut down and you'll die."

I just kept looking at Damon listening to his story.

"The men of the town were out on their crusade one night, it was the night that they had captured Katherine. Stefan and I had made a plan to get Katherine free. Stefan was going to lead the men off in another direction while I ran off to the carriage to get Katherine out. It was working. I had her out, I got her out of her restraints, there was a sadness to her eyes that night. It was the only time that I had ever seen it. She was almost completely free. That's when I felt a piercing pain near my chest. It started out slow then it began to burn. I fell to the ground. Stefan was calling out my name. I realized that I had been shot. I was laying there, trying to breathe when another shot went off. That's when they got Stefan. My heart stopped in those hours. The feeling stayed with me though. The burning feeling. That was Katherine's blood changing me. When I finally woke up, I went to go look for her. I watched them carry her into the church, I watched them set the church to fire with her in it."

Damon stops talking, his eyes are far gone. I sit here in silence waiting for him to continue.

"I watched her die or I thought I had." I know that Damon is trying to figure out how she slipped away so quickly. "After that, I went to where her witch had Stefan. That's when I found out that Katherine had been using compulsion on Stefan the whole time to drink her blood. Every time it happened, he had no recollection of it. I was pissed to say the least."

"Stefan wasn't suppose to be turned?" I ask Damon. I never knew that. I always had thought that they both agreed to be turned. Maybe I shouldn't have assumed.

"No he wasn't. That's just a lie that Katherine fed to me though. Katherine said that she wanted to be with me. She promised me everything, but most of all she promised me herself. That's the one thing that I really wanted, just her. I woke up in this world to find out that he was going to share the same fate as me. That Katherine went behind my back. I don't know why she did it, but I hated Stefan for it. It was suppose to be me and Katherine, not me, Katherine and Stefan. With this new knowledge I decided that I was going to let myself die. I wasn't going to feed to complete the transition. To me; there was no purpose in this life, as a vampire if I didn't involve Katherine to be with me."

It's the first time that I have ever heard Damon say so much about Katherine. I never realized how much he had really loved her until this moment.

"Later that night Stefan went wandering off. He went to our fathers house, I don't know what possessed him to go inside. Stefan and our father got into a fight. Our father tried to kill him and Stefan defended himself, not knowing his own strength and killed him. I know that he must have been bleeding. It was a lot for him to handle. Stefan left our father there to die. After that he went out into the town, there was a girl there. She must have been on her way home. The town thought it was safe with all of the vampires locked away in the tomb. Stefan caved in at that moment. He drank from the girl, completing his change."

I never knew that Stefan had killed their father, he never told me that. How could he? Even more, how could he never mention such an important detail. Stefan also never told me that he was the one to change first. There's so much that I don't know about Stefan. Is he the person that I know to be Stefan?

"Stefan brought the girl back to me. She was compelled. I didn't want anything to do with it. I still wanted to die. Stefan went on a big rant about how it was so much better than we thought it could be. The speed, the strength. Stefan wanted me to be what he is. I was trying so hard to refuse. The blood is hard to resist though. That's the exact moment that I decided that I was going to ruin Stefan's life like he had ruined mine. I drank from the girl like he wanted me to, after that I told him why I did it. "

"Damon, how could you?" It comes out of my mouth so fast.

"Stefan ruined everything that I had with Katherine. I chose to have a life with her. Stefan didn't want it, that's why she had to compel him. This wasn't just about him getting her locked away in a tomb, this was also the fact that he was never suppose to be turned. I forever lost Katherine that day and I'm never going to get her back. Stefan though, he has you. Stefan still gets the girl. With all of that though, he has guilt welling up inside of him. He knows that if he had never brought me that girl that night that I would have died. It would have saved so many people's lives. I've killed too many people Elena."

I was standing there in shock. They were both keeping so much to themselves but Damon actually told me. I wasn't expecting it. My bottom lip trembles as my hands begin to lightly shake. Its like I can feel Damon's sorrow. My heart is bursting with it as I can see it all over his face.

"Stefan has been going around all these years blaming himself for everything. Which was what I wanted. Thought I had wanted. What you probably don't get and what I know Stefan doesn't understand at all is that my actions are my own. He isn't responsible for them. There is no reason for him to feel guilty about the things I have done in this life. I have enough of my own guilt for it." A wave of emotions washes over me as Damon says this last part. Damon's voice has changed so much. You can hear the years of anguish behind it. I can see the regret on his face.

I can barely take it anymore. With the more lamenting his does the more I can feel an affliction of sadness come over me. I'm noticing that the more Damon shows these emotions to me the more I feel my heart wanting to break.

"I'm so sorry Damon, I never knew." The emotions are getting too much for me to handle, I try not to let myself cry. Even with everything that has been going on with Stefan lately, even with what happened to my parents, its not comparing to what I am feeling inside right now. I can't fully explain it. I'm scared, I want it to stop.

"You never bothered to ask." There is a harshness back in Damon's voice. I know that it must have taken a lot for him to admit what had happened all of those years ago.

I wish I had known all of this when I first met them. Stefan is so different and I think I might understand Damon even more now.

"I'll see you later Elena, I should go." Damon doesn't even let me get a word out. I blink and I miss him leaving out my window. Just the faint blow of my curtains gives away the indication that he was just here.

I kneel down on the ground. I try to wrap my head around everything. Both of them are so different than every thought that I have ever had of them. I never fully realized how much Damon really was in love with Katherine. I know it hurt him a lot more than he will ever admit that she's been walking around outside of the tomb this whole time.

The wave of emotions keep coming over me. At this point it is more like a monsoon that a wave. Its like I'm being hit by them but getting pushed against something hard. I don't know what's happening. None of them are good though; sadness, anger, resentment, grief, jealousy. Every horrible emotion I could ever think of all hitting me at once. I know that these can't be my emotions. What would bring them on?

I grab at my shirt and clench my fist up getting a good amount of the cloth in my hand. I'm grabbing at my chest. My breathing increases. I want the pain to stop, it hurts so much. My hands are shaking so hard at this point. My eyelids begin to flutter. I can feel my head getting light. I begin to sway back and forth. I can't handle it. My heart wants to burst. With each flutter, my room begins to become darker. No. This can't be happening.

"Damon." I whisper. With that last word I fall backwards onto my floor, I watch everything become dark.


	14. Chapter 13 and a half

My eyes are closed shut, I can't get them to open no matter how hard I try. I force them harder and harder but to no avail. My body is burning. I can feel the heat scorching through my veins. It was a vicious cycle. Every single horrible emotion I could ever possibly imagine keeps hitting me, over and over. The heat stopped and instead came a biting cold. For a moment I could see light but if was quickly eaten by shadows. This is the sadness and grief taking over me. My breathing comes back to normal but I know my body is moving slightly. I move my head back and forth in an attempt to shake away the darkness. I'm somewhat aware of what's going on. My mind is in here but I am trying to call out. Out of this grim place.

I scream in a hope that something will happen. That all of this will stop. The fire comes back to me, I know its hate coursing through my. I can feel it burning inside of me, my blood feels as if its actually boiling. I scream what I think is louder than before. My screams are a distant echo to me.

For a moment, I see an illumination. A burst of light in this twisting darkness. The light is brighter than anything I've seen. It keeps getting brighter until it flashes white. In the moment that it goes white I see a crow soaring, its black wings full spread out. I can see the light flowing through the gaps in the feathers. I stop screaming at that moment. I know that even in this hell that I don't need to now.

The bright light that had just come to me disappears. The pain completely stops and is washed over with a small sense of worry. My mind is spinning. Worry? Now that the pain has stopped, I try to open my eyes. They lightly open. I look through my eyelashes to see a figure leaning over me. His silky dark black hair looking disheveled, even when I am somewhat disoriented I can make out almost all of his features. I know them too well now. I fully open my eyes and look up into the exquisite blue eyes that I have come to know so well the past few days.

I see the worry behind his eyes, the panic.

"Elena, are you ok?" His voice is soothing. I take in every syllable listening to the softness in his voice like silk. I don't know how to respond to his question. I have a small idea of what might be causing all of this though. I just don't know how any of its possible.

"I'll be fine." I say the words quietly, knowing that they're true. Damon takes my hands into his and slowly lifts me off of the ground. I stumble for a moment but he catches me, putting his hand in the small of my back. I stumble forward this time. I end up with my body pushed against his. Damon still has his hand on my back. I look up into his eyes and feel a sense of calm surge through me.

"Ok. So can you explain to me what the hell just happened?" Damon asks, my body is still pressed up to his. I can't look away from his eyes. I stand there wondering how to explain to him my theory.


	15. Chapter 14

AN: Sorry it took so long to update. I had some of this typed out the other day but there was horrible wind outside that knocked my power out in the middle of it -.- this is my recovery attempt. Thanks for the reviews :)

* * *

Salvatore. Savior. My Savior. Damon.

I'm in my room. My head is fully clear now. I feel like my body can breathe again, the weight of the emotions that was pushing down on it is completely gone. I can feel my own emotions now. I should be scared but I'm not. I realize everything that happened. I'm not sure how it happened but it's the only thing that I can think of. The emotions that were pulling at me are more of a light hum now, more of a faint echo compared to my own. I'm so consumed by thinking of _how _all of this is happening that I almost forget that Damon is waiting for an answer.

"Elena." Damon says as more of a statement to snap me out of my mental state than a question. I look up into his eyes.

Damon has an arm underneath my body, propping me up. His other arm is on my stomach holding me in place. I can feel his muscles in his arms tense around my body. Damon slowly helps me stand up. My body feels weak, my legs feel like they are about to cave under my weight. I make it to my bed and sit down. I put my head in my hands for a moment, letting my hair fall around my face before looking back at Damon.

"With everything that has been going on, I don't want this to sound completely crazy." I say to him. The thing that I am concerned about is seeing if Damon believes what I am going to say next.

"Elena, you were just on your knees screaming out in pain, your body even began shaking for a minute there. I'm willing to take an answer here if you have an idea because that; what just happened, I almost couldn't pull you out of it. I was trying so hard to reach you but I felt like I was being blocked. I finally broke through though and was able to reach your mind. Where ever your mind was, it was like a dream state." Damon says this. I can her the concern in his voice when he talks about almost not being able to get to me. He always manages to save me though.

"That's the thing Damon. My head that is. I'm not too sure, its just a hunch but I think that you have gone into my head so many times that we're somehow connected. What just happened, it was emotions that felt like they were literally pulling and tearing me apart. It wouldn't stop."

"Elena, how would you know that they're mine?" I can hear the hesitation that Damon has.

"The anguish, the anger, resentment, hatred. Every horrible emotion that would fuel someone to have a vendetta was there. There was also guilt and remorse in with all of it Damon." I say the last part, I know that Damon doesn't want me to know these things. "They all came crashing over me in different increments, each one with a different feeling than the one before. It was over a 100 years of pent up emotions. It made my body and mind feel like it was going to rupture."

Damon is quiet. I'm scared of how he's going to react.

"I'm sorry Elena." With his words I can feel a humming of guilt underneath my emotions. Right now, the only thing that I can think about is Damon. Nothing but concern is washing over me, making his emotions weaker than mine at the moment. I know that it isn't his fault what is happening.

"Damon, before you decide to blame yourself or feel guilty, which you can't hide from me. I need to say this." Determination comes over me very quickly. In this moment I make my decision. "I know what just happened was bad. I know that you probably wont want to be around me anymore because of this, just because you don't want to let me in. I don't care about any of that though. I don't want you to go away just because of tonight. I don't want you to go back to being cold or distant Damon. I want _this._" I move my right hand back and forth in-between the distance of our bodies. "I want you to be around me." I want you. The words dance on the tip of my tongue and I try to desperately to hold them back. I can feel the connection surging between us. Damon is holding his words back but I can still feel his energy.

"I don't want this to happen again." My heart sinks, I don't want him to give up.

"I'm not scared Damon." The truth is that I'm not. I know now that I'll be safe with him. I'm hoping that whatever this is will help he realize that I mean it.

"If we're going to be around each other, we need to figure out exactly what this is. I don't want that to happen to you again. I haven't spent my time as a vampire really researching anything at all, I had better things to do, so I might need some time to see exactly what this might be."

My heart swells with the words. I was scared that he'd be like Stefan and run away. He's not Stefan though, I remind myself of that. I smile lightly at the thought. Damon walks over to the window, getting ready to leave.

"Don't leave me." The words whimper out of my mouth before I can stop them. Damon pauses, looking back over his shoulder. We both know that what I said means so much more. He knows that I'm not referring to right now.

"I wont." Damon disappears out of the window leaving me in my room. I know that he will be back though.

**

* * *

**

Damon Salvatore stopped outside of the Gilbert House for just a moment. Taking in everything that had just happened. He knew that if is heart was still beating it would have ripped through his chest a moment ago. There was so much going on that he didn't know about. More importantly though, he was worried about Elena. _I don't want to hurt her. _To him the words sounded so much more like his brother than himself. He knew that it was just because he isn't used to this. Used to caring.

Damon clenched his teeth at the thought. The girl that he swore he would never care about at all, made him feel something that no one else had. _Not even Katherine. _Damon stopped at the thought. Elena made Damon feel something else, something on the opposite end of what Katherine did. Damon tried to shake it off as he began running to the boarding house.

Damon reached the doors to the boarding house. He knew that he had to talk to Stefan. Damon reached the bottom of the stairs, peering in through the window to the cell he saw Stefan sitting on the ground, his head looking down to the earth. Damon opened up the cellar door.

"Stefan." Damon said to him. Stefan didn't make any movements at all, sitting there as still as a statue. The blood on his white wife beater now a crimson color dried into the fabric. "Stefan." Damon repeats getting a little irritated.

"I can smell her on you." Stefan says, his voice low.

Damon freezes, his words caught in his mouth. Now that he was down here, he didn't know what he was expecting to say to Stefan or what Stefan was going to say.

"I don't know what you have been doing Damon but I swear if you have been touching her…" Stefan says as he looks up from the ground, his dark eyes piercing.

Damon cuts Stefan off, reverting back to his usual attitude. "Oh get over yourself and her. I haven't been touching her. I came down here to see if you wanted anything to drink." _Well that plan completely fell through, it looks like I will have to do this the hard way. _Damon thought inwardly as he tried not to roll his eyes at Stefan. He forgot how irritating he can be.

"Not right now." Stefan says, moving his eyes back down to the ground.

"All right well you enjoy your brooding and eternal agony. I'll be upstairs if you change your mind." Damon walks out of the cell, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

"When I'm better Damon, you'll stay away from her."

_We'll see. _


	16. Chapter 15

Damon knew that Stefan would eventually be more of a problem. _If Stefan makes it out of this fine, I can lose Elena. _A light shiver ran down his spine, something that he hadn't felt in a long time. Damon knew that the thought shouldn't bother him but it did. Damon knew that with everything that had been going on that Elena would probably be stubborn and run back to Stefan the moment that he was ok. _Stefan is less of a monster than I am, of course she'll pick Stefan. _The fact that he was even considering Elena choosing between them, or that he even cared was driving him crazy.

_I wont lose her. _

Damon went into the kitchen, with a new found determination. He needed more time, that he was certain of, with Stefan getting better by the day. Damon opened up the fridge where there was a bottle of animal blood sitting on the top shelf. He opened up the cap, setting the bottle down on the counter. Damon looked around the kitchen until he found the tiny bottle of vervain extract that was in the back of one of the cabinets. Damon shrugged lightly as he twisted off the small cork and poured the contents into the animal blood. Knowing that Stefan would probably be able to smell the vervain, he opted for another solution.

Damon pulled one of the bags of human blood out of the fridge. He pulled the bag up to his mouth, making a small puncture wound with his teeth in the plastic. A small drop of the human blood entered his mouth. Most blood tasted the same to him now, not the bitter taste of copper when he was human, but just a light sweet taste and nothing more. He pulled the bag away from his mouth, placing the puncture of the bag over the opening of the bottle filled with animal blood. Damon tipped the bag, letting a few drops of the crimson liquid into the bottle. Just enough to effect Stefan and enough to mask the smell of the vervain to him. Damon closed the lid on the water bottle and walked back down to the cellar.

Stefan had yet to move from his spot. Damon rolled his eyes at how Stefan was trying to Martyr himself. The ring that Stefan usually wore was now on the floor beside him. The silver standing out against the dim light of the cellar. Damon threw the bottle through the small bars on the window of the door.

"I know you're trying to do this self sacrifice, martyr, routine, but drinking nothing at all will just make this worse. If you ever want to see Elena's bright smiling face again you should probably drink that." Damon knew that his words would eventually convince Stefan to drink from the bottle. Granted he was also sure the bottle would sit on the floor for a good few hours before Stefan decided to stop being so self righteous about everything. Damon left Stefan down in the cellar as he went up to the study.

_There has got to be something in all of this crap up here. _Damon started rummaging through the book titles of the books that were collecting dust on the shelves. Some of these books were picked up by Stefan when he decided to spend his time learning about Vampires instead of actually being one. Damon's eyes rested on a book that was written in Italian. _Bevitore di Sangue. _In English it read, Drinker of Blood. Damon didn't recognize the book. He pulled the book off of the shelf. The book was once a bright red but now its color had faded with time making it a light red almost orange. The writing on the front was engraved in silver. Damon opened up the book looking for an author but there was nothing. The writing on the inside was all hand written. Damon's face became a little confused as he began to wonder where Stefan could have picked this book up from.

With opening the book a light musty smell rolled off of the pages. Damon began to skim through the writing realizing that this was a journal. The beginning of the journal was mostly ramblings about being turned into a vampire and the cravings that came with it. The person who had written this had been turned with no one to guide him. Towards the middle of the book Damon noticed that his ramblings had changed to him talking about a girl. The infatuation with the girl grew, then one night the vampire noticed that he could enter her dreams. Damon took the book with him over to the couch that sits in front of the fireplace as he continued to read.

The writings went on about it until it started talking about the girl.

_She was in pain last night, again. Her voice cutting through the air when she would scream. I feel so much pain for her. Its new to me. The more that I feel it though, I notice the more that she feels it too. I have heard of an older woman, one who uses some sort of craft, that can tell me what this is. I need to find her. I need this to stop. _

Damon skimmed through the pages looking for more information.

_I have found the woman. She lives alone on the outskirts of town. There is an essence about her that I can tell she if different. I have asked her about the girl and about how I have seemed to enter her mind. This woman seems to know a great deal about it. I can't write it down right now. I must go tell Adelina. I will write this down though; the woman, she called it __**il collegamento di anime. **_

"Connection of souls." Damon whispered as he barely held the book in his hand. Thinking back Damon had heard of this term before but since it was never really relevant to him he pushed it back to the edges of his mind.

There were a few cases in history when a vampire and a human would become connected. Some of them threw different means but it all resulted in the same thing. The vampires emotions would become connected to the human. The would be able to feel each other.

_I have a moment to write. il collegamento di anime__**, **__it means that she is my other half. The true missing piece to me. My soul is forever connected to hers._

Damon continued reading through the journal. He got to the end of it. The girl, his Adelina died from the connection.

_The emotions proved to be too much for her. I do not know how I will continue on without my beautiful. I wanted so much for her to be with me but I could never bring myself to change her and now I will never see her again. _

_I will see the sunrise tomorrow. I will not go on without her. I would rather be ashes than to live in this world as a monster knowing that I could have saved her._

It was the last entry in the book. Damon closed the book trying to wrap his head around everything. Damon had always thought, from the first time that he had heard about it that it was a myth made up for vampires like Stefan to give them a purpose. Thinking that one day that they may find that one person.

Damon knew that he was going to have to go break the news to Elena and show her the journal to prove it to her. He wasn't too sure how she was going to react, having to tell the girl that is in love with his brother, that she is actually connected to him instead.

Damon went back down in the cellar. Stefan was laying on the ground, his body looking more pale. The once filled bottle was now laying empty on the ground. Faint traces of red still lingering on the sides of the plastic. Damon walked over to Stefan. Bending over Damon reached for the ring on the ground.

"I'll just be borrowing this for a little while." With that Damon slipped the ring onto his finger leaving Stefan back down in the cellar.

_I need to see Elena. _


	17. Chapter 16

AN: This one is kinda short. Hopefully it will be worth it though. Thanks again for the reviews :)

* * *

With Damon being far away from me, I'm starting to feel sick. My body temperature drops a little bit. My hands become clammy. I wipe them against the denim of my pants in attempts to get rid of the moisture. I honestly don't know what's going on. I'm debating about if I should tell Damon. It could just be a cold though, right? A cool breeze comes in through my open window and the white curtains sway lightly against it. I turn around to start pacing around my room. When I face my window again I see Damon standing there. Immediately my body begins to warm up and a smile comes across my face.

"You don't look so well." Damon says. I hear the genuine concern in his voice.

"Its probably just a cold." I say, shrugging it off.

"No its not. Oh God, I didn't think it would start happening this fast. You're stronger than this, you have to be." I get the feeling that Damon really isn't talking to me at this point but more to himself.

"What's happening Damon?" He must have figured something out. I scan him over and notice the faded red book that he has clenched, knuckles white, in his left hand.

"I know what is happening to you." I wait for Damon to respond. I raise my eyebrows questioningly at him. "Its…um…a connection…" Damon moves the book from each hand, back and forth. I have never seen him like this before. A wave of concern washes over me and I know its not just my emotions. Its like a loud buzzing through my mind and body. I move my right hand up to my temple, pressing my finger tips against it. I close my eyes trying to focus. I open them back up to look at Damon.

"Look you're probably not going to like this, because I sure as hell don't like the repercussions of it. We're connected. Our souls are at least. Somehow they became connected. Everything you're feeling is what I'm feeling also. Its all here in this book. They call it _il collegamento di anime. _Which is Italian for connection of souls." Damon's voice manages to come out even at the words that he is saying.

My mind stops. I completely stop breathing for a moment. Out of impulse I grab the book out of Damon's hand. I start flipping through the pages looking for major key words. After I get past the part where the vampire visit's the old women, I read about the girl. The girl that he was in love with. It wasn't just the fact that he had entered her mind. That wasn't what made them connected. They were meant to be together. She was his other half.

I'm trying to wrap my head around it. Damon? I'm meant for Damon?

The thought doesn't scare me. Its just not what I was expecting. I mean…I know I have feelings for Damon. I realized that. I wasn't sure where me and him were heading but now I have a much clearer idea.

I keep reading on, biting my lip as I keep thinking about Damon while trying to concentrate on reading the passages. As the pages progress the girl, Adelina gets worse and worse. I notice that some of her symptoms were no different form my own a few moments ago. I keep reading, in hopes that there is a happy ending for them. There isn't though. He wouldn't turn her. He wouldn't _save _her. The book shuts in my hand as I realize that the same thing will happen to me.

"Damon…I'm scared." I say and I notice that my bottom lips is trembling. I look up into his eyes as mine begin to become hazy from the liquid that is filling them up.

In one swift movement Damon is right in front of me. Damon grabs my waist pulling it into his, his lips crash down on mine. It doesn't take me long to react. I put one hand on his back and the other one moves up through his black hair wrapping my fingers in it, pulling him in closer to me. I can feel a rush coming into my body. I can feel his want and need for me. I kiss him back with as much passion as he is showing me. Showing that I need him too. His lips move fiercely with mine, but are soft against my own. I feel his tongue run across my bottom lip. I part my lips granting him access inside. His tongue moves with mine, everything seems in sync. Damon pulls me closer as the same time that I push myself harder against him. I can't seem to get enough. The fear that I had a moment ago seems to be gone. I can feel my body heating up with desire though. Pure ecstasy runs through my veins as I am entangled in his kiss. I'm completely lost in him. I want to lose myself forever if this is what it means. I've never had just pure raw pleasure come over me.

Damon breaks away from me, resting his forehead against mine as he cups my face in his hands. I look up into his eyes longingly as my breathing is still rapid from his lips touching mine. My heartbeat is still fluttering.

"We'll figure something out, I promise." This time Damon leans down closer to me. His lips hovering barely an inch away from mine. I lean up into him so my lips meet his. The kiss is slow and soft. His lips feel like petals against my own. My heart starts pounding even harder now. The kiss feels like it is enough to break me. Damon sense this and breaks away from me. I can't help but be saddened by it. "I wont let anything happen to you." I believe that he will try to find away but a part of me feels like I will end up the same.


	18. Chapter 17

Stefan is better now but he hasn't come to see me yet. Damon told him that I need time. Which is true. I need to figure out how to tell him everything. To tell him that I don't love him. I've been completely avoiding the boarding house like it's the plague. Damon has been spending almost every moment with me, of course he doesn't tell Stefan where he goes. I think that Stefan may have an idea though. He brings over books from the boarding house. We both spend time going through the dusty pages looking for an answer. I'm sitting up on my bed as Damon is laying on his side. His brows are furrowed as he reads from one of the many books. I smile lightly looking at his features.

Its been a few days since Damon kissed me.

I constantly think about it though. Every moment that I am not looking at these endless words written on these pages, I think about his lips on mine. Thinking about it now, my body gets warm as my cheeks turn a light pink as all of the blood rushes to them. I try harder to concentrate on the blank ink of a jumbled mess on these pages. My mind keeps going back to his lips. I let me hair fall back from behind my ears to in front of my face to try to hide the color spreading across my face.

"Are you ok?" I should have realized that Damon can sense my increased heart beat. I nod with a "yes" motion instead of talking, terrified that my voice will give it away.

Damon's hand reaches up to me. He puts the strands of my loose hair behind my ear, showing my face. I'm sure showing the flushed color. The moment that I feel his finger tips lightly brush my cheek, tracing where my cheek bone is, I take in a sharp breath. I look down at him, his face is so defined. I scan my eyes all over his features, trying to take everything in. I feel like I could spend forever looking at him and I would never truly see all of his beauty.

"What are you looking at?" Damon asks quietly, still running his finger tips lightly across my cheek. My skin burns where he touches me but I don't mind.

"You." I whisper to him, still looking down at him laying on his side.

"Why though?" He asks, no he has dropped his hand from my face. His hand is barely an inch away from mine resting on top of my blanket. My body screams at me to reach out and close that small gap between us. I move my hand the smallest bit closer to his. His finger tips almost touching my own.

"Because you're beautiful." it's the first time that I have said this out loud. The words don't surprise me though.

"It truly is funny how your mind changes now that you know what we have." Damon says smirking at me a little bit but there is a sadness behind it. I shake my head lightly at him, pressing my lips together before I speak again.

"I've always thought that you are beautiful Damon. From the moment that I met you." This is the part that surprises me. Of course I have always thought that Damon is beyond breathtaking, I just never thought that we would be sitting on my bed while I admit this to him. I look down at the book. I peak up through my eyelashes at him. There is a small smile playing at his lips. I can't help but smile at his beauty.

Damon sits up so he is sitting across from me now. He leans over, his lips so close to mine. I can feel a surge go through my body. I open my lips lightly, within a moment his lips are on mine.

Its what I haven't been able to get my mind off of. I can feel the connection between most when his lips are connected with mine. Its not in a bad way though, not like before the first time he kissed me. This is so different. Every moment that has been happy in my life is nothing compared to what I feel going between me and him.

Damon kisses me a little harder as he gets me to lay on my back. Damon is on top of me, one of his hands moves up my shirt just a inch. His hand wraps around my waist fiercely. His skin is soft against my own. Every he touches me though, the same burning feeling stays against my skin. Like embers searing into my flesh. I need more though. I move both of my hands up his black shirt, feeling his abs and his chest. I keep moving my hands up and down trying to feel every shape of him.

Damon moves an arm underneath my back. He pulls my body up into his with force as I hear a light growl escape his throat. I keep kissing him back with just as much as he is giving my as I move my hands across his back now. His lips move away from mine as he starts to kiss his way down my jaw line. He pauses right above my neck. My breathing is heavy at this point. I don't know why he stopped but before I have time to think he leans down and kisses the nape of my neck. A moan escapes my mouth the moment I feel him press down there. I grip onto his back with force, urging him to continue.

"Damon." I whisper out his name so lightly, I know that he'll hear me though. He continues to kiss my neck as his hands make their way up my shirt. I can feel his hunger, most of it is my own though. My hunger for him.

Damon pulls away suddenly, his hands stop moving. He looks up at the ceiling. "You have got to be fucking kidding me." The words come out of his mouth in a low growl. Damon rolls off of me, now sitting on the edge of my bed. My mind is spinning in confusion.

"Damon, what's wrong?" I ask. A thousand different thoughts start running through my head. Then there's a knock at my door.

"Elena?" I hear Stefan's voice on the other side of my door. I mouth the words 'Oh God" as Damon waves his hand at the door, obviously not amused.

"Can you stay?" I plead to Damon. There's no point to whisper it, Stefan will hear.

"Seriously?" Damon asks agitated as he stands up. I nod my head yes, looking up at him. "Fine." Damon says giving into me, throwing his hands up in defeat. Its not just the fact that Stefan's here. I haven't told Damon but every time now that he isn't near me, my whole body feels weak. I even got a temperature yesterday. I haven't told him yet though because I don't want him to worry. He's been trying so hard to try to find something to fix this even though I know that he can't

I get up off of my bed, making my way to my door. I open up my door. Stefan looks a lot better than he did two weeks ago. Stefan looks between me and Damon. I look back at Damon the same time that Stefan is looking at him. Damon gives Stefan a 'What?' kind of look. Stefan tries to ignore it.

"I know that you haven't wanted to see me Elena but can we talk?" His voice screams out a thousand regrets behind his words. You can always hear the remorse in his voice.

"Right now?" I ask. I try to concentrate at the situation at hand but my body knows that Damon is in the room and its crying out for him to have his hands on me.

"I don't see why not, this is really important." I step aside and let Stefan come into the room. I know that I'm irritated, even though I am trying not to be. I close the door behind him. "Damon do you think that you could go?" Stefan asks once he is in the room.

"I don't think so little brother, Elena asked me to stay." Stefan looks at me confused. I sigh in frustration. I don't want to deal with them bickering. I also don't want to have to deal with what is going to happen next.

"I have asked Damon to stay. Can you really blame be Stefan? After what happened the last time that I was with you?" There is an anger behind my words that I can't seem to control.

"You're right and that's what I came here to talk to you about. I'm better now Elena. The whole time that I was down in that cellar I only thought about you, only you. There were so many times that I wanted to give up and just let myself die but I never could actually do it. I couldn't do it because I know that you would never give up on me. You never gave up on me Elena."

Guilt immediately washes over me. I have a feeling that Damon is smirking as he is leaning against my dresser behind me. At the same time though I can feel the connection between us. Like an invisible force pulling me towards him. I try not to concentrate on it.

"Stefan.." I try to say to him but he cuts me off.

"You've been the only person to never give up on me. I didn't want to do that to you." I'm trying to hard to listen to his words. My mind is far gone though. Damon is purposely sending different emotions to me. After what just happened between me and him on the bed, its making this that much harder. That much harder trying to listen to Stefan apologize to me. I bite my bottom lip as I feel the desire come over me. My eyes aren't even looking at Stefan anymore, I'm gazing far off into the distance.

"Elena…Elena?" I can hear Stefan trying to break through to me. Damon lightly laughs in the background breaking my thoughts of his body against mine. I snap out of it looking back at Stefan.

"Hmm?" I completely forgot why Stefan was here for a moment. Stefan's dark eyes travel back and forth between me and Damon. I can see the realization crossing his features.


	19. Chapter 18

AN: I can't sleep. I need to sleep though because I need to wake up for the new episode tonight and then get ready for work. Ugh. I wish my mind would let me sleep, but it wont so I type this up. Oh and all of this comes out as I go along, none of it is planned out. Good idea or bad idea lol. To answer a question, yes this probably will turn into an M rated story later on. Thanks again for all of the support and great reviews.

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I can see the look of horror cross Stefan's face. Horror, yeah I think that's what it is. It quickly switches to anger though.

"I should have known. I can smell him all over you Elena!" Stefan snaps, moving his hand up in the air as an over exaggerated gesture. Damon steps in front of me quickly as to place a barrier between Stefan and I. Can he really smell Damon on me after just a kiss?

"Now Stefan.." Damon puts both of his hands up in front of him as a defensive move as he tries to talk to Stefan.

"I don't want to hear it Damon. You knew she was venerable! You took advantage of her!" Stefan is still screaming. I pray that Aunt Jenna isn't listening, even though I know she is.

"I know that I don't have the best track record, but do you really think that's what this is?" Damon asks and I can hear the undertone of anger in his voice.

"You must have compelled her. Elena would never do this. And you Damon, I should have known better than to ever trust you with her. I should have remembered the promise that you made to me."

"Stefan, for once this really isn't about you." Damon spits out at him. Damon and Stefan are just a few inches apart. Damon looking down on Stefan. I can see the fire burning between the two of them.

Stefan sidesteps Damon quickly so he is in front of me now. Stefan grabs both of my arms squeezing me tightly. My eyes widen at his grip. "Oh God, you aren't wearing your necklace. Elena do you remember who I am? Do you remember what we had?" Stefan is searching in my eyes. I don't know what he's looking for though. A piece of the Elena that once loved him? She isn't here though and she never will be.

I sigh, wiggling my way out of Stefan's grasp and taking a step back. Damon is now standing behind him.

"Stefan listen to me. Damon never compelled me. I don't think that he ever would. There's a lot that you need to understand. You hurt me Stefan, you almost killed Amber…"

Stefan cuts me off, his words spitting with rage. "Damon has killed hundreds of people!" He moves his arm back behind him pointing at Damon, once again using his hands to speak. I wince at his words. I know that he's right.

"I know that Stefan but there's also a side to Damon that you don't see. I know what he has done has been horrible and I admit that's the part that scares me about him. The thing is though, I can't help to be drawn in. There's something about him that pulls me towards him. Like is a force that pulls me to him and the universe is screaming at me to be near him. When he isn't around me, I feel empty and sick. I know it's a lot, but there's so much more to it than that. The part about that though is that, I don't mind it. I'll take the pain as long as I can be around him because when I am, he's the million starts that light up my sky showing me hope. There's always been something about Damon, it just took me a while to realize it." I let all of the worlds flow out, things that I have had pent up for days that I have been trying to work up the courage to say to Damon.

I hear Damon whisper, "Il collegamento di sangue."

Stefan's mouth becomes slightly agape from shock. I can't help but to feel sorry for him as he looks back at Damon in disbelief. Damon nods his head yes trying for further recognition of what's going on. Stefan looks at the books on the bed, and the few on the floor that fell of when Damon kissed me. I blush at the thought even though I know now is not the time. I see a flare of violence begin to erupt in Stefan.

Stefan rushes Damon, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. "You did this on purpose."

Damon quickly removes Stefan's hands but doesn't push him back like I thought he would. "You know that isn't how this works." Damon doesn't even sound angry anymore. I can sense that all of his hate is gone at this moment. Stefan backs away from Damon knowing that it's the truth. I want so much to apologize to Stefan but I don't know what a simple sorry would do in this situation. Stefan turns back to me, his dark chocolate eyes showing grief.

"You belong to Damon now." The words hit me hard. They mean so much more than the small sentence that they come out in.

Damon walks over to Stefan as he pulls his silver ring off of his finger. Damon holds it out to Stefan as Stefan clamps it in the palm of his hand.

"I always knew you would be able to protect her more than I ever could." With those last words Stefan walks out of my room, shutting the door behind him.

I feel like I should be more sad or show more concern but the love that I once had for Stefan is completely gone. I just want him to be ok though. I look over at Damon who's face is perfectly still. I can feel his emotions running rapid though. I try to push them to the back of my mind in an attempt to make them the buzzing sound that they normally are these days.

"This isn't how I expected you to act." I admit to Damon.

"What were you expecting?" Damon asks, finally looking into my eyes. I move a little bit closer to him. I can feel a mildly cold sensation run across my body from Damon's emotions. I try to push it aside as I shiver lightly.

"If this would have been a few months ago, for you to be laughing and claiming a big victory speech."

Damon laughs at my words. His voice a sweet note in the air. I smile up at him, feeling my body warm up from the joy spreading throughout my body from his laughter.

"Maybe so but I actually feel sorry for him."

My smile disappears as I hear this. I'm beyond curious to know Damon's thoughts behind this.

"Why?' I ask simply.

"Because he lost you." Damon says. His light blue eyes looking into mine. I feel like they can burn their way into my soul. Something that I would gladly allow at this moment. I move closer to Damon. I lean up to him, brushing my lips lightly against his. At the same moment I inhale the air around me. The essence of Damon is intoxicating. It fills up every part of me with ecstasy. My head gets light from the action that I just took. I smile though, it feels like a high. I stumble backwards lightly. Damon catches me, a confused look on his face. I pull myself in closer to him, my hands gripping his black shirt as I take in another breath, feeling more intoxicated this time.

"Elena." His voice is so harmonizing. I smile again and bite my bottom lip. I can feel the high from hearing his voice coursing through my veins. it's the most intense thing I have ever experience but I don't want it to stop. I lean into him, letting my lips brush his one more time. My body becomes overwhelmed as I feel myself begin to fade.


	20. Chapter 19

AN: Holy fucking God. That episode last night was EPIC(minus Stefan). Damon telling Isobel to not threaten Elena. Isobel mentioning to Elena that Damon is in love with her and Damon doing a face where he side glances at Stefan to see how Stefan is reacting and Stefan is all -.- I busted up laughing and I screamed like a 12 year old girl at a Miley Cyrus concert when Stefan confronted Damon trying to be the Jealous boyfriend. I can't wait for the season finale. Team Delena all the way. OH BTW, if you didn't notice, the rating for this story is now rated M for Mature content. Please take that into consideration if you are not comfortable with M rated material. Thank you again for the reviews. I need to stop neglecting my boyfriend now.

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My mind begins to come back to this place. The feeling that I had a moment ago seems to slip from my fingertips. I frown, my eyes closed. I can tell that I am on my bed. I take my hands and grip my sheets pulling them up lightly. I can feel Damon sitting on the bed next to me. I smile knowing that he is there. I feel him move on the bed. In the next moment I can feel him getting positioned so he is on top of me. His arms on either side of me. I bite my bottom lip as I try not to smile too much. I don't open my eyes though. I just feel him there. I can sense his face moving closer to mine. His mouth opens and I can feel his sweet breath roll across my face. I breathe in, taking it all in. The rush that I got before I'm assuming was a small black out comes back to me.

"How could I know that you would take my breath away?" I ask Damon as I open my eyes. I look up into his, his eyes look so alive for the first time. I smile even wider now. Damon leans down into me, I can feel his body lightly pressed against me. For a moment I think that he is going to lean in just a little bit closer to have his lips against mine, instead he moves his head to the side. Letting his lips feel like feathers against my hot skin. I arch my back in pleasure.

Then is happens. I can feel Damon's emotions mix with my own. I try not to focus on it but there is one standing out against all the rest. I push aside my emotions too or try as best as I can as I still feel Damon trailing kisses along my neck and jaw line.

I can feel his whole existence aching as my body burns against him.

He can feel it too? My eyes widen a bit in shock.

"Damon?" I ask. A part of me is already slapping myself mentally for stopping him right now. Damon moves so his face is just inches from mine.

"The connection right now, I'm feeling something." Damon doesn't say anything as he is waiting for me to say more. "I can feel my body burning against yours. I've felt your touch incinerate my skin so many times. I don't mind it though, I welcome it. Does it feel the same for you?" I feel kind of ridiculous but at the same time curious to know.

"Elena, you're the only person, even what I was alive, that it felt like my skin was burning when they touched me. Just the lightest touch from you can leave that spot on my body warm. It must be apart of all of this. As for anything else, no I can't feel the full extent of everything that is going on with you, I only have your touch."

I lean up into Damon, placing my lips on his. He kisses back with an urgency. I run my hands up his shirt feeling the definition of his muscles. His tongue slides in my mouth. I push my hips into him. I run my hands down his chest and to his waist line. I lightly run my fingertips across the waistband of his dark jeans. After running my fingers there, I slowly trace my fingers down slowly to his thighs.

Damon runs a hand up underneath my shirt. In one swift motion I can feel my bra being unhooked in the back. We never once break away from each other.

Damon has one arm keeping himself positioned as his other hand slowly moves up my shirt. Damon's hand rests right underneath my breast. I take in a sharp breath, my heart beating like the flutter of wings. He's seeing how I react. He moves his hand up just a little further. His hand firmly grasps my breast, my breathing begins to increase at his touch. His finger tips making a small circular motion around my nipple, getting me more aroused.

His mouth is demanding. His tongue is forceful but I'm unyielding as I kiss back with just as much impact. The momentum picks up. I run my fingers up to the button on Damon's jeans. I quickly undo the button moving my fingers down to the zipper. I slide a hand inside of his jeans over his boxers. I can already feel the length of him hard against the cloth. Damon moves his lips swiftly to my neck kissing it passionately. I feel him bite down lightly, nothing to break my skin though. The feeling is incredible though. His tongue moves up across my neck.

I feel like I am going to collapse beneath him.

I slip my fingers through the opening in his boxers. I bite my lip in surprise. I run my hand up and down the length of him. I can feel him thick in my hand. My body wants to shake but I try my hardest to keep myself composed. I stoke my hands against him a little faster as his jeans slip down his waist. I slip him through the slit in his boxers. I look down and open my eyes widely. I look back up at Damon who is smirking at me. I grin as I continue to feel him hard in my hands.

Damon slides off my jeans and now there is nothing between us but a small piece of lace. His finger tips run across the front of the lace. He starts rubbing my clit through the thin fabric. I can feel myself getting wet from his touch. I moan quietly as his fingers continue.

The lace rips with a loud scream. Mostly because I am too aware of what is going on. I see the lace out of the corner of my eye get tossed onto the floor. I move my hands back up to his chest now. Damon pauses as I can feel him right at my lips. I look into his eyes as he's staring down into mine. I can feel that this is so much more to him right now, just like it is for me.

Damon runs the tip of himself across my lips and I close my eyes as I feel him against my skin. I can feel my wetness run on top of him as he continues to slowly run himself up and down my entrance. A second later I feel him push himself in. I gasp and my eyes widen as I get used to him in me. He starts out slow, for my benefit, trying to get used to his size. His momentum picks up as he thrusts himself inside of me, pushing, in and out. My breathing speeds up significantly.

He feels so different in the most incredible way. My body fills up with warmth every time he moves in me. I run my hands around his back and dig my nails in. Damon takes this as an initiative to go faster. I arch my back allowing for more pleasure from him. With every motion I can feel every part of him. I let everything go except for my ecstasy mixed with his. I can feel myself getting lightheaded like I did earlier. I concentrate though, not allowing that to happen.

Moans are escaping my lips every few seconds now. I've never felt anything this amazing. His thrusts are becoming more frequent. I move my hips with him increasing the speed a little bit more. I hear a few moans comes from his lips. The sound is harmonizing and sends me closer at the same time. I toss my head back and my hair flips back on top my pillow as rapture escapes me. I can feel Damon's warmth fill up inside of me as his last few thrusts slow down. I'm breathing heavily now as Damon presses his forehead down to mine.

I can feel him pulling at my heartstrings and the traction between us.


	21. Chapter 20

AN: Ugh sorry for the lack of updates. Real life takes up too much of my time -.- Thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews

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I know where I am but I don't know why.

The trees are dead and the air is biting at my skin with cold. I look up to see the starless sky.

It shouldn't be this way. I just had the most amazing night and now here I am without him. I beg for him to come into my dream.

Its like he knows. Within moments I can hear a crow. I look up to the sky waiting for it to light up but nothing happens. I look around me, I can only see a few feet out in front of me. The wind starts to pick up making the air even colder.

He flies down towards me but he doesn't change. Instead the crow bursts into nothing but feathers right there. My hand move to the ground where the feathers are now laying. I put my hand to the ground where they are but the area filled with feathers turns into a gray dust in my hands. My eyes widen in shock as I scream out his name. I can hear a female's voice whisper in the wind as it carries itself to me.

"Elena…" My heart beat picks up. I can faintly hear something in the forest.

_Wake up, wake up, wake up. _

I keep repeating it to myself in a desperate attempt that it will actually work.

The wind stops and everything falls silent. I stand there motionless. The area falls completely dark. I can't see anything. I can feel someone behind me.

"Damon…" I whisper out even though I saw the crow die. A single tear slides down my cheek. My hands begin to shake and I try to keep myself steady. I feel a hand grasp around my throat. My breath escapes me. I try to call out his name one more time but the hand around my throat tightens. I close my eyes letting more tears escape my eyes.

"He wont be able to save you." The same female voice is who's hand is around my throat. I can hear the smile in her voice. My hearts pounding in my chest with my blood racing. The last breath I was holding in escapes me. My eyes widening as I realize I can't take any air in.

I sit up in my bed, my heart still racing.

"Elena!" I look next to me and on the bed is Damon, his face filled with worry. I throw my arms around him and bury my face into his chest. I can feel where the tears were falling when I was asleep, they're now pressed against his bear chest. He has one arm wrapped around my back while his other hand is stroking my hair. A small sense of calm comes over me now that I am back in his arms.

"You weren't there." I whisper to him, trying to collect myself enough to make my voice even.

"I know I wasn't but I couldn't get to you. Its like there was something blocking me from getting in." His voice is so perfect. I try hard to concentrate on it. "Did anything happen?" I shake my head lightly, my face still buried in his chest.

"You just weren't there." I'm lying and I feel guilty for it.

I can't tell him about her.

I wont tell him that it was Katherine in my dream.

I move my face away from his chest. I lean up into him pushing my lips against his. Damon grabs me by my waist as he lightly picks me up and sets me on his lap. I ran my hands through his hair as he kisses me harder. Damon breaks away suddenly.

"I hate to do this to you but I have somewhere I have to be today. There is possibly a book that can give us more information about our unique situation. Will you be ok here today?" He brushes my hair behind my ear as I smile lightly at him. I want to tell him no, that all of this is hopeless and to stay with me in bed all day wrapped up in his arms.

"I'll be fine." Another twinge of guilt comes to me as I continue to lie. Of course I wont be ok. I know that I'll get sick. I know that I'll be able to feel the distance between us. I know that I'll be able to feel myself dying. There is this part of me that even though all of this is happening to me that I want to protect Damon form worrying about me.

I know it sounds crazy but Damon has changed so much. Well not completely. He is still a complete cocky jerk to everyone except for me. He still has that attitude that makes it him. My smile grows at the thought of him. The thought that this side of Damon is all mine, the side that no one else sees. The side that belongs just to me. I completely forget for a moment that I had just lied to him multiple times.

My intention are good but I don't know if they are always the best. Just like with Jeremy. I sigh at the thought because that's obviously been working out so well.

"I promise I will be back before the nightfall."

I watch him as he leaves as I still sit in my bed. The moment that he is gone I remember Katherine. My shiver goes down my back as I remember her voice. I don't know if it was my dream or if it was actually her. That's the part that scares me. What also scares me is that if it was her, and that if Damon finds out that I can lose him. I can't lose him, I know that I wont be able to handle it. I'll die without him.

I know that Damon is already outside of town. I know this because this is the sickest that I have been. My palms are starting to sweat as my body temperature is rising. All the energy I had has already disappeared from my body. My body is screaming at me to rest but I wont let myself fall asleep. I don't want to risk going back to Katherine. I'm going to have to wait the day out.

* * *

I walk down the stairs and to the front door. Aunt Jenna is in the living room working on a presentation.

"Whoa, you're looking a little pale. Are you ok?" I know that what she is saying is an understatement. I saw myself already, I'm beyond pale. My skin looks as if all the color completely faded from it. Even though my skin is hot, my cheeks wont even flush with color.

"Yeah just feel a little sick. I'm just going to go to the grill to pick up some food to bring back home." I say as I head for the door. I need something to pass the time and I don't want to risk laying in my bed.

"Ok be careful." She says as her fingers continue typing on her laptop.

I get to The Grill. Like always the setting inside is dark, illuminated lightly by the lamps around the eating area. I walk up to the bar to order something but the bartender isn't there. I look over to my left to see Alaric. His face is stern as I see him talking to a women with black hair pulled back into a ponytail. I become curious as I watch his facial expressions change. I can tell there is an anger to the words that he is saying to her. Alaric gets up from the bar, storming his way to the front door, he disappears out into the day.

The woman turns around and I recognize her immediately. Her skin is paler than the picture that I saw. Her make up is dark to match with her hair. Also to match with her new lifestyle and personality. Her eyes are dark too and no longer full of life like the photos that I have seen had captured her. A sadistic grin comes to her lips as she looks at me. My mouth is slightly open in shock.

"Hello Elena." Her voice is smooth like velvet. I can't let that fool me though. I need to remember what she is.

"Isobel." I collect myself quickly, pushing aside how my body is feeling.

"Wow, you really do look just like Katherine." It's a name that I don't want to hear, a name that I am beyond sick of hearing.

"You know Katherine?" I should really know better. For some reason everyone has met Katherine at one point in their vampiric life.

"Of course I know Katherine. She's the one who gave me this." There is a necklace dangling around her neck. She points her long fingers to it that are shinning in the light with black nail polish.

"Why are you here?" I know that she is dangerous but I'm also getting tired of all of this.

"Well to see my daughter of course. I was curious to see what you looked like."

"No." My voice is stern, I surprise even myself. "That was only part of it. You heard that I looked like Katherine so that was just a small part and a sad excuse to talk to me. What do you want?"

"Well that's no way to talk to your mother but it seems that you know my kind too well. There is a device, an invention of…" I cut her off.

"I don't have the compass or watch or invention. Whatever you want to call it I don't have it." I move away from the bar to leave but she grabs my wrist tightly pulling me back to her.

"Of course you don't have it but Damon Salvatore does and you're going to get it for me." All the courage that I had built up a moment ago has disappeared.

"What makes you think that I can?"

"You look just like Katherine, I'm sure he'll give it to you without a problem." With that she lets go of my wrist. My skin is red and starting to bruise where her hand had been. "It was nice seeing you Elena." With that she walks away from the bar. I don't bother to watch her walk out. I keep my eyes focused in front of me. I know that I should be thinking about Isobel and about the watch but my mind keeps going to something else.

Is he only with me because I look like her?

I feel like my mind is always plagued with these thoughts. I try so hard to push them away and tell myself that Damon is different. That Damon wouldn't be the one to lie to me, he's the type that would be blunt and hurt my feeling right from the start then lie to me to protect me. That's why he's not Stefan. There's still that nagging part inside of me though that wonders how much he still loves her. He's been searching for her for over 100 years. What made me think that he would stop now? I know that he acts different towards me but is it just because I look like her. A big part of me refuses to believe it. This is why I wont tell him about the dream last night though. I guess its more to protect myself than anything. Protect myself from getting hurt.


	22. Chapter 21

I have to tell Damon, I can't do this alone. I run up the stairs as fast as my weakened body will let me. I rush to my bed where the old books are scattered at the foot of it. I get down on my knees rummaging through looking for the right one. I have gone through these books and journals countless times but I am hoping that there is something that I have skipped over somehow.

Damon and I don't talk about it but he knows that I am sick. How could he not? He has to be able to sense it in me some way. I don't know if he is aware of to the extent though.

Then I find it there among the other books. The journal that Damon first found out about our…situation. That seems like too harsh of a word. What should I call it? I mean I have very strong feelings for Damon and I can sense that he is a different person with me but there is that nagging in my mind that no matter how much I may care about Damon that he will never love me the way that he still loves Katherine. I realize the part of this that hurts so much is that I want him to love me because I love him.

I push hard to put the thought out of my mind. I start flipping through the faded yellow pages looking for the start of their connection. My eyes start skimming over the words looking for something to jump out. Then I find a passage that I haven't read before. I remember why I haven't even gotten through half of these. When Damon is here with me, I get so distracted by his beauty that I forgot why the books were even here. I start reading the passage putting all of my effort into concentrating on the words scribbled across the page.

_Her body is too frail to carry the weight of my world on her shoulders along with her own pain. When I am around, she seems so happy but I can feel the sickness seeping out of her pores. A new aroma has come to the scent that I once knew so well. This new scent is one that I recognize, one that I have encountered numerous times. Its death making her once beautiful smell sickly sweet. _

_I know what will stop all of this but I can not bring myself to take her human life away. I can't risk how she might turn out. _

_This connection between us is because she is suppose to be turned. She needs to be turned. Her body is begging for the transition but I wont give it to her. The old woman that I saw warned me of this. The longer that I deny her body and soul the transition the sicker she is going to get. There has to be another way. I have to find the time. _

_My presence soothes the death crawling all over her. It numbs it and almost makes it seem like its gone. When I am away though, that's when she is the worst. My soul can never be too far from her. If I still even have one. The old woman claims that I do but its hard to believe. I have been nothing but a monster in this new life, not deserving of the warmth that is promised to me by this human. _

_Her soul is calling out to me. Begging me to come to her. It takes every piece of me to restrain myself. I have never had someone's blood sing to me this much. I stop myself because I love her. Another nightmare just broke through again, I can hear the screams. I must go wake her. _

This is why I am so sick these days.

Damon must have read this passage. He knows what is happening to me. I don't believe that there is another choice.

My body wants to be turned to be with him, to be with Damon. Being a vampire is something that I have thought about over a hundred times. Not in this way though. It was never to be with Damon. I don't want to die but I don't know if I'm ready for what all of this is asking out of me.

I'm not too sure how much longer that I can last though with everything that is going on. With Isobel being in town for the compass. Isobel knows Katherine, I wouldn't doubt if Katherine sent her here.

If Damon turns me…if he does and then Katherine shows up. I'll end up alone. That's the thought that is really scaring me. I don't want to be a vampire and alone. I sit on my floor in utter defeat. My body slumps as I rest my back against my bed. The hot tears start falling down my cheeks. I put my face in my hands as the tears continue to stream. One of the tears slides down to my lips and I can taste the salt. I need Damon so much but I know that his love for Katherine is the greatest. That has to be what is stopping him from turning me. He doesn't want to end up with me. He is a different person with me but he will never love me in that way.

I don't even hear him come in my room. I feel myself being lifted off of the ground and pulled against him. His smell is familiar and brings a warm feeling to my body. I bury my face into his black cotton shirt. I wrap my arms around him putting them underneath his leather jacket. I hate that he has to see me this way but I can't deny my need for him. I lift my head off of his chest to look up into his immaculate eyes as they connect with mine. His eyes then dart over to the books on the floor. I see him look at the journal and the page that I had left it on.

"We'll find another way, I know this isn't what you want." Damon says to me as his hands run smoothly across my back.

"No Damon, its not what you want, you don't want this." I can't stop the words from coming out. He doesn't deny it though, he doesn't even say anything. We both stand here in silence until I decide that we need to go away from this topic. He isn't ready to talk about it and I'm not ready for the rejection. "Isobel saw me today, she wants the compass."

Damon pushes me away from him to have me at arms length. He looks into my eyes, my heart feels like it is on the verge of breaking looking into his liquid blue eyes.

"I'll take care of this, you don't need to be going through this. I promise you that I will protect you Elena." Damon says the words, I know that he means them.

"You wont give it to her." I say it as a statement, I already know that Damon wont hand it over.

"The compass is a part of a device to kill vampires. Of course I wont give it to her. I happy to enjoy living my undead life." The answer is all his personality coming out, the Damon that I have always known. "This is what I went looking for today, I haven't had a chance to take a look at it yet. it's a journal, this one is a lot different though. Luckily I had already heard of this journal and for some reason it was a lot easier to get than I thought it would be. It's from the first vampire. Why don't you look through it. I'm going to have to leave you again for a while." I don't want him to leave me again, he just got here.

"Where are you going?" Even thought I am sure that I already know the answer.

"I need to pay a visit to Isobel." I just nod in understanding. Damon lightly puts his hand underneath my chin, lifting my face up to look up at him. His eyes are looking down into mine, it seems like he is looking for something. He brings his lips down to mine. The softness of his lips touching mine sends a shiver through me, making my body feel more alive than it has all day. I push myself up against him intensifying the kiss. Damon's hand wrap around my waist putting more force into our kiss as my body is pressed up against his as tightly as it can be. I move my hands up into his raven black hair, tangling my fingers in the soft strands. My body is screaming out to him as I feel his name coursing through my veins. Damon breaks away, he puts his forehead against mine. I close my eyes, my lips still tingling from his touch. "I'll be back before you fall asleep." His fingertips brush against the side of my cheek lightly. I turn my face into his hand. I keep my eyes closed, the feeling of his hand disappears. I open my eyes to see my window open with the white curtains blowing in the breeze.


	23. Chapter 22

I sit on my bed with the journal in my hands. The edges of the book are frayed and torn. I peel back the cover to hear the binding creek. I'm expecting to see a forgotten writing but instead all of it is in English which confuses me since Damon said this is from the first vampire. I start from the beginning.

_I never thought that demons existed. I never believed the stories that floated around the villages. Then I met him, he looked just like anyone else but his beauty stood out above the rest. That's what drew me into him. We were alone and that's when he changed into something I didn't recognize. All of his teeth were razor sharp, his eyes turned black as his skin turned almost a grayish color. The veins in his body turned black, making them visible through his skin. Wings erupted through the skin on his back expanding the length of many trees together. He moved so fast that I didn't even see him coming towards me until I felt the piercing down on my flesh. My skin burned against his teeth. My vision went dark from there but I remember a strong foul taste in my mouth, the liquid was thick. My memory is gone after that. Now I look the same but there is a hunger in me all the time, so much that it burns my throat without a break. I look the same but I can not go out in the day. I spend my nights killing the people I once knew. There blood only satisfies me for a small time. _

At any other time I would have enjoyed reading more about this but I want to see what this has to do with me. I start skipping through the pages looking for any sign of something that will help. As I continue to read, I read her story of how she fell in love with a human. Not only was she the first vampire but she is the one who started all of this. I read about how the love of her life slowly starts to fade away until he finally dies. She never turned him. There is nothing but regret in the rest of her journal. I read the very last passage that is recorded.

_I have rewritten this story in this new language that seems to becoming more spoken in this world. I fear my language will soon die out. I will keep this story out there for any other vampire who encounters this in hopes that they will take these words into consideration. Do not make the mistake that I made. I will live until this world comes to an end knowing that I will never again feel the way I once did. I refuse to give up so easily as to let myself perish. I need to live on knowing that I could have had something much more than this. _

From the two journals that I have read I notice that both of the vampires truly loved the human that they were connected to. I feel a weight on my chest, its almost like I can feel the regret that they both were dealing with. It makes me think about Damon. Does this mean that Damon loves me? I realize that this is something I want more than anything. I want the answer to be yes.

* * *

Damon stood in the parlor of a mansion. White marble floors glistening against the light from the chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. Damon could her Isobel's high heels hitting the sidewalk outside as she walked up to the front door. The front door opens as Isobel walks in with a look of boredom on her face. Clad in signature all black. Isobel hangs her heavy black jacket on the coat hanger by the front door.

"Well Isobel, how could you come all the way here without coming to pay a visit to me?" Damon says flashing his usual smirk at her.

"Unless you're here to give me the compass then get out. I'm surprised you found me so fast." Isobel states flatly, not even sounding amused.

"Obviously you forgot who taught you everything you know." Damon says as he backs Isobel up against a wall. Isobel looks up at Damon with a grin on her face. Her slender fingers slide up his shirt, with a sudden movement she pushes Damon back onto the black leather couch just a few feet away. Isobel sits on Damon's lap. Just as fast as she pushed him on the couch, Damon flips the both of them over the back of the couch as he pins her down on the floor. Damon's hand grips Isobel's throat.

"I'm not going to give you the compass and I'm sure as hell not going to let you around Elena again. So whatever twisted version of a mother-daughter relationship you thought you two can have you better get out of your fucking head. I will kill you so fast that you wont have time to regret coming to Mystic Falls." Damon tightens his grip around her throat.

Isobel gasps as she tries moving from his hands. Instead she attempts to get out one word. "Jeremy…" Damon's eyes widen as loosens his grip enough to let her talk.

"If you kill me now, before I get what I came for then I will kill Jeremy without any repercussions. Bring me my compass in the town square tonight and I will hand him back over." Damon lets go of her throat and without saying a word leaves the house with Isobel still laying on the floor rubbing her throat where his hands just were.

* * *

I know what I have to do. I can't be scared of Katherine coming back. No matter the risk I know that I need to do this. I look over at my window where Damon has just entered. I quickly get up and go to him, ready to tell him. Damon speaks before I have a chance to tell him.

"Isobel has Jeremy." My mind completely stops. I need to make sure that he's safe.

"We need to give her the compass." I can hear the panic in my own voice. Damon doesn't say anything to me. "Please Damon."

"I wont let her hurt him. We'll give her the compass." Damon pulls me into him, wrapping his arms around me. I welcome him and the comfort that he brings. I just didn't think that it would be this easy to get him to hand over the compass.

We're in the middle of the town square, the streets lighted up by the lamp posts around the sidewalk. The sidewalk is wet from the sprinklers that had just gone off on the surrounding grass. Isobel walks up to us, I don't give her time to speak first.

"Where is Jeremy?" I don't let my voice break, I can't show her that I'm scared. Isobel rolls her eyes like a child at me.

"Call your house, he's there."

I quickly pull my phone out of my pocket scrolling through my contacts. I tap my phone to dial the house. Within one ring I hear Jeremy on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Jeremy, are you ok?"

"I'm fine Elena." Jeremy hangs up the phone on me. I'm at least glad that he's safe. I pull the compass out my pocket, extending my hand out towards Isobel. She takes the compass and pockets it quickly.

"Why do you want it?" I ask, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"You really aren't in a position to be asking me questions. I'm here because Katherine wants me to be here. That's really all you need to know." Isobel begins to walk away and to the black car that is parked at the end of the sidewalk with the engine running. Before she makes it to the car she turns back towards us a small smile playing on her lips. "One last thing that Katherine didn't want me to tell you Damon but I just can't help but let is slip out. She finally made her decision. She's coming for you Damon."

I look over at Damon and his face is completely blank.

"Why are you saying this?" I ask her, all strength I had to stand up to her is now gone.

"Because I don't want this life for you Elena." With those last words lingering in the air she gets into her car.

Damon is standing there, still as a statue. I don't even know what to say to him. The decision that I had made before all of this wont even matter now. I walk away from Damon but he doesn't even follow me. My footsteps echo as I make my way to my car. I may belong to Damon now but that all doesn't matter when he still belongs to her.


	24. Chapter 23

AN: OMFG THE SEASON FINALE LAST NIGHT MADE ME SCREAM LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD GIRL AT A JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT. HOLY FUCK. First off when Damon kissed Katerine thinking it was Elena I was like "OMFGZ! FINALLY!" but then by the time "Elena" made it into the kitchen and she was putting away the knives I had already figured out it was Katherine and then I got asshurt over the fact that it wasn't Elena that he had kissed. Failure. Then Katherine was all "Rawr!" and she totally killed Elena's real Dad and I went :O then I told my boyfriend about it and he goes "So Douche bag D kisses Slut 2 who he thinks is Slut 1 while Douche bag S is off somewhere else. Right?" -.- He made me make that face. Anyways enough of my ramblings about last nights finale and about how we wont get a new episode for MONTHS. Here is the new chapter. I hope you enjoy. Thank you for the reviews.

* * *

I make it up to my bedroom. All hopes and strength that I had to tell Damon that I was ready to be turned. How can I though when the second he sees Katherine that he'll go running back into her arms to live their sadistic lives together. The anger starts welling up inside of me. I begin pacing back in forth in my room. I turn back around to face my window when I see Damon standing there. I step back when I see him a little startled. I should be used to this by now. I crash onto my bed wrapping myself up in the cold of the sheets. I feel the tears slide onto the pillowcase. I don't even bother to wipe them away. I'm so tired of the tears and the pain. Katherine isn't even here and I've already lost Damon.

* * *

I'm not too sure how long its been. Only a few days at the most. Everything seems to blend together. The curtains to my room are closed, I don't want to see the sun or feel its warmth. My phone doesn't have any missed calls. I've left my window unlocked every night but he hasn't come back to me. My body was ok the first day, I mean I wasn't the best but I was ok. Now though, I can barely breathe, my whole body aches and my skin is a sickly pale. This pain though is nothing compared to how much my heart is aching. I thought that I had known pain and love before but I realize now that everything before Damon meant nothing. Aunt Jenna comes in to check in on me every now and then. Her voice is a faint echo in the distance. I thought that I heard something about going to the hospital but I just shrugged it off. I don't want to get better. I can't get better. All of this will keep getting worse until I eventually pass from this world. I don't get my happy ending. I don't get the life I wanted. I had finally made my decision, to tell Damon that I was ready for me to turn him. That all means nothing now. Damon will get what he always wanted, him and Katherine living their sadistic lifestyle together.

My dreams have gotten worse with all of this. If I can even call them dreams, they're more of a horrible nightmare. Its not even a fragment of the beautiful dreams that they used to be. I don't want to go back to that place though. It was only beautiful when Damon was with me. I woke myself up the other night because my own screams broke through the nightmare. In some way I was grateful that the nightmare ended even if my lungs hurt from the screams.

I decide to go to the cemetery with the little strength that I have left. I get ready as usual to try to fool Jenna from thinking that I'm still "sick". I couldn't tell her this was all over a guy, she would think that I am being over dramatic and tell me to be strong. This is so much more than that though. The sun has just set leaving the Virginia sky scattered with dozens of silver stars. It isn't as beautiful as it was in my dreams with Damon but it has been too long without them. Seeing the sky breaks my heart even more, something that I didn't think was possible.

I make my way to the cemetery. I don't know if I will see this place again, I'm scared of how many days I have left. Even in the dark I can make my way to my parents grave. They may not have been my real parents but that never mattered. They were the best family that I've ever had. I never thought that I would have happiness in my life after their deaths but then Damon was the light in my dark world. Something that I would have never thought. I can barely even remember the days that he was a monster. He was so much more than that to me.

I lean down in the grass, my jeans getting damp from the dew clinging to the blades of grass. I run my fingertips across the cold stone. I can feel where their names are etched in. In some ways I'm glad that they haven't been around to see some of the things that have gone on. In other ways though, I wish they could have been here with me. I know that things would have been so different. I may not have met Stefan or Damon. I shake that thought away from me though, just trying to remember all of the good times that I had with my parents before the accident.

The night continues on, I don't mind though. The lights in the cemetery begin to go dim. It must be getting close to dawn. In the surrounding trees I can hear a rustling of leaves. It startles me and I sit up quickly becoming more aware of my surroundings. The noise happens again. I stand up, quickly shaking the few traces of dead leaves off of my jeans. I knew it wasn't exactly safe for me to be coming outside. Not with vampires loose so close to Mystic Falls. I stand completely still trying to listen in the silence for some evidence that what I was hearing was real. That's when it happens, that's when I hear the crow.

Just like so many months ago when I was here writing in my journal. It was Damon, its always been Damon. I run out of the cemetery as fast as my legs will push me. My feet pound against the raw earth as I cut through the woods back to the sidewalk leading to my house. I know this place well enough. I keep running managing to avoid tripping the whole time. I break out of the woods finally hitting the sidewalk.

The porch light is on. I pause for only a moment. I continue running until I hit the steps leading up to the door. I stop right there, on my porch in front of the door. I look around and there he is. Standing there with a look on his face that I haven't seen before. I can feel an emotion rolling off of his body and onto mine, its one that I haven't felt from Damon before and I can't seem to place what it is.

Right now though, I really don't care because he's here right in front of me. Dressed in all black, with a long sleeved button down black shirt. His pale skin illuminated beyond perfection in the night. A perfect contrast of light and dark. His black hair in loose strands hanging around his face. I try to take all of him in, his piercing eyes, every single piece of him. My heart is pounding furiously in my chest. My hands begin to shake lightly. Damon moves a step closer to me. I can feel my blood coursing fast through my veins now. The pain I have been feeling in my body the past few days is completely numbed by his presence.

"Damon…" I whisper breaking the silence between us.

"I know that you want an explanation for me leaving you the other day. What I did was completely wrong in so many ways. When Isobel said what she did….about Katherine…I went looking. Not for her but to try to find another cure for you Elena. The realization of Katherine made me realize that I don't want you to be that way Elena. I don't ever want you to be like her or to turn into what she has. More importantly, I wouldn't be able to take it if you ever left me. I wouldn't be able to look for you for a century, I wouldn't last that long without you."

"I'm not Katherine though Damon." Its something I have had to say too many times.

"I know you aren't though Elena. That's something that I am sure of. You are so different from her in so many ways. That was the reason why I was trying to find another way besides turning you. I know that you're dying Elena. I can feel it pouring off of you and it gets worse by the day. There isn't another way. I wasn't sure if it was what you wanted but I really don't care at this point because I'm not going to have you die. I wont make the mistakes that other vampires have. I wont go on in this life without you. I already have enough regret to try to live with the regret of losing you." I can tell there is a passion mixed with anger in his voice. I don't give him time to say anything else. I quickly close the gap between us pushing myself against him. I push my lips against his soft ones. His lips quickly meet my pace. I can feel the hunger behind him.

Damon breaks away leaving my bottom lip quivering.

"I love you Elena." His voice is soft. It was the emotion I could feel coming from Damon, I just couldn't place what is was. For the first time in days I smile and I mean it with everything that I am.

"I love you too Damon."


	25. Chapter 24

AN: It killed me not to update but I was in Vegas with my boyfriend for my birthday. Which he totally caught me reading VD fanfics when we were laying in bed together one night(which he totally took my phone away from me the rest of that night lol but it didn't stop me when he fell asleep :D). I couldn't post any from my phone but I could fucking read them and that was epic. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this, I was typing it while watching Glee this morning.

* * *

My body is burning for him. I feel beyond hot in my own skin. His fingers brushing against my skin feels like my flesh is being seared. I close my eyes as I feel his lips lingering right above my own. I can faintly smell his scent. A mixture of his own scent and his cologne. I've noticed that ever since I had been with Damon that there was a beyond sweet smell that rolled off of him. I breathe him in again, a small smile coming to my face. My whole body begins to tingle, starting from my head. My head is light and I know its from the intoxicating feeling that I get from just being near him. I feel his fingertips lightly brush the side of my face. His touch should be cold but no matter it always is hot against my skin.

I'm patient this time. I don't press my lips against his even though my whole body is begging for it. I didn't think that I had this much restraint. I wonder if this is what it feels like to crave for blood, what it feels like to have the restraint. I know it sounds somewhat crazy but I think in a way I have an understanding of what he goes through. I slightly move my hand out to reach him. My fingers lingering right in front of his shirt. I still have my eyes closed. I begin to wonder if he's waiting for me to cave in first. I stop my hand still leaving it right in front of his abs. I think of the feeling of his chest. I want to run my hands underneath his shirt. I start imagining what it would be like in my head when I feel his lips finally make the last little distance between us.

That's all I needed. I push myself up against him, pushing my hips up against his. I stand on my toes to reach his lips with better access. I take a hand running it up underneath his black button down shirt. His stomach and chest are hard but his skin is soft. I take my other hand running it through his hair, getting my fingers entangled in his raven colored locks. His arms are wrapped around my waist pulling me against him even more than I thought possible. I can't control myself. I let loose of all the restraint I had. There is no point for it anymore. I kiss him with more passion, hinting to him that I want the kiss to speed up. Damon understand my hunger as he pushes my back against the wall to my house. My heart is pounding against my chest forcing my blood to course fast through my veins. The mixture of everything is sending my body into overdrive. All of this though completely makes all of the sickness that I have been feeling go away. I run my tongue across his bottom lip. His lips part as I slide my tongue in. I go to pull back and bite down hard on his bottom lip. I manage to break the skin a little bit. A small trickle of blood enters his mouth.

Damon's light eyes look down into mine as we both stand there for a moment. My breathing is heavy with my back still pressed against the wall as he is waiting for me to react. I can't wait any longer. I press my lips against his again. I can taste the blood that was in his mouth, it's a small amount but its not what I expected. Its sweet, just like how he smells. There is no taste of copper like there would have been if the blood would have been my own. There's something euphoric about the taste. Damon takes to me kissing him and pushes his lips hard against mine. The pressure is bruising. I keep up with him though. I wrap my legs around his waist as I tangle my other hand in his hair.

I never thought that I could feel this way. My whole body feels alive, fire coursing through me. I realize that this has been here all along. I've always loved Damon, I've always felt this way, now with the connection its just amplified a thousand times over. I break away from him, looking up into his blue eyes. I can see a pool of emotions behind them.

"Lets go upstairs." I whisper the words but I know he can hear them with perfection.

His arms lift me up with ease. His arms wrapped tightly around my back, pressing my chest against his. Damon manages to open the front door to my house while still keeping me balanced. Not to mention while having his lips furiously working against mine. I shouldn't really be surprised though. He walks us up the stairs, I never once bother to break my lips away from his gorgeous lips. I should be worried about Jenna or Jeremy hearing something, I doubt that Jenna is even home. I push the thoughts far from my mind. At this point I don't care about getting caught.

We fall onto my bed with grace. I go to unbutton Damon's shirt and go for ripping apart the buttons instead. I don't want to wait to feel his skin against mine. I can tell that this surprises him a little bit but he quickly recovers pulling off my shirt quickly. I grin up at him before his lips come crashing back down onto mine. I go for his pants, furiously trying to get them undone while still keeping my lips on his. Before I can even get his button undone mine are already down past my hips.

Damon slides his hand down in between my thighs. I take in a sharp breath. His fingers slide my lace panties to the side. His fingers rub against the outside of my lips. If my body was begging for him before it was screaming, pleading and praying for him now. I can feel him smirk against my own lips. He breaks away from me, his fingers still lightly running across my skin. His eyes piercing my own.

Damon's fingers slide into me quickly and with ease against my built up wetness. My eyes widen from shock. I know he broke away to see my reaction. His infamous smirk is across his features. I bite down on my bottom lip as his fingers move in and out of me. With one fast push I feel them go deep inside of me and I can't help but moan out his name. "Damon."

His smirk turns into a smile. He knows that he has me, that I'm all his. I don't know how long he has wanted this but I do know that this is what he wants. He pressed his lips down against my neck. My breathing becomes more erratic. He places soft kisses against the side of my neck. I title my head to the side, moving my long hair out of the way for him to have better access. I feel him pull his fingers out of me and within a moment I feel him at my entrance. I arch my back as he fully enters me.

Its different this time. My body is quivering beneath him, begging for the change. I don't know how much longer I can last. I feel a change in Damon's emotions, a determination. I feel safe with him though despite the sudden shift in his emotions I feel safe.

I feel his fangs extend.

What wound have scared me months ago I was now welcoming. His fangs are cool against my skin. My legs lightly begin to shake, not from his fangs though. From the fast movement of him in me. I take my legs and wrap them around his back. I take my hands to place them on his back also. I can feel myself about to enter rapture, in the back of my head though all I can think about is his teeth sinking into my skin.

Damon pauses for a moment and I hold my breath.

I feel the sharp pain of his cool teeth break into my flesh. I scream out. Not in pain but ecstasy. Its what I've been wanting, what my body has been craving for. The warmth of my blood begins to trickle down my neck. My whole body goes into rapture as I feel Damon coming with me. The bite is what sent both of us over the edge. I dig my nails into the skin on his back as hard as I can. It will barely feel like a prick to him. He doesn't take too much from me but the whole thing make me light headed. I know that there is a smile across my face from the euphoria of the fresh bite.

I had always expected it to hurt, just like it had hurt when Stefan has bit my wrist. This was so different though. There was a pain to it but so much more. Its because it was from Damon. I could feel the connection flowing between us. Damon breaks away as my body is feeling the exhaustion of it now. I let my legs and my arms fall from around him.

He runs his hands through my hair. I never had to say anything but he knew exactly what I had wanted. It will hold me over for the moment but we both know that the bite will fade from me and eventually he will have to turn me.

I smile thinking about it. All of this agony will finally be gone. Not just that but I really will be able to be with him. I try not to think about the repercussions of what being a vampire will be like. The thought makes my smile falter for a brief moment. I quickly collect myself but feel my eyes flutter.

"You need to sleep." Damon says to me quietly as he continues to run his fingers through my hair. I don't find any energy in me to argue back.

"Stay with me." I whisper to him as I take one of my hands and wrap it up in his free hand. Damon nods his head in a yes motion at me. I know that he wouldn't leave me again but its comforting just having this small gesture from him. I smile as I close my eyes letting the exhaustion take me over. I can faintly feel his arms wrap around my body. I nuzzle into his chest welcoming any dreams that I may have.


	26. Chapter 25

AN: Honestly I've been making this whole story up as I go along. I have no idea what is going to happen until I sit at my computer and listen to music and type. Yes the turn is going to happen SOON, I am just building it up. I was gonna have it sooner(like a few chapters back) but as the words are coming out things tend to change. I'm excited for it though. Thanks for all of the support. Oh here is some more banter between me and my boyfriend, me-"Can we have role play sex and you can be Damon? Oh and you can bite me on the neck really hard! Maybe we can go out into the forest!" him-"Yeah sure just let me go pour some fucking glitter all over myself." me-"That's Edward -.- Damon doesn't sparkle." him-"Does it really matter? They're both douchebags."

* * *

This place is different.

The setting is dark and it takes me a moment to realize where I am. it's the ruins of Fell's Church. The door to the tomb is cracked open. I know that I am going to regret this but then again it is my dream. I take a few cautious steps towards the opening. I pause for a moment listening in the silence for any noise. I hear his voice perfectly, it sounds so weak.

"Elena…"

That's all that I need. I push my way past the heavy stone door. I can hear a pain his voice. The tomb is dark. I should have suspected this much, I know that this probably wont end up well but I can't just stay outside of the tomb. Light on the torches begin to flicker on as I walk past them then bursting up into flames within seconds. I pause for a moment but quickly collect myself. I hear his voice call out for me again. He needs me.

I get to the end of the tomb. Damon's head is hanging down, his hair disheveled. His shirt is completely torn down the front. There are fresh claw marks across his chest with blood still trickling out of them. I rush to him kneeling down on the ground beside him. I lift his face up towards mine. I take in a sharp breath when I see the same claw marks running across the left side of his face. The crimson red standing out against his pale skin. I thought his wounds would have started healing but they are all still so fresh, almost as if he we're human.

I run my fingertips across his chest letting the dark red liquid touch my skin. I see another hand right next to mine, resting on Damon's chest. My dark eyes go wide as I realize the hands are slender and soft.

"Sad isn't it? He looks so fragile." With her looks so similar to my own I would have expected her voice to sound similar to my own. It doesn't though, there is a playful tone to her voice masked underneath a devious one. Katherine's dark chocolate hair is in lose curls around her face. A long sleeved black shirt cover her arms but hugs her figure as she is kneeling down on the ground right next to me. Every single feature of hers is identical to my own. My mouth is slightly open in shock and I can feel my fingers begin to shake lightly against Damon's chest. Katherine smiles at me, her smile is beautiful but menacing at the same time.

"He's mine, you know that though don't you? I'll have him back though." Katherine begins to stroke Damon's hair with her hands covered in his blood. Her perfect smile is still across her face, never once wavering.

"I'm not yours Katherine, I never will be." Damon says using what strength he has left to say the words. A small trickle of blood coming out of the corner of his mouth.

Katherine stops moving her hand across his soft hair. The smile she had has disappeared. I hear the change happen as I watch it. Her eyes grow dark as the veins beneath her eyes turn a bright red with her fangs extending in her mouth. In an instant her hand is through his chest with Damon screaming out in pain. I feel her free hand wrap around my throat immediately cutting off my air flow. I try pulling the air in around me but nothing happens, it makes her constriction around my throat a lot tighter.

"You know that I wont let her live."

I sit up in my bed, my breathing already heavy. My hands move around my throat. The skin feels tight there almost as if a bruising spreading across that area. I look over and see Damon looking at me. His features are not what I am used to. I see a look in his eye and I realize what it is. There is a fear mixed with anger.

"Why didn't you tell me Katherine has been in your dreams?" I can tell the restraint that he is having holding the anger back. Damon's voice breaks when he says her name. I flinch when he finishes.

"I thought that it was just a dream." I whisper, not being able to bring myself to look at him.

"When you fell asleep I went to enter your dream because I wanted to be with you even though you were sleeping. I immediately got sucked into the tomb. I was trapped, I couldn't get out of your head. Katherine held me there, that wasn't just a dream Elena. Katherine is back."

I let the last sentence repeat in my head multiple times trying to let the reality of it all sink in. I thought that it really was just a nightmare the first time. I never even wanted my thoughts to drift to the possibility that after all this time that Katherine is back. I was hoping that it was just a lie that came from Isobel that night. My whole body begins to shake lightly. I feel Damon's arms wrap around my body. I rest my head against his chest taking in the comfort that he is offering to me right now.

"We'll go on with Founder's Day tonight, we need to see if there is any information we can get, especially from John." I nod my head into Damon's chest as he talks. I want to spend the day here in my bed with him. I honestly wouldn't mind a repeat of last night. I want to push all thoughts of Katherine far from my mind though.

* * *

The day goes on and I try not to worry. Damon has spent time trying to convince me to go on the float with the other kids from school but I am really not in the mood. He keeps telling me that is will help make it seem like everything is normal. I then told him that he is going to have to escort me onto the float then.

I stand in the bathroom at the Grill looking into my reflection. My hair is half up with tight ringlets through out my own dark brown hair. My dress is a golden color, shinning in the light. I imagine that this is exactly what Katherine looked like over a hundred years ago. If this were a few weeks ago I would have had a nagging thought in the back of my mind as to what Damon might have thought. I know that he wont look at me as her though.

The door to the woman's restroom flies open and I see Damon with a frantic look on his face.

"What is it?" I ask him as the worry pours out of my voice.

"I need you to do something for me right now and I really am not going to let you take no for an answer." His voice is stern and strong. I nod my head yes but my mind is still running with thoughts. Damon rolls up the sleeve to his shirt and puts his wrist to his mouth. In the silence of the small bathroom I can hear his skin break against his fangs. Damon closes the gap between us as I'm looking up into his eyes. I understand what he wants and I nod my head in a yes motion.

Damon moves his wrist up to my mouth, hovering just an inch away. Damon stands there looking down at me, I can see the different emotions cross his features. I can feel them too. I close my eyes just for a moment and let them wash over me. I can sense almost a small excitement in him for what is going to happen with me, the change. I feel safe with him thought. That's all I need.

I wrap my fingers around his wrist pulling it down to my lips. His blood flows into my mouth. The sweet taste that was in my mouth last night is amplified over a hundred times more right now. The blood warms up my whole body turning it into a heat. All the pain that I have been feeling though is completely gone. My body feels better than it ever has, I can feel strength returning to me. But the taste is so amazing. I can't seem to get enough, my whole body is craving him. I suck a little bit harder on the wound and Damon pulls away from me. My face falls into a frown but Damon's lips are quickly on mine licking away the trace of blood that I had left lingering on my bottom lip. Damon breaks away as his hands are cupping my face close to his.

"Just in case if anything happens, I wont lose you tonight." The words are comforting, so is the soothing tone to his voice. His blood coursing through my body is making me feel light headed. Not in the way it did before so many months ago out by the ruins of the church. It feels different this time. Almost as if I took a drug and peeked with the high of it. I wrap my hand into Damon's, his fingers intertwining with mine. I know that no matter what happens that he will be there at the end of it all.


	27. Chapter 26

AN: So I was trolling the interwebs when I decided to check out music from VD on the CW. I fell absolutely in love with some of the music. The best song has to be Stateless - Bloodstream. You should check it out if you get a chance. Oh and Within Temptation - All I Need, but I'm sure you've already heard that beautiful song from the Delena dance scene.

* * *

My mouth is still tingling from the taste of his blood.

Its been a few hours, the sun has set and the sky is dark. The streets are lit brightly by the many lights strung about the town square. Strings of light hanging off of almost anything they could. Perfect little white lights making the scene actually beautiful. I've changed out of my over sized dress and into my normal clothes. I step out onto the street looking around in the crowd for Damon. I spot him off to the back of the crowd talking to Anna. I watch the look on Damon's face change. I can see that he was using his usual smirk on her, probably degrading her with a smile on his face. Then his smirk falters. The smile I was wearing on my face falls away as I see the look in his eyes become…afraid? I'm not too sure if that's it. I step a little bit closer to the area that they are in. Concern. He's afraid for me. My heart begins to race as the anxiety starts to build up in my chest with a constricting pain. Damon breaks away from Anna, walking towards me. He doesn't look at me though, his eyes are fixated on the crowd.

"What's going on?" The panic in my own voice showing. Damon's eyes finally rest on me. His hands find my face, cupping my chin between them.

"I need to get you out of here now." Damon pulls away quickly, his hand immediately finding my own, our fingers entwine. The panic I had a moment ago washes away. I can sense the concern radiating off of Damon though. He must have noticed because he quickly pushes it aside. I know that he doesn't want me to worry but I just can't push mine aside. I can't stop myself from worrying.

I feel Damon's hand drop from my own. I look over at him just as Damon falls down to his knees beside me. His hands covering his ears. I drop down on my knees beside him. I can feel the pain coursing through him, it takes everything that I have to ignore what is being transferred to me. My ears feel like they are about to burst as a searing pain keeps pounding in my head. I put my hands on Damon's back almost as if in a reassuring manner.

"Damon what's going on?" I ask but I know that I may not get anywhere.

"The device…John…" It takes everything that he has to say the words. My heart feels like breaking watching him on the ground like this. I've never felt so helpless before. I look around the town and see at least 20 people on the ground just like Damon. Not people, vampires. The vampires from the tomb. Police officers are rushing to the vampires. I see a syringe full of vervain being injected into the vampire closest to us. One of the officers starts walking over towards us and the panic I had increases drastically. Right before the officer gets to us, right before he can see who it is kneeling on the ground Alaric is right behind me.

"I'll take care of this one." His voice is also ridden with panic but I can tell that he is trying to mask it. For a moment I am afraid the officer wont believe it but instead he walks away.

"Get him out of here." Alaric whispers to me before he runs off. I just nod at him as I put my arms underneath Damon's in an attempt to lift him off of the ground.

"Come on Damon, please try." I plead with him as I use everything that I have to lift him off of the ground while still trying to ignore the pressure in my head. As soon as I take my eyes off of Damon I notice that there are a pair of feet standing in front of us. My eyes travel up until I see who I am looking at, John. There is a syringe of vervain in his left hand and a wicked smile on his face.

"Please don't." It's a desperate attempt but at this moment I don't know what else to do.

"I can't have this Elena. I've had orders to make sure that the Salvatore brothers are taken down with the vampires from the tomb." The smile on his face matches the tone in his voice.

"You couldn't have gotten that order from Katherine, I know that's not what she wants. You must have gotten it from someone else." I say the words as my mind is trying to think of who it could have been. "Isobel." I say the name and I feel a pang in my heart for the mother that I will never know. The confident look on his face flickers for a moment giving away the answer.

"Speaking of Isobel, she should be here in a matter of minutes." The confident look that had faltered was now back in place across his features. John walks over to us, quickly injecting the syringe into Damon's side. Damon's weight collapses beneath me but John quickly picks up Damon's dead weight. My bottom lip is already trembling.

"Please don't." I keep trying to beg, but I can hear the hope gone out of my own voice. I have one last shot. "As my father, please don't do this." I sound frantic, I am though. John pauses for a moment, his lips pressed together in a line before he speaks.

"This is what Isobel wants."

Of course he would pick Isobel over me. John; my father, walks to the door just feet away from us. Dragging Damon's limp body down a set of stairs into a basement of one of the buildings. I go to run down the stairs after them when a voice interrupts me.

"You aren't going to save him." The voice is familiar even though I have only heard it a few times before this. I spin around quickly to see Isobel clad in all black living up to the vampire stereo type with ease. Her dark hair is pulled back into a bun, her eyes are smoky with dark liner making her eyes that were once full of life seem dead. Even though she is a vampire, there is a painful beauty to her.

"Don't do this." I say with a lot more confidence in my voice. I'm pushing away all the hopelessness I had a moment ago. I wont let anything happen to him, I can't.

"I wont let you live this life Elena. I don't want this for you." Her thoughts and concerns are real. I didn't think that she cared at all about me. Showing this to me though opens up the realization that she is still open to her human emotions, still open to her soul. I have to risk this, I need to try.

"Who are you to have any say in my life? I don't care if you are my birth mother, right now to me, you're just a vampire who thinks she has power but really is nothing. Especially once Katherine finds out what you've done, killing her Damon." I try this approach to see if I can get a reaction, her face never once changes. What I am saying though makes me want to flinch but I hold it back. I don't want to ever think of Damon as being Katherine's ever again. Isobel doesn't know any better though, she doesn't know about what I have with Damon. "Besides, its too late for me." I see a small interest flash across her face. I keep going with this. "If you let Damon die then I will just end up like Alaric. Spending the rest of my days in a sullen state eventually though I'll find someone to turn me. Just like you did."

There it is. I see the switch happen. The one that Damon has talked about. I see the humanity come to her as the hurt is easy to read. Her eyes that were blank a moment ago are swimming now. She doesn't speak yet though so I continue.

"It wont matter. I will become one of you regardless of the circumstances. I know that you still love Alaric and John. With time though, they'll both grow old. Don't let me go on without him." I know that I will become a vampire but part of what I said I was lying about. I know that I wont live if I don't have Damon. Its all that I have to try to reason with her. Its the only leverage I might have with her.

There is a slight nod from Isobel, she walks straight past me and to the entrance of the door. John walks out right as Isobel is about to walk down the stairs.

"Isobel." John says a little surprised. Within a moment there is a bright light coming from the basement. My eyes widen in shock as I realize what it is. I blink and by that time there are bright orange and yellow flames licking at the entrance to the basement. Isobel's face reflects my own, I see the fear, her once human emotions showing full force right now.

"I need to get down there!" Isobel practically snaps at John as her fingers are pointing down to the flames. I can feel the heat radiating from the entrance, I take a small step back barely able to take the heat.

"Have you lost it? You can't go down there, you'll die with them." John's voice is full of confusion and hate.

"I have to try." The words surprise me, more so John than anything. The desperation that I've had has rubbed off onto Isobel.

John doesn't say anything, he stands there in silence looking at Isobel. I see his hand lift up to hers, their fingertips lingering against one another.

"I can help you, but we have to hurry." I was so distracted that I hadn't heard Bonnie walking up to us. Isobel nods her head as John lets his hand drop from hers. "Damon and only Damon, no one else." Bonnie closes her eyes as she begins to chant a phrase in Latin. The flames begin to flicker and fade giving Isobel enough room to run down the staircase. Bonnie's voice fades to me, sounding more muffled and distant. Almost as if my reality has shifted from everyone else's at the moment as I wait for Damon.

Isobel is out of the door within a flash. She drops Damon down to his knees. He is grabbing at his chest as he is lightly coughing from the smoke that was building up in the basement. Bonnie's voice breaks bringing the flames back to life more than they were before. I look up at Isobel, the humanity that I had seen come from her a moment ago is gone. Her stern look is back across her face in an attempt to cover up the act that she just did.

"Thank you." My voice is a whisper but I know that she will have no problem hearing me. Isobel doesn't say a word. She stands there for a moment looking down at Damon in my arms. I can see John behind her. He is beyond furious, even from here I can see his nostrils flaring as he holds his anger inside. I know that he will forgive Isobel, he loves her too much not to. Isobel walks off, her heals hitting the pavement making a light echo in the ally.

I help Damon off of the ground, his body depending severely on mind for support. His black hair is out of place, loosely hanging in front of his eyes. Bonnie is standing in front of us.

"Thank you Bonnie." I say to her. I don't know if I will ever actually be able to thank her enough for what she did for me tonight.

"I did this for you Elena. I am letting you know this though, if Damon ever spills one drop of blood in this town, I will kill him. I don't trust him but…I see the way that you were looking at him. I never knew that this is what you wanted. Honestly I'm a little confused but I am giving him a chance, don't let him mess it up." With those words Bonnie turns in the opposite direction of us, her hair flowing behind her as she pushes against the light wind.

I can feel my knees begin to buckle under the weight. I try to position myself again to see if I can get a better grip. The weight is significantly lifted. I look over to my right to see Alaric with his arm underneath Damon's lifting him up. I smile lightly at him before I head towards the direction of my car. Alaric takes Damon as I open up my passenger side door. Damon practically falls into the seat with a groan. Alaric closes the door and I look at him, there is something different.

"Thank you for helping me."

Alaric places his hands on his waist, pushing his tan coat out of the way. "Well, I know that Damon can be a dick beyond all reasoning in this world but when I saw you with him earlier. God its hard to explain, you looked like you're in love. A lot different than when you were with Stefan, that seemed more like settling. I'm wondering if that's the right word. I hope this isn't too harsh. I just, I don't want you to lose that. Damon told me that you can switch your emotions on and off as a vampire. I think Damon has finally come to terms that he can't be the way he was forever." He's right. I can feel it in Damon as each day passes. There is a change in him. I can't guarantee that he wont kill anyone ever again, I know though that there is a guilt starting to build there. I also know that he wont go after anyone that I know. Even though I am not too sure of the future I am sure of my love for him. I can't push that aside, even if I wanted to. "I'm going to go check on your Aunt. Be careful." Alaric says as he walks off down the side walk. I pause for a moment before getting into the drivers seat of the mini cooper.

I look over at Damon, his skin is shinning but its in a sick way as his skin looks clammy. Damon looks over at me. He has stopped clinching his side. I look into his eyes and there is a sadness there that I have never seen before. The joy I had from being able to save him immediately falls out of my grasp as the emotions rolling off of him hit me hard. Anguish.

"I wanted to save her. I wanted so badly to save her. I never thought that I would want to save anyone that isn't you but as I laid there watching him drive a stake through her heart the only thing I could think about was getting up and ripping John's throat out. I couldn't get up though, no matter how hard I tried." The sadness in his voice hits me even harder. There is genuine remorse. It kills me to see him this way. Its not just a matter that I can feel everything that he is feeling right now but mixed with it are my own emotions. I want nothing more than to be able to comfort him right now. My heart wants to shatter seeing him this way.

"Save who?" My voice is quiet as I reach my hand out to touch his silky hair.

"Anna." His voice breaks saying her name and my hand falls from his face. "I wanted to save her for Jeremy."


	28. Chapter 27

I'm letting Damon talk to Jeremy. He asked me to wait in my room seeing as Jeremy still hates me right now. I'm doing just as he asked, I'm not in Jeremy's room. I am in our shared bathroom listening in on the conversation though. I have to admit that I'm surprised Damon wanted to break the news to him.

It breaks my heart though. I know that Jeremy was truly happy with Anna. After everything with Vicki and how I had Damon erase Jeremy's memory of Vicki…I felt like he would never truly be happy again. That the way he was acting was just a mask to hide the pain that is still there. Anna made him happy though, she made him really smile again.

I wanted so much, so many times to run to Jeremy to tell him to stay away from her. That was for his safety though. I always stopped myself though because who am I to tell him that? I've been with two. I feel a pang in my chest at the thought. I can trust Damon though; I was learning to trust Anna, for Jeremy.

I'm trying not to have my body completely smashed up against the door but I am leaning towards it with my hair tucked behind my ear. I hold my breath for a moment to try to listen to their whispered voices.

"I have to tell you something Jeremy." Even from this distance, even without seeing it, I can hear the pain in his voice.

"What do you want?" Jeremy is still made, letting his anger show. I don't blame him though but he shouldn't be mad at Damon, he just did what I had asked those months ago.

"A…Anna is dead." The words are blunt. I flinch at the sound.

"I figured as much when they took her away." Jeremy's voice doesn't break at all. What I thought would have been filled with sadness is filled with rage. I can hear Jeremy messing around with items on his desk that's not too far from the bathroom door.

"I watched her die tonight." His voice is becoming distant. I'm not too sure if he is talking to himself or Jeremy anymore.

"Why are you telling me this?" I can hear the clank of whatever Jeremy was holding hit his desk with force.

"I'm telling you this because for the first time in over a hundred years I wanted to help someone. The only thing that I could think while I was down there in basement with the other vampires is how I wanted nothing more than to be able to run to her and stop her from being staked. I wanted to save her for you Jeremy, I know that you loved her. What I've realized in the past few weeks is that no one deserves to have the person that they love being ripped away from them." There is a moment of silence between Damon and Jeremy. My heart would break into a thousand pieces right now if it were possible. Its hurting me even more how this is effecting Damon. In a way though, it's the side of him that I have always known was there.

"Is it hard for you? Right now I mean, to be feeling all of this?" The anger is gone from Jeremy's voice.

"Its torturing. The whole time I have been a vampire I have never once let myself feel this way. I spent over a century not worrying about anyone except for myself. Now I see why Stefan sat around brooding all of the time." There is a small laugh at the end of his sentence, almost like a small smile in his voice. "I wont resort to that though. Yes this is different, but I'm trying, trying to do the right thing. I just wanted to let you know, that if I could have saved her tonight I would have done it."

"You can just shut off feeling all of this?"

"Like_ that._" I hear the snap of Damon's fingers. "Its how we exist. Its who we are. Anna though, obviously had let her emotions show when she first met you. She really did love you." The words are meant to be comforting but I'm not too sure exactly how Jeremy is taking them.

"Thank you." Jeremy says. I rush away from the door and into my bedroom practically throwing myself onto my bed. The door from the bathroom opens up with Damon walking through it. He looks weak, even though he wont really admit it but I know that he is covering it up. Damon walks over to the bed sitting down on the edge next to where I have my whole body laid out. I look up at him with worry as he gives me a small smile.

"Thank you." Damon says to me, just making my look of worry turn into confusion. The look on my face makes his smile become wider for a moment before it completely disappears from his chiseled features. "At some point you decided that I was worth saving, despite everything that I have done. I never deserved anything that you've done for me and I still don't. The night after the tomb though, my mind was spinning. I thought about killing everyone in the town. Ripping everyone's throats out. Then I thought about taking my rampage across the world until I found her. Not to be with her though, so I could save Katherine for last. Then something happened, there you were with a sadness in your eyes that looked deeper than mine. Before I knew it your arms were wrapped around me. I felt something that night. You stopped me from all the crazy thoughts that were running through my mind that night. I went home and it was you that I thought about, not her."

"There was also Georgia." I say the words quietly as flashbacks of the night replay in my head. Damon smirks at me but I can tell the effort that all of this is taking with the vervain still coursing through his blood. I sit up on the bed with my body next to his. His legs are hanging off of the edges as I am sitting with my body faced towards his side forcing him to turn when he speak to me.

"There was Georgia, you saved me that night from dying. I was surprised. Even before then though, even before I was doused in gasoline with you pleading for my life. When I saw that you had disappeared I was worried for you. The thought of even losing you then brought something up in me. Then I heard your voice, it was so soothing even in that moment when I had found you. Your voice rang out so clear though when you were trying to save me. Then I was laying there on the ground and the only thought running through my head was if you were going to be ok. You saved me Elena."

My eyes are burning with hot tears that I am trying to push back.

"It was that night in Georgia that I realized I couldn't let anything happen to you. Even when Stefan spent his time trying to deceive you I was always thinking about a way to…I don't know…be friends with you at the least. I saw how hurt you were but there was a part of me that strongly believed that there was so much more to you than that. That you were doing all of this because of someone that you loved. I understood that. No one else did, I felt like you needed that one person. That you needed me. You looked so lost inside yourself, I was the only one that could see it. " One of the tears has slowly fallen down the side of my check, the tear turning cold as it falls further. Damon wipes the lone tear away with his thumb as the rest of his fingers are gently resting on my cheek. His forehead is now resting on mine.

"I thought that once I was dead that all my emotions were gone. I had convinced myself that Katherine is what I needed. You though, you make me feel alive again. I can feel it inside of me, almost incinerating. Your love for me fills me when the blood in my body is fading. I never believed anything after I turned, but I believe in this." His voice is a whisper. They're words I had been craving to hear. I close the distance between us, pressing my lips against his. The kiss is soft at first but Damon quickly intensifies it, pushing his lips hard against mine.

I fall back onto the bed with Damon's body pressed hard against mine. The rush of blood to my head leaves me winded and wanting more. His hands are moving fast across my curves. I breathe heavily as his hand makes its way under my shirt. My skin is burning against his touch. I can feel my lips bruising from both of us furiously working against each other. I like the pain it brings though. Feeling his pressure on me.

His hand slides underneath my bra with ease letting his fingers free to roam. I shiver from his touch running across my breasts. His hands are soft but the force behind them sends me over the edge. I moan out in pleasure as Damon buries his face into my neck. Feeling his breathing alone there causes my breathing to quicken. My chest rises and falls with him still on top of me. I slide my hands down to the waistband of his pants, searching for the button. My fingers fumble as I feel his lips trace light kisses down my neck to my collar bone.

Damon is a lot faster at this than I am. My pants are already unzipped as his fingers are sliding them down from around my waist then down my thighs. My jeans brushing against my skin till they are all the way off with the cool air of my room hitting my now bare legs. I've finally undone the button, his black slacks slide off easily. I can already feel myself wet as I feel him hard pressed between my thighs. I moan out again. Damon wastes no time as my underwear is ripped in half off of me. My eyes widen in shock but at the same time I am enticed.

Damon pulls himself away from my neck so his light blue eyes are bearing into my dark ones. He takes one hand and runs it up through my long hair, leaving his fingers entwined in it. I bite my bottom lip hard as I feel him thrust himself into me. There is an urgency and a need rushing off of him. The thrusts become harder and faster. I have to dig my nails hard into the flesh of his back to keep myself from moving too much from his force. Despite the pace I can feel myself becoming warmer and even wetter around him. The friction between us courses through me.

I can feel a change happen in him. The pure love that was coming from him a few moments ago has changed. I try to place what it is but its hard to concentrate when he feels so amazing inside of me. I try to push the thought aside and focus on nothing but Damon.

His dark hair has fallen around the sides of his face making the contrast of his dark hair and his pale skin beautiful. Damon leans down again placing his lips on the nape of my neck. I've never felt such a weakness on my own body but every time he gets near there, either just a small breath from him or his lips makes my whole body quiver in need.

"Damon…" I moan his name, my own voice sounding sultry. I hear the change the same time I feel his fangs brush against my neck. I hold my breath while Damon rests his mouth against my neck giving me one small moment to object. I don't though. I keep my breath held waiting for the impact.

His teeth break into my skin quickly, I can hear the tear of my own flesh. I arch my back in pain and pleasure. Damon continues to push himself in and out of me as he continues to drink from my neck. I take one hand and run it up through his soft tresses. I grab a handful and pull tightly as my other hand continues to claw into his back. My breathing is rapid as my hips are moving with his. I can feel myself ready to hit the rapture of it all. One more thrust is all it takes as my whole body shakes with my voice calling out his name. Damon takes one last drink from me as he releases spilling himself inside of me.

My body immediately begins to relax along with Damon's. I can feel his tongue running over the wound on my neck licking up the last traces of blood that were still lingering there. Damon places a soft kiss on my neck before finally moving his lips towards mine. The kiss is soft, his lips stay on mine for a long moment, I relish in it. Damon finally pulls out of me then laying himself next to me. I move myself to his arm is wrapped around me with my head resting on his chest. I let my eyes close as a smile rests on my face.

* * *

Jeremy Gilbert laid in his bed, his body going into shock. The bottle of pills that he just downed already working their way into his system. The mixture with Anna's blood was making his body hot, his skin was starting to look clammy. He could feel the moisture seeping out of his skin, he assumed that was from the over dosage of pills.

The window to Jeremy's room blew open quickly letting a breeze in his room roll over his over heating body. Jeremy welcomed the cold against his burning flesh. The drapes to his window were billowing furiously. Jeremy moved his eyes away from his window, letting them close. Jeremy opened them back up a moment later when the cool breeze disappeared. The window was now shut, curtains unmoved. Confusion flashes across his face as he moved his eyes to the foot of his bed.

There she was, her fair porcelain skin illuminated by the small lamp that was on the night stand next to the bed. Her dark brown hair in lose waves hanging around her face. Her dark eyes to match her hair. In this moment she was more beautiful then Jeremy could remember.

Anna's face was that of confusion as she scanned over Jeremy's condition. Her eyes finally landing on his face where his eyes seemed gone but the smile was a fraction of the one he used to have.

"They said that you died." Was all that Jeremy said, the pills reacting faster than he thought. Anna looked over at his nightstand where the pill bottle was tipped on its side, a few pills still spilling out of it and onto the counter. Anna realized in that moment that Jeremy had taken them to die.

Anna rushes up to his side, her hands wrapping around his arms.

"Jeremy, did you take the blood?" Her voice ridden with panic.

"You're so beautiful." Jeremy takes his hand reaching it out to the side of Anna's face, his fingertips lightly grazing her skin. Anna shakes her head lightly as she tries to shake Jeremy like it will get a real response out of him.

"Did you take the blood?" Her voice is fierce and full of determination this time.

"I love you Anna." The words make her drop her hands from his body. Jeremy closes his eyes, his hand going limp at his side. Anna stands there for a moment in shock. Quickly coming to, she puts her wrist to her mouth tearing at her skin, exposing a now open vein with crimson liquid pouring out of it.

Anna sits herself on top of Jeremy, her legs straddling his sides. She puts her wrist down to his mouth, his lips lightly part as she forces the blood inside his mouth. She can feel his faint heart beat pulsing against her. Jeremy subconsciously drinks the blood coming out of her rest. Anna lets herself relax for a moment. She pulls her wrist away from his mouth. Jeremy's eyes are still closed and his head is turned to the side, his breathing shallow.

Anna runs her hands up to his neck, letting them rest there for a moment. Her fingertips begin to enclose tightly on Jeremy's throat. His eyes open in shock as his body tries to resist the pressure against his windpipe. Anna doesn't falter though as she keeps her small fingers tight around his throat, just increasing the pressure she was applying. Within a minute Jeremy's body has given up. Anna waits for his heartbeat to completely stop before releasing her fingers from his throat as she smiles lightly down at him.

Anna leans down, her lips hovering above Jeremy's. Her lips close down on top of his in a short kiss, his lips still warm from the blood that was coursing through them.


	29. Chapter 28

AN: Thanks for the support everyone. I refuse to let Anna die. There will be a full explanation later on as to how she survived, of course I didn't put it in this chapter though. I'm pretty sure that IkeaGoddess and I think a lot alike though ;) I'm hoping that the writers of the CW will also think like us.

* * *

My legs are intertwined with Damon's, my thighs pressing against his. I lean over pressing a soft kiss against his cheek before pulling myself away from him to get out of my bed. I quietly get dressed. Normally just moving out of the bed would have awoken Damon but there are still a few traces of vervain in his system making his hearing not the best right now. I know that my blood significantly helped.

I pull on my clothes from earlier since they are on my floor and its easier than trying to do through my dresser at the moment. After slipping on the clothes I head out into the hallway and down the stairs.

I hear a noise that sounds like someone crying out in pain, the voice is distinctly male. I rush down the stairs quickly to make sure that its not Jeremy. My feet are pushing hard against the wood floor. I turn quickly around the bottom of the staircase bolting my way into the bright lit kitchen.

John is pushed up against the kitchen counter, his teeth grinding together in pain. His hands wrapped around the handle of the knife that is placed up near his ribcage.

Her back is facing me, with her curled brown hair to match mine cascading down her back. The black jacket that I had seen her wearing in my dream is now clinging to her slender arms and small frame.

I should have noticed it missing a few days ago. I should have realized something else when my belongings went missing tonight at the Founder's Day celebration. The events are clicking in my head as I watch John sink down to the floor, the knife still tightly inside of him. His hands still clinching the handle with his knuckles turning white as he is trying to pry the metal from between his bones. His shirt is soaked in blood along with his hands but it doesn't stop him from trying. I notice then that a few of his fingers are missing and that's also where a lot of the blood had been coming from.

I want to scream, I want so badly to turn around and run but I am frozen in place. My feet feel stuck to the hard surface. Its too late anyways, she knows that I am here. She turns around slowly, her eyes ringed with red, her face completely changed, porcelain colored fangs extending over the sadistic smile playing at her lips.

By the time I even blink Katherine has already blurred over to me, her hands wrapped tightly around my throat. I gasp out for a breath in natural reaction to it even though I know it wont help. Katherine pushes me back against the wall slamming my head against it hard, I close my eyes on the impact. The picture that was hanging on the wall next to me falls to the ground shattering the glass. My head is throbbing from the pain.

Katherine's face changes, the vampire in her disappearing. I expected her to look like me, a lot but I didn't expect to have all of the exact same physical features. For a moment I am entranced by her, almost as if I'm looking into a mirror. Katherine smiles up at me as she keeps her grip on my throat while slamming my head against the wall one more time as the sharp pain shoots down my whole body.

"Well I didn't imagine this is how this would happen. I actually had a really big elaborate plan for you but you're somewhat ruining it. I don't like when people ruin my plans." Her voice is similar to mine. I notice the different quickly in it though, her words have a wicked tone to them. Her nails dig in deeply to the side of my neck. My eyes widen in pain as I try miserably to gasp for air. I can feel the blood spilling out of my neck. Her nails are hitting the bite marks on my neck, the wounds still so fresh. Katherine notices that there is more blood than there should be from just her nails. She looks down at my neck noticing the two puncture wounds buried into the nape. I look away from her for a moment then back down to her eyes which have turned black with her dark veins protruding from beneath her eyes, her fangs once again extended. I hear a low growl in her throat before her face changes again. Katherine shakes her head lightly at me and smiles.

"Looks like my plans have changed, but that's ok. I'll just improvise." She smiles at me a perfect smile, I didn't expect her to be so beautiful. Her hands grip at me tighter as her nails dig deeper into my skin. My warm blood flowing over her small fingers. I see the trail of blood going down her hand and under the sleeve to her jacket, my jacket. I can feel my blood trying to flow through my veins, my pulse pounding against the pressure of her hand. Katherine takes her nails running them against my throat making the wound now inches long. I can feel the blood now streaming out of the wide gashes in my neck.

Katherine lets go of me, letting my body slump to the ground just like she did with John. Jagged shards of glass scraping against my legs. I move my hands to my neck in a failed attempt to keep the blood from surging out. The blood starts to trail in between my fingers. I gasp for air, the wounds making it unbelievably hard to breathe. I can feel the blood, its cooper taste starting to well inside of my mouth. I part my lips letting the blood descend over my bottom lip. The metallic taste forces me to try to spit the blood out of my mouth. Katherine leans down by me, her face still plastered with a flawless smile. I look into her chocolate brown eyes, the same as my own. For that moment I can see true happiness behind them.

"Maybe its better that he finds you this way." Katherine stands up, looking down at me one last time before she walks out of the back door to the kitchen. Katherine leaves the back door open with the air from the outside flooding into the open kitchen, the cold air making my body shiver more severely from the lack of blood. My knees are on the cold floor with a pool of blood forming against the pristine white of the kitchen.

I didn't expect it to happen this way.

I was waiting for Damon to change me. I wanted this to mean something. I wanted to hold on to the fact that he would be the one turning me. Its his blood flowing through my veins but Katherine's hand that is going to change me. A let the salt filled tears slide down my cheeks with my hair strewn about across my face in a tangled mess. I glance over at John who is still conscious but has given up on trying to pry the knife out of him.

"Damon." I call out his name quietly causing more blood to pour out of the gaping wounds across my throat.

There he is, right next to me, kneeling on the ground. His eyes are frantic as his hands are trying to examine my body.

"I'm sorry Elena." His voice is broken as he looks at the blood that has run down the front of my chest soaking the top of my shirt. "I didn't hear anything…the vervain….oh god…the smell of your blood woke me up." I shake my head lightly at him as I close my eyes. The small movement alone takes a lot out of me. I'm losing the blood too fast. I try to open my mouth but the blood just comes out of my mouth again. I snap my lips shut as another tear falls. I want to tell him but I am getting frustrated as I feel myself becoming more light. "It doesn't have to be this way, we can get you to the hospital…" I shake my head in a no motion quicker this time my eyes wide at him.

"John." I manage to whisper the words out. Damon looks over at John who's eyes are now shut sitting up against the kitchen cabinets. "Ambulance…please." Even though he doesn't deserve it. Even though I think he deserves Katherine ruthlessly killing him, I can't have the guilt of it, knowing that he is my biological father. My morals stand above letting him die.

The kitchen phone is in Damon's hands, I can hear his voice speaking to the dispatcher. All panic has washed away from him. His voice is becoming an echo in my mind. I lay down on the cold floor, letting my own blood flow over other parts of my body as more pieces of glass cut across my flesh.

My hair is hitting the collected spot of blood on the floor, getting my dark locks drenched in the liquid. I keep a hand rested against my throat though it hasn't helped with anything. Damon's eyes never look away from mine as he hangs up the phone. There is a deep sadness behind his eyes other than that he wont show it.

I smile up at him, or as much as I can. I take my free hand, reaching out to his face. My fingertips leaving a trace of bright red across his white skin. Both of his hands wrap around mine bringing my hand to his lips. He kisses my hand softly as I close my eyes, letting his lips linger against my cold skin. My body is starting to become colder, my are tingling from the loss of blood. My heart beat begins to speed up, the pace becoming quicker with each beat. I keep my eyes shut, knowing that this is going to be it.

I feel Damon take his hand to brush my matted hair from the blood away from my face leaving perfect lines of blood across my face. I can faintly feel the sticky substance remaining there. My heart is pumping too fast now, like the fluttering of a butterflies wings. I try to keep my body as calm as possible. My mind is already drifting far from here. Behind my eyes is the brightest light, the same exact one from my dream. My face scrunches up even with my eyes shut in an attempt to make the scorching light stop. It doesn't so I stop furrowing my brows making my face look peaceful once more. There is a flash once again as I keep drifting in and out of consciousness. I don't expect it but I see the crow soaring, wings fully spread out in the light, rays of white breaking through its feathers. With what I have left I smile welcoming the oncoming darkness.


	30. Chapter 29

AN: Finally, the good stuff right? Who doesn't want to be a vampire and be with Damon? Which I am currently in the process of convincing my boyfriend that during the filming for season two that we need to take a road trip to Georgia to see if I can see anything(which means stalk Ian and be a crazy fangirl or maybe kidnapping...if anything just a picture of him and Nina kissing would be good. I'd post that shit on the internet so fast). If they would have just filmed it in VA where its based I would be golden since I effing live here -.- I think its gonna result in my boyfriend just handing me over to Ian and being like "Take her, she likes to talk and she likes foreplay, I can't do it anymore." I might be ok with that. Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews, I'm done babbling now.

* * *

I can hear the ticking of a clock faintly moving its hands somewhere in the same room as I am in. I lay there still with my eyes closed just listening. There is the sound of even breathing coming not too far away from me. I take in a breath, a sudden sensation like embers sliding down my throat overwhelms me. I snap my eyes open. The room is lit by artificial light but even that seems too bright for me. I blink a few times hoping that maybe the light will dim. After a few tries the room doesn't seem as bright. I can feel the soft touch of cotton rubbing against my skin. I notice that I am on a bed, Damon's bed. I slowly sit up so my back is propped up against his pillows. I can feel the little feathers move inside the pillow. I wriggle my body once more, furrowing my eyebrows in discomfort. I continue to look around the room. Everything is enhanced, I can smell the dust particles floating around me.

That's when I notice him leaning against the desk in his room with his arms crossed over his body. I can see every single crease in his jet black button down shirt. I can also notice there are darker colored stains across the fabric. It hits me like a wave, the sickly sweet smell forcing me to close my eyes and take in a deep breath. The blood; my blood, from earlier still fresh. There is a low growl from my throat, something that I don't recognize. I open my eyes to look back at Damon.

"I'm going to change my shirt, I don't know how I could have forgotten." His voice is harmonizing, sounding so much more clear to my ears. I nod my head lightly. I look down at myself to notice that I am wearing just one of his plain black v-cut shirts, my cleavage displayed with the fabric plunging down my neck line. There is nothing but lace on underneath the shirt to cover the other parts of myself, my slightly tanned legs completely exposed. He managed to dispose of my clothes but forgot of his own.

I watch his fingers work their way to each button. His shirt exposing more of himself with each button undone. I keep sitting there in astonishment and awe. The shirt slides off of him, he tosses it into the corner of the room. I can hear every inch of the fabric move as it goes across the room, my eyes following it as it goes. I divert my eyes back to Damon who has his back towards me now as he is going through a drawer looking for a shirt. I can hear the movement of everything that he is touching but I push the sound aside to make it a distant noise as I keep my attention focused on his body. I move up a little closer to the foot of the bed where I can get an even better look. His skin looks porcelain to me now, completely flawless in every way. I can see the muscles moving in his back as he continues to look for a shirt. I think about it for a moment, baffled as to what is taking him so long since I am certain a majority of his clothes look exactly the same, black. A small frustration building up inside of me in want for him to turn around so I can continue to look at his sculpted body.

Damon turns back around, so his chest is facing me. I spend my time examining him. My eyes slowly working my way from the floor, up his legs to his waist. I pause there for a moment before scanning my eyes up to his chest. I quickly get out of his bed, moving fast to be in front of him. Damon keeps completely still as I take my hand to hover it above his chest. I let my finger tips linger above his skin. My eyes still moving rapidly as I try to take all of him in. He keeps his shirt off as he continues to let me stand there. I finally bring myself to let my finger tips graze him. I pull back quickly. I move my hand towards him again then letting my hand rest against his chest I let out a deep breath. His skin is unbelievable smooth against my own. I keep my hand pressed there letting the warmth of him flow across me. I don't remember him ever being this warm. I begin to wonder if I feel the same to him right now.

"You do." His strong voice breaks through my concentration. I look up at him still not moving my hand from the spot it is resting across his chest.

"How…how did you know what I was thinking?" My own voice is barely recognizable to me. It sounds softer but I can still hear myself behind it. The same sheepish way I would have asked before all of this.

"I can hear you." Damon says quietly as I bring myself to look up into his eyes. The ice blue of his eyes looks like a brand new blue to me. I can see every different shade in his eyes now, I can feel myself falling and getting lost in them, almost completely forgetting about what I was going to ask. I bring myself back to reality but still not breaking my eyes away from him.

"Can I hear you?" I whisper to him as a smirk appears across his face.

_Yes._

It startles me but I keep my place. "Can all vampires hear each other?"

"No they can't. I can communicate to you because it was my blood that was in you. Just as easily though I can shut myself off if I don't want anyone in. It a matter if people want the communication open." The words make me happy, a feeling that I didn't know if I would have or not. Happy in the sense that I already know he has cut himself off from everyone else. Damon's face changes to one of curiosity as he stands there in silence for a moment. I look at him confused, his eyes finally connecting back with my own.

"Is this what you were feeling?" I stand there looking at him confused still, his words to vague at the moment for me to understand. "I just felt you, felt what you were feeling. There was a warmth that filled my chest, like you were happy." I nod my head yes with my eyes filled with curiosity.

"Is it the connection?" I'm still standing just a few inches away from him, my hand still not moving from his skin. I move my other hand to his chest also. I close my eyes for a small moment, letting the feeling of him hit me hard. I open my eyes back up, I notice that being this close to him is suppressing the incinerating in my throat.

"As for now I would think yes. There actually haven't been any recordings of anyone every having turned the person that they were connected to. Granted it doesn't mean that it didn't happen, if it did we just don't know about it." I can hear a small worry in his voice along with the emotion lightly come to me. It doesn't hit me as hard as it did when I wasn't changed. This is new, and for now it seems like it's a lot easier to deal with. Then I remember everything that happened. The memories somewhat seem like a haze but its all still there.

"What happened to everyone? Are they ok? Jenna, Jeremy…John?" The last name is hard for me to say. It took everything I had even as a human to not let him die.

"Jenna is fine, she had a concussion from being hit in the head, nothing else wrong with her though. John is in ICU, they're expecting a full recovery though. As for Jeremy…he wasn't there." The last one worries me the most. Damon had just spoken to Jeremy right before everything had happened. Well a few hours at least. He must have left the house when we were asleep. Panic hits me hard as I think about Jeremy outside where Katherine is roaming. Damon can sense the worry rising in me.

"I'm sure Jeremy is fine." We don't say her name, Damon wont even think it which I am grateful for. Its not really something that I want to talk about right now. I shut off that switch, it's a lot easier than I thought with Damon so close to me. My mind completely switching all of my focus to his bare skin in front of me.

I move my body closer to Damon's. I press my chest against him along with the rest of my body. My exposed legs brushing against the fabric of his jeans. The feeling is a little rough but nothing that I can't tolerate. I run my hands from his chest up to his shoulders then down his arms and then back up. My eyes follow my hand movements. I then run my hands down his chest to his waist line. I let my fingers gently glide along the waistband of his dark blue jeans. I bite my bottom lip as I begin to think about everything I had with him, my mind continues going to _those_ places thinking about how different it must all be now. I can feel it welling up inside of me. The lust and hunger mixing together. Without noticing it my breathing is coming more erratic. Damon takes my hands off of him as he hold them in his hands. I look up at him a small smile playing at his lips.

"Its confusing, the hunger and desire, getting so blurred right now." I nod my head at him frantically, my body screaming out to be touched among other things.

Damon leans in slowly, his lips right near mine. I close my eyes waiting for him to kiss me. I feel his breath roll over me, so soft and light. The scent hits me hard, I didn't expect him to smell so exhilarating. I feel as if I'm about to lose my balance taking him in, the feeling of strong intoxication running through every part of my body. I open my eyes back up to see his infamous smirk. Obviously he knows what he is doing right now.

I grab him roughly by his waist band pulling him into me. I crash my lips against his. His lips are softer than I remember, smooth like petals. The feeling make my whole body warm so I deepen the kiss. What would have bruised my lips at this point was only slightly rough to me now. With this new found discovery I pull Damon towards the bed with me. We fall backwards, our lips never leaving each other. I try hard to ignore all of my other sense, like the feel of his blankets rubbing against my skin and more on the feel of his skin against mine.

He was right, everything is amplified. At the moment in the best of ways. I break away from him for a second, taking my shirt off. Leaving myself in nothing but the black lace boy shorts. I bring my lips back to his, this time I position myself on top of him. I move my long hair out of the way, feeling the silkiness of it in between my fingers. I move my hands back to Damon, my fingers claw into his chest as I squeeze my legs around him tightly. The hunger overwhelming me as I try to replace it with his touch. Damon pulls me down closer to him, pushing himself hard against me I moan out.

There are a hundred different noises going on outside even in the darkness. The leaves from the trees falling dead against the ground. The wind blowing the leaves against each other making them crack and crumble. Then I hear the footsteps. I break away from him quickly, my whole body alert. Damon can hear it too, his face just as alert as my own. We both sit there silently. A knock comes to the door, the noise is loud. I wince in pain, not adjusted to the sound yet. Damon's hands are quickly to the sides of my face comforting me. The knock stops, we both continue to sit there in silence waiting for something.

"Are you sure they're home?" I realize its Jeremy's voice. I jump off of the bed quickly grabbing the shirt that I had been wearing.

"Of course they're home, you just didn't pick up on their noises a minute ago. Be lucky you didn't" Her voice is playful, almost too cheerful. It doesn't sound nearly the same as when I was human but I can definitely hear a happiness to her voice.

Damon and I look at each other at the same time, both of our expressions showing utter shock. Our minds thinking the same thing.

_Anna. _


	31. Chapter 30

AN: Thanks again for the reviews/support. My boyfriend just tried to sell me into slavery at Chipotle in exchange for him to get four chicken quesadillas. He literally spoke to the manager trying to work out a deal. Just 4 quesadillas? I should be worth more than 4. Granted they are absolutely delicious but 4 is only $24. I stood there the whole time like this -.- while the girl was laughing. I think that they were actually considering it too.

* * *

Damon is down the stairs before I am. I take my time running down the stairs instead of using my vampire speed.

Damon didn't warn me to stay away from Jeremy, he didn't tell me to stay in my room. Something that I know Stefan would have done. If anything happens I know that Damon is a lot faster then me, I completely trust him to stop me if I try to rip Jeremy's throat out. The thought for a moment bothers me but I shake my head as if it is shaking the image out of my mind.

I hit the bottom of the stairs, the front door is already open. The night air lightly blowing in. I could easily distinguish their faces with the porch light. Anna looked exactly the same as she did at the Founder's Day celebration, except spots on her clothes were turned black, the ends of her jacket fraying. I stand there in confusion for a moment until I remember that she was down in the basement. The look of confusion grows on my face even more as I try to wrap my head around how she got out of it.

"Anna." Damon says, the same amount of confusion coming out of his voice.

"You two look just so happy to see me." Anna walks past Damon with Jeremy closely following her.

"You were staked and then set on fire. I'm more of wondering how the hell you're standing in front of me." Damon lets the door close behind them as they make their way into the study.

Anna collapses onto the couch with Jeremy sitting down right next to her. I notice their fingers immediately find each others. I'm still standing back in the foyer watching the exchange between everyone.

The sweet smell of blood that I was expecting didn't come to me. I was imagining that the second I saw Jeremy that I would lose all control jumping for his neck. Not even able to remember that he's been my brother my whole life despite the fact that I'm actually John and Isobel's.

I breathe in, closing my eyes. Letting every single smell hit my senses. I can smell Anna, the smell of gasoline and burnt clothing. I can smell all of the book on the shelves collecting dust. I can small the opened bottle of liquor a few feet away on the small bar. I'm letting everything hit me to distinguish it, still expecting to smell human blood.

Nothing.

I walk over to where they are. Damon standing with his back towards me, I stand right next to him slightly tilting my head as I keep looking at Jeremy. Completely ignoring the fact that I am still standing here in nothing but Damon's black shirt which the smell of him is still lingering mixing with all of the other scents right now. I push it aside though, trying not to get myself worked up at the moment.

"Here's the thing…" Anna is starting to say but I cut her off.

"You turned him?" I asked more shocked than I probably should be. I should have expected this. I guess I just didn't think that it would be this soon.

_I didn't even notice. I've spent so long getting used to the smell of humans that most of the time everyone mixes together. _I can tell that Damon is a little surprised by it too.

"Not exactly. Well yeah, I did." Anna her voice completely serious, the smile that is usually so visible in her voice when she is around Jeremy has vanished.

I didn't want this life for Jeremy. I don't want him to go through this. I can feel an anger surfacing in me. The sense coming on stronger than it should have.

"How could you?" I sound so much like myself. The hurt is radiating off of me. This time its Jeremy that speaks as he jumps off of the couch.

"How could you have done everything that you did to me? All of the lies. I thought that I had lost Anna tonight, I didn't want to feel the pain of losing her. She's here thought and that's all that really matters to me. I can let go of you having Damon erase my memories. I can't have you stand here though saying that you don't want this for me, accusing Anna of turning me. This was my choice. How dare you as you're standing here just as turned as I am." His brown hair falling to the sides of his face. Jeremy's words cut me and I flinch moving my face away from his for a moment in shame. I collect myself and turn myself back towards him.

_Do you want me to talk to him? You know its killing me not to rip into him for talking to you like that. _In his own way he's actually really sweet. I know that he's concerned because he sees the situation the same way that I do. That I did it to protect Jeremy. The harder I tried though the more that he got pushed into all of this.

_Thank you. I need to talk to him though. _

"You're right." I say softly. Jeremy's defensive stance relaxes. He sits back down on the couch, his hand once again finding Anna's. "I'm so busy trying to protect you that I couldn't see that Anna was already doing that. Some part of me knew that this would eventually happen, I just didn't think that eventually was right now. As for me, I wanted this life with Damon. I didn't choose to be turned right now but it happened. There is a lot more too it than that though." All of us are quiet for a moment.

"What do you mean that there is a lot more to it? I mean I understand that there must be because well I expected you to be with the one that broods all the time with him letting you grow old out of guilt that he would never want to turn you." I know that she doesn't mean any harm by the words, honestly though they don't bother me. I don't feel guilty about what happened. I didn't do it intentionally, hurting Stefan, I fell in love with Damon though. I think he understood that. A small part of me though wonders sometimes that he must be doing now. I try not to think about it, not wanting Damon to hear my thoughts since I'm not too sure if I can turn off the communication. "Oh don't look so sullen, we all know its true. He would have never done it." Anna somewhat has the same quality that Damon does, the one where they both just say whatever it is that they are thinking.

Damon does me the favor of switching the topics. "Right now I think that we are a lot more curious as to how you are alive." Damon and I are both still standing as we watch Jeremy and Anna sitting next to one another.

Anna lift up her hand where her ring that is so similar to Damon's, John's and Alaric's; is in perfect condition on her finger.

"That's not possible." Damon wants to doubt it so much but he can't. Neither can I. A ring that can bring a vampire back from being well dead.

"I'm here, aren't I?" Anna puts her hand back down resting it on her blackened grey jeans.

"How though? I mean my ring doesn't do that. No ones does." Damon sits down in the arm chair that is across from the couch that they are sitting on. Damon pulls me down onto his lap. I try pulling down the shirt that I am wearing in a feeble attempt to cover some of my legs. Damon wraps an arm around my waist letting an ease flow of me. I stop fidgeting with the hem on the shirt, letting my hands rest on his free hand that is on the arm of the chair.

"After you and Stefan left Mystic Falls I spent time with Emily. She experimented a lot and this was one of those experiments. She didn't know if it would work, fuck I didn't think that it would. I don't know if she made anymore after this one. I don't quite think it works like the other ones either. I'm pretty sure it was only good for that one time. It works differently since we're already dead. I know that its in her Grimoire though. You'll be able to find out a lot more about it than what I can tell you."

"No it can't be. I looked through it so many times." Damon is blocking off his mind from mine, I try to listen but I hear nothing but silence. I let my face fall into a frown. His mind must be running too many thoughts for me right now. I try to not let it get to me as I continue on with their conversation.

"You just weren't looking for it." Anna says with a smile playing on her lips.

_I didn't want to overwhelm you. I could still hear you though. _I look over at Damon who still has his eyes focused on Anna and Jeremy.

"Bonnie has the grimoire." Damon's voice is full of determination. I look over at him interested in why he would want one.

"Well you and Jeremy are going to need rings if you want to go out in the sun. Besides I don't look forward to spending an eternity with someone who has a different sleep schedule than me." There is a smirk across his face as he raises his eye brows at me. Something that he hasn't done in awhile. I turn my head away in shyness. I would have been blushing if it were possible. He incredibly sexy when he does that. I start to let my mind wonder letting the lust take over me. Damon leans into me.

"Why Elena, I didn't know that you had such a dirty mind." Damon whispers into my head seductively. I try not to smile but do push the thoughts of him and me away right now. Even if I want nothing more than for him to run his hand up my thigh.

"Ok! I think its time to actually get you some blood because your mind is really starting to go off. As much as at any other time I wouldn't mind, I don't think that us going at it right now would be too appropriate." I hang my head even lower letting my long hair cover up most of my face. I can hear Anna trying not to snicker at Damon's comment while Jeremy has somewhat of a disgusted look on his face. One of the things that used to annoy me about Damon was his ability to say anything he wanted with no remorse for anyone, completely being an asshat about it sometimes. Now though, it is a quality that I like in him. I'm embarrassed but I can't bring myself to be mad at him for this one.

I get up following Damon into the kitchen where the fridge is stocked with different bags of blood from the hospital. I stand there looking at all of the bags, the red looking darker than normal against the white background. Even through the plastic I can faintly smell the blood. I take in a deep breath letting my head start to pound. I clench my teeth together trying to keep control of the thirst coursing through me.

"Is it always like this?" I ask Damon through gritted teeth.

"No. You'll eventually grow out of the throbbing pain when you smell it. The thirst though will always be there."

I look at Damon with wide eyes. Turning my hands into fists, letting my knuckles turn white as I dig my nails into the palms of my hands. Damon takes his hands in mine as soon as he notices what I am doing. Its taking everything that I have to not tear through all of the bags in this very moment letting the blood flow into my mouth, sliding smoothly down my throat….

"Stay with me." Damon's eyes look for mine, I lock my eyes onto him redirecting all of my concentration. His gorgeous blue eyes make the burning in my throat almost like a faint pain. "You will always have the thirst but it wont be this bad for long. I promise you though that I will be with you for all of this." Damon is leaned down a little bit so his eyes are eye level with mine.

"You don't have to say it, I know that you are going to be. Thank you though." I smile at him letting myself get lost in his beauty.


	32. Chapter 31

His beauty radiates off of him. Nerves are still managing to work their way up in my body. Damon is staring at me, his light blue eyes are locked onto mine. I can see the desire driven behind him swimming in his eyes. His dark hair in a mess around his face. The color of his hair making his eyes just that much more beautiful to look at in the contrast of it.

The fridge door is still open, the cold air hitting my bare legs. The cold that would have bothered me before feels good against my skin that feels like it is burning. The low buzzing of the fridge is playing in my ears, the hum from the motor working hard against the open door. The noise is easy to drown out though, all I have to do is completely concentrate on something else. Just like Damon doesn't move but keeps his eyes on me. I take a few small steps towards him, he never once wavers though completely keeping his place. I take another step forward so my chest is faintly touching his.

I move my hand up to the collar of his shirt, letting my fingers trace the stitches in the fabric. I never let my eyes leave his. I can feel the desire burning through me. The combination of him being so close to me with the smell of blood lingering in the air is sending my emotions into overdrive. Damon can sense what my body wants as he raises an eyebrow at me in his mischievous way. I smile up at him. My lips quickly land on his with his hands wrapping around my waist. I lightly jump up, wrapping my legs around his waist as his hands slide from my waist to under my thighs.

Damon moves both of us over to the kitchen counter, gently setting me down. I deepen the kiss, pulling Damon down closer to me as my back hit's the cold marble of the kitchen counter. I arch my back for a moment adjusting to the cold before resting it back down. I put one hand up to the side of his face while my other hand is gripping at his shirt which I've balled up at the collar. I can feel Damon thrust his hardness against me. I let a quiet moan escape my lips, nothing but a mumble with his lips still pressed so tightly to mine.

Damon does the movement again, this time my lips move away from his letting the moan out into the open air. At the same moment my hand that was gripping at his shirt makes a rip in it. I can hear every fiber of the fabric tear. My eyes widen as I bite my bottom lips, a small piece of the black shirt resting in my hand. I hear a small chuckle from Damon as I give him an 'oops" look. Damon leans down, giving me one soft kiss before pulling me off of the counter.

"As much as it is killing me to do this, trust me it is taking every ounce of will power that I have not to take you on this kitchen counter right now but we do have guests, one of them being Jeremy with super powered hearing." I can hear a small frustration in his voice, the same frustration that I have from the tension that we just built up. I let my face fall into a frown out of disappointment but I know that he is right. His willpower is just a lot better than mine at the moment. I can't tell what I want more, to have Damon's touch or to have the rose colored liquid that is still waiting for me in the open fridge.

Damon reaches into the fridge grabbing one of the plastic bags. Taking it out and shutting the door behind him he goes of a glass cup that is in one of the many cabinets in the kitchen. I watch as he easily tears open the plastic, pouring the contents into the glass.

I watch the glass spin around in the microwave, the smell of blood getting stronger with each second that it is heating up. I feel like a child waiting and watching.

"You're having a lot more patience than a child though." Damon says. I shoot him a sideways glance as I try to hide my smile.

The microwave starts to beep as the green letters on the small screen read _END_. Damon takes the glass out, not even bothered by the heat of the glass. Something that would have easily burned me a day ago. Damon offers the glass to me, I take it cautiously. The glass doesn't burn my skin like I assumed it would. Instead it just feels like a comforting warmth against the palms of my hands.

"You're tolerance for pain is going to be a lot stronger now." I nod my head lightly at him, wanting to listen to his voice but the scent of the blood wafting up into me is making me somewhat lightheaded. I take a moment before I rest the glass on my lips. I keep it there while I watch Damon's eyes stare at me. I'm a little bothered by the fact that he is right there watching. More of my human traits showing in this new life. Something that I am grateful for.

"You haven't flipped the switch off. You're still letting your human emotions be carried on with you. They're a lot more amplified, which is partially why you keep jumping me." I can hear his ego seeping out of his voice. I roll my eyes at him pulling the glass away from my lips. This would have annoyed me months ago but its a welcoming part of his personality now. With him being able to feel my emotions and being able to communicate without speaking is actually something really enjoyable for the most part. I don't have to think anything with having to ask it only a minute later.

"I have not been 'jumping' you." I put more emphasis on the word jumping. I don't hardly think of it as that.

"You're right. Harassment sounds like a much better word." Damon smirks at me just as he finishes his sentence. A part of me wants to be mad but I know that he's just playing with me. I smile at him turning his smirk into a smile. I'm a little more relaxed. A trick that I realized Damon just used on me. I smile a little bit more as I put the warm glass back up to my lips. I pause, then I tilt the glass back just enough to pour some of the contents into my mouth. I tilt the glass back even further letting all of the liquid touch my tongue.

I swallow, feeling the warmth slide down my throat. I stand there letting the taste dance on my tongue. My whole body already feels a change. The burning in my throat is dulled to a faint ember compared to the fire that was blazing earlier. All of my sense seem just a little bit more enhanced with the blood now flowing through me. I can see the moonlight streaming in through the kitchen windows. The shadows of the trees making their way into the house, forming against the white kitchen floor. My vision seems clearer, as my sense of smell is heightened too. I can smell Damon and his readiness for me. All of his animalistic tendencies mixing in with his own smell. I breathe in deeply, letting the smell entertain me again.

I close my eyes, finishing off the last drops in the glass. I set it down on the counter. The sound of the glass hitting the marble making a _clank_. I let my hands drop down to my sides. I try to take everything in, my senses feel like they are almost being overwhelmed. I can hear the ticking of the clock in the next room over. I can hear Damon's breathing as it comes out of his delicately parted lips.

I reach into my memories which seem sharper from the past day alone. Almost as if making it seem everything in the past day just happened a moment ago. I let my mind fall to the memory of waking up. I replay the whole scene in my head but in a faster motion. All of the feelings of being on the bed with Damon come rushing back, hitting me hard. I open up my eyes again, a new found hunger inside of me.

I push myself against Damon. There is no resistance despite what he had told me about other vampires being in the house. I push him against the door to the fridge, leaning myself up into him. My hips pressing against his with my black shirt ridding up my skin. Damon quickly take control back, turning me so that I am now against the fridge with him pressed up against me. I can't help but grin at him from the built up adrenaline. His lips immediately find mine again. I move my hand through his soft a silk hair.

"If you two are going to be doing that can it at least be when Jeremy and I aren't here?" Anna sounds a little irritated. I let my feet touch the ground again off of their tiptoes from being in Damon's reach. I hang my head, a habit from attempting to hide my once blushing skin. Embarrassment floods over me for letting myself get their far after Damon had already tried to warn me. I just knew that he wasn't going to push me off if I tried anything. Honestly there for a moment I hadn't cared that anyone could hear though. I'm relieved though that Anna walked in when she did. Just because I have this new life doesn't mean I want to make my sex life a public showing.

"You can't really expect to be opening up packages of blood in a house full of vampires and not expect someone to come wandering in." Anna's tone in her voice has already changed. Truly reminding me of a teenager from her little mood swings. Just like Jeremy. I smile as I watch Anna open up the fridge. I'm actually really happy for them.

"So what are we going to do today?" I beam up at Damon, my mood already changing from Anna's presence. There was something about her that made the air a little bit lighter. Not in the moments where she was mad because lets face it, she is terrifying for such a small girl. Then there's this side though. The one where her radiant smile shows with a true happiness breaking through her tough exterior. I can't help but smile as I watch her face light up as Jeremy walks into the room. I get so involved in watching them. Jeremy's smile is almost just as amazing as Anna's. I don't notice Damon watching me for a few moments.

_You're really happy for them, aren't you? _I can tell that he is genuinely curious to now about my outlook. Especially with everything that I had tried to protect Jeremy from. _  
_

_I am. _I smile even more as Jeremy wraps his arms around Anna. I do want him to be happy.

_And to think a few months ago you thought everyone was pure evil except for . _I can hear the triumph in his voice along with a smile.

I try to glare over at him but I can't manage to keep a menacing look on my face. Damon lets out a laugh, something that is so rare from him. His laughter absolutely mesmerizes me. I can get lost in this moment. I make sure to take all of it in. The perfect creases in his face, the way his eyes somewhat close as his melodic voice comes out.

The wind picks up outside, causing the dead leaves on the ground to bush against the pavement. I can hear the movement of them sliding across the black asphalt, crinkling against the roughness of it. I become more alert, forgetting everyone else in the room. I can pick up on a car driving down the road. The car makes a turn, hitting the gravel of the driveway up the boarding house. The small rocks making a grinding noise against the tires. I stand completely still. The car engine dies with the car door opening. The door doesn't slam shut but there is force behind it. The feet crunch into the rocks until eventually hitting the porch making the noise flat.

There is a soft knock on the door. I turn my head towards the direction, my eyes ridden with worry.

"Its just the teacher." Damon says not sounding enthusiastic but walking off to the front door anyways.

_How do you know? _I ask Damon through our connection instead of shouting it down the hallway.

_I know his smell. _


	33. Chapter 32

AN: So I was thinking about this story last night and I was like holy shit this is going to be really fucking long by the time I'm actually done. Slow progress? I get like 5 chapters out a week...I guess I'm actually trying to build a real story and not just trying to turn a fanfiction into pure sex with witty banter and an relationship in the end of all of it that really doesn't have a lot of substance. I want more than that. I want something fucking epic. I'll make it happen too, I just think this is going to be a lot longer than originally intended. Thank you for all of you fucking amazing support. It makes writing this just that much more worth it.

* * *

I decided that since Alaric is right outside the door that it probably isn't the best idea for me to be any where near him. Well not just that but there was also the fact that I still wasn't wearing anything to cover my legs.

"Get Jeremy out of here, take him upstairs somewhere." Damon calls back to Anna, his voice carrying up the stairs. I can hear them move quietly up the stairs then down the hallway, probably going into one of the many extra bedrooms. The front door creaks open, Alaric's footsteps walking into the house hitting the hard wood floor. The door shuts behind him. I can hear Alaric clear his throat. I can just imagine him standing there, with his hands on his waist, pushing his jacket back, his head hung lightly, bringing his eyes to glance upwards at Damon.

"Where are they?" Alaric asks. Just with Alaric, I can imagine Damon right now. A hard look to his features, his eyes turning just the same.

"By 'they" do you mean…" Damon is going for his natural response to things. Always having to be a 'dick' as Alaric once put it.

"Not now Damon, you can agitate me later. I'm here for Jenna and the kids." I'm still imagining the scene in my head. Alaric finally letting his hands rest as his jacket falls into place. His whole body positioning upright now as his eyes lock with Damon's.

"They can't be around you right now." Damon's tone has completely changed, letting some of his guard down to talk to Alaric.

"Why not?" After Alaric asks the question there is silence between them. Damon letting him figure it out on his own. It finally comes to him. "Oh no Damon, you didn't. This is just like you…" The anger is rising in his voice but Damon cuts him off.

"I didn't cause this! Jeremy turned himself with a vial of Anna's blood. Why? I don't know. Maybe he wanted this lifestyle or maybe he really loves her. I'm sure it's the latter of the two. You know what that's like right? You've been the vampire hunter chasing down Isobel for how long now?" The defense in his voice is clear.

"What about Elena?" Alaric asks quietly. The silence rings through the air.

"If I hadn't given her my blood she wouldn't be here right now." There is a small sadness to his voice. The silence falls between them once again before Damon decides its ok to talk. "I didn't hear anything that was going on. Not until it was too late. There was still vervain in my system, I was sleeping so deeply. I finally heard her voice whisper out my name. The word was so broken. I ran down the stairs. No matter how many times I had told myself that if something happened she would be ok in the end, she would be changed but at least I would still have her, I never really thought that seeing her dying would hurt so much." His voice is so distant. I know that he is reliving the memory as he is talking. I also know that the memory is fresh in his mind, playing back to him like a movie.

"Her skin was so pale, standing out brightly against the floor. Her neck was ripped open, the blood wouldn't stop flowing out. There was no way anyone could have saved her at that point. She was already dead by the time the EMTs showed up. Every part of me wanted to save her, it was so hard for me to hold back. Her body become so cold, my whole body wanted to tremble. I took her out of there, I couldn't have them take her. I brought her back here. It wasn't my choice for her to change like this. I would have never had it that way That memory of her dying will always be with me even though she is right here with me." My eyes are stinging by the end of his words. I can feel the pain aching in my chest. I haven't even had time to think about what it was like for Damon. My mind has been swarming with so many different thoughts. Its been hard enough for me now to control myself without pushing my mind to think about that. I feel somewhat guilty, even though there is nothing I could have done about what happened. I let the feelings run over me, I realize that the guilt and hurt are barely even my own, they're all his.

"I really don't know what to say. I feel like in some way we kind of understand each other." I can imagine Damon smirking at Alaric for a brief second at his words. "Do you know who it was? I thought that all the vampires from the tomb had been killed tonight."

"Katherine." it's the first time that he has said her name. I take in a sharp breath letting the sound of his voice send a jolt of fear through me.. My mind remembering just how terrifying she is. I have a feeling though that it was only a glimpse of her true nature.

"Katherine. The vampire that you were searching for…"

"For over a century, yeah I'm more aware of it than anyone is." Damon has a bitter edge to his voice.

"What are you going to do? I mean you have a newly turned Elena who I'm convinced is in love with you and then Katherine, the she-devil who will probably rip this town apart with you by her side if she gets her way." The question that Alaric asks never came up once in my own mind but I feel like it should have. I can't even fathom him going back to Katherine. I let my mind go to the Damon that I first met, the one that had more than determination fueling him, it was a conviction and a declaration.

"I get it, I do. You think I would drop Elena instantly or let Katherine completely finish her off." Damon is quiet after that. I have my back pressed against the wall, my arms wrapped around myself. "I had never thought I would love anyone after Katherine, just like I am sure you thought that you would never love anyone after Isobel. It isn't that way right now though, you love Jenna. She makes you happy again. Not just that but she makes you feel completely different then when you were with Isobel. Both of them bringing out different sides in you. That's why we understand each other Ric. Katherine at the time; when I was human, she presented this exciting life to me. It was so new and so different to me. It was an infatuation. In a sadistic way I did love Katherine. After all of the years that I spent living the life Katherine had promised for us, it was beyond repetitive but then Elena came along. I never once thought that she was Katherine, I never once looked at her like that. Elena has this personality that just radiates off of her and its pure. She has the most beautiful smile that could light up a whole room, she's the kind of girl that when people see her they wonder who she is because her charisma shows." I try not to move as I am still sitting on the floor in Damon's room with my back to the wall. I keep perfectly still as I listen to the rest of what he is saying.

"Shortly after I met her, I couldn't get her out of my head. There was always some thought of her lingering. I wanted so badly to get revenge on Stefan though, I had all of the emotions in my body shut of, just letting the rage take control of everything. Stefan managed to get her though, honestly it drove me even more. I wanted Katherine back but at the same time I was developing something for Elena. It killed me to see Stefan with her. Every glance they stole at each other, every little touch that they would sneak in, his hands wrapped up in hers it tore me apart inside. It was like I was reliving the past all over again. This time though it was a little reversed. She was the innocent one." I bite my bottom lip listening to him. These are things Damon would never admit to me. He knows that I can hear him right now but for once he is letting this out. If my heart could still beat it would be thrashing inside my chest right now.

"Elena makes me feel that some part of me can be someone better. For some reason she thought that I was worth saving when I have never given her one reason to. No matter how absolutely horrible I was to her or her friends, she managed to eventually look past all of that, thinking that I needed someone. The truth is, I did need her. I still do need her. She makes me feel a lot better than Katherine ever did and for that I wont let Katherine get away with what she did. I told you all of this because you're right, we do have an understanding for one another." That's why he just told Alaric everything. A part of me wishes that I could have been told all of this without having to hide from a human.

The full effect of his words are still there though. A small part of me always assumed that no matter what happened that he would always want Katherine. In the weeks leading up to this though I convinced myself otherwise. I happened to be right. I never would have ever even imagined being with Damon but now I can't see what my life would be without him.

I want so badly to run down the stairs. I want more than nothing to tell him that he was worth saving, that I would do it a million times over if I had to. I would go through all of the physical pain again and again if I meant that I could be with him. I know that everything he has done in his life has been wrong but I have that understanding that he was doing it at the time for someone he was convinced that he loved with all of himself. If I had been in his position, I could see his mentality for it. I would risk dying over and over again just to have those moments with him that I did. The connection that I have with him is so strong, so overwhelming at times but also so intoxicating.

I can't stay up here anymore. I need to see him.

I stand up, with the courage in myself to be able to be downstairs with Alaric there. I get to the staircase, the first stair creaking with the sound of my presence. Alaric and Damon become alert. I take another stop down the stairs as I communicate with Damon.

_I trust you. _

Damon nods his head at my words as I continue to slowly come down the staircase. The smell hits me hard. I stop on the staircase. Its warm and inviting. I can hear Alaric's heart rate increase causing his blood to pump faster. The smell becoming more alluring. I try so hard to keep all of my focus as the burning in my throat begins to build with the thirst as I can hear his blood working hard beneath his flesh. I wont let it control me right now.

_Focus on me. _His words come out just as clearly as they would have if he was speaking out loud.

I open up my eyes, letting them fall down the stairs and over to where Damon is still standing by the front door. I keep my eyes fully focused on him as I make my descent to the bottom. My bare feet hit the hard wood surface, the feel is smooth against my skin. I never once take my eyes off of him as I finally reach him, my body just barely inches from his. The confusion of the hunger for blood and the craving for Damon start mixing together in my head.

_Keep staying focused on me. _

I'm trying so hard to listen to his words. My body screaming out to touch at the same time it is yelling at me for the fresh taste of blood.

Now that I am closer I can hear the blood pulsating fast through Alaric's body. It takes everything that I have but I keep my focus on Damon with a howling for blood in the back of my mind.

"I know that you wanted to save me tonight. Just like how I wanted to save you so many times from yourself. I would do it over and over again though even if this was the result every time. You did give me a reason to save you though, it was the reason that I wanted to be that person. No one else could see it but I could see how damaged you were. There was a point where I realized that I wanted to be the one to be there for you. You keep yourself so guarded even with me, I just wanted you to know that even after what happened yesterday that I wouldn't change a thing if I meant I couldn't me with you. You're worth everything to me." I want him to feel what I am saying. I try to let my words show.

I am not too sure how the connection works since there really hasn't been a lot on it but at this moment it doesn't matter because I just want him to be fully aware of how much I really do love him. I lean myself into him just a small bit while I let my lips touch his. The kiss is soft, his lips working perfectly against mine.

I pull away, not wanting to get myself too worked up at the moment. I know that now is not the time with Alaric standing there. I let my eyes lock with Damon's once more, his light blue eyes swimming with a small hint of happiness behind them.

For a second I let myself think about how Isobel does it, doing what ever she wants with no remorse. I take the thought back though. Isobel isn't completely heartless like the front she puts on. She saved Damon for me. I think that most of it is just a mask to hide her misery. Then I think about how Katherine must do it, I can't wrap my head around it though. How she lives. Even in this new life, I don't want to shut this side of me off. I move so that I am standing next to Damon now as we both are facing Alaric.

"Well I guess we have to plan out a way to kill her."


	34. Chapter 33

AN: I know this one is kind of short but I'm exhausted. My work dicked me pretty hard this week in making me work 50 hours with no overtime because they started the new pay period in the middle of my work week. So to me it makes the extra ten hours effing pointless. Assholes. BUT, I did download a new app for my phone where I can make documents. So instead of actually working now I will probably be trying to write anyways. Not that I actually worked all of the time. There is a BBQ box that I like to sit on and troll the internet on my phone, especially fanfics. Then when I am sitting on the box I like to go "OMGWTFBBQ" then my manager comes over and sits on the other box as we discuss things like Twilight, fanfics and the novels that we both one day hope to write(by the way its a guy). SPEAKING OF WHICH I HAD THIS CRAZY PERSON COME IN AND TRY TO FIGHT ME OVER THE TATTOO ON MY WRIST! OMFG, my wrist says "La Tua Cantante" all you twi-hards know where that came from. Anyways so this douche asks me what it is I tell him its italian and he's like "RAGE FIT! I'm SICILIAN! WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" I felt like I was Taylor Swift, just some little innocent girl and he was Kanye West. I was like "I LIKED BEYONCE'S SINGLE LADIES TOO! DON'T KILL ME!" He really did try to fight me after that. All and all rough week. OH thanks again for all of your continued wonderful support! I can't say it enough. Long AN again -.- sorry

* * *

I can feel it rising up inside of me. The searing pain of the hunger trying to claw its way out of me. Starting out as a small cinder and combusting into a ravenous fire. I notice though that its not just the hunger. There is an instinct inside of me that wants to have my teeth sink into the tenderness of someone's neck as the warm blood comes spilling out of it.

I can feel my body wanting to change at the thought. I close my eyes, tilting my head towards the direction of the ground. I can tell that Damon is trying to communicate with me but I can't really hear his voice breaking through. His distant voice sounds almost as if there is a haze clouding my hearing. The further away his voice gets to me the louder I can hear the heart beat getting louder until its pounding in every corner of my mind.

I can tell that Damon is trying to break through but the hunger is so strong in me that I can't get my mind to unblock. The beating of Alaric's heart is just getting louder. All of a sudden the noise of his blood coursing gets quiet.

_Get up stairs. Now. _There is a sharp tone to his voice but I know that it is for a reason. I open up my eyes to see that Alaric has moved into another room. I nod my head with a little more enthusiasm then intended. I don't blur up the stairs, I can't find the energy within myself. Instead I let my feet pound against the staircase until I make it into Damon's room.

The door shuts behind me, pushing a gust of air as it closes. I slide with my back down against the wall, my shirt slightly riding up by the time I reach the floor. I run my hands through my hair, letting strands of the chocolate brown dangle in front of my face. I repeat this, letting my hair fall and pushing it back. The repetitiveness of it is a small distraction. I stop running my hands through my hair when I can hear their voices break through the silence. My hair falls back behind my ears while I place my hands on my knees.

"We'll be fine." Damon states flatly to Alaric.

"How can you be sure?" It doesn't surprise me. He has spent the past few years of his life killing vampires; hunting for Damon to be exact, now here he is trying to help. Of course there would be doubt in his voice.

"I know that she'll listen to me. So far she has shown so much of herself, even just now, she wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. She'll stay where she is until you're gone. I know Elena and I trust her." Damon is giving me a lot of credit that I'm not too sure I completely deserve. If I didn't have him I don't know what I would be going through right now.

"You can't let her turn out like you did." Alaric has somewhat of an edge to his voice.

"I wont let her be a monster." Even from this far away I can hear a deep sadness in his voice. With that I can hear the clinking of glass against one another. it's the sound of liquor bottles hitting one another as one is being pulled from the back of the cabinet. The sound of the amber liquid is being poured into one of the glasses.

Damon had been doing so much better without drinking. With the most recent events with Katherine I understand why he is doing it at this moment. A sadness washes over me, regardless its not my fault what has happened but the small pain and concern are still there.

"Now that I know you have the kids here, what am I going to tell Jenna?" I can't help but somewhat feel bad for Alaric. He loves Jenna, I can't imagine what all of this may be like for him.

"Honestly, I don't know a lie good enough to tell."

"I don't want to tell her anything that will hurt her. I think that the whole "running away" story would hurt her too much after everything that has happened in the past year." Its almost as if I can hear the different thoughts running through Alaric's head as he is talking.

"Did the thought ever cross you that it might just be a better solution to tell her?" I can imagine Damon sitting there in one of the over sized arm chairs. His posture slouched with a glass full of the golden liquor lazily in his hand as it rests on the arm of the chair.

"That her niece and nephew are a vampires? That all of this is real?" Alaric is more of asking it in disbelief of the audacity of what Damon had just asked.

"Think about it. How are you going to protect her from Katherine? She's an easy target. How are you going to explain what happened with John. There is a lot more too this." He has the logic of it down. Just like how I wanted to protect Jeremy I want to protect Jenna. I let myself think about it though, how well did protecting Jeremy work out? He fell in love with Anna and ended up just like I have. I want to fight about it, the urge is in me but I know he is right. It just didn't want it this way.

"I think that you're right. She does need to be protected."

"She wont be safe anymore. Elena might be able to convince the witch to put a spell on the house pushing out all vampires that have entered. It wont help her when she leaves though. Katherine wont stop, she'll never be satisfied enough." In my head I can still see him sitting there, this time a stern look on his face as the glass is gripped tighter in his hand. His black hair hanging loosely around the sides of his face. "You'll have to tell her. If you need it, I can go with you, honestly it might be safer that way too. I'll have to leave Elena here with Anna."

"We can go tonight."

"I want to be back before the sun rises." I can hear the glass hit the metal serving tray. Damon knows that I was listening in.

_I'll be back before then. I'll be here with you when you'll want to sleep. I'm….sorry for this. _The apology comes out with a little bit of a struggle. I apology is for having to tell Aunt Jenna everything. I know its for the right reasons though. I don't saying anything back but I listen as the door closes behind them.I'm a little surprised. I thought that I had to be in the same room as him to hear him but I guess its more of in the same vicinity.

* * *

Alaric and Damon walk into the brightly florescent lit white walls of the hospital. No one seems to notice the two men dressed in almost identical all black, except for Alaric's faded brown jacket. The nurses are behind their station, too busy with files and patients to pay any attention to them.

They turn down a hallway where doors to rooms are open with the faint buzzing of TV's faintly cutting through the air. They make it to the end of the hallway where the door to Jenna's room is cracked open. The TV in the corner of the room is shut off, the curtains to the window closed shut. The tan light blue curtain that hangs around the bed is pushed to the very back of its track against the wall. The only light in the room is coming from the small lamp on the bedside table. Alaric walks into the room while Damon stands in the doorway, leaning himself against the frame with his shoulder pressed against the wood panel.

Jenna's hair is disheveled, the golden strands of it laying on her pure white pillowcase. There is a knot of tissue underneath her bruised skin on her forehead. Jenna's eyes flutter open, fighting off the sleep that was wanting to take her. The dripping from the IV along with the heart monitor are the only noises in the room for a moment.

"Alaric.." Her face lets a smile spread across it at the sight of him. Her eyes move to the open hallway outside of her room where Damon is standing blocking the view. "Damon?" Jenna asks, confused by his prescience. A silence falls between the three of them. Jenna's eyes becoming more frantic with movement as she glances between the two of them reading the sullen look on Alaric's face with austere look on Damon's.

"Where's Jeremy and Elena?" The concern is seeping out of every syllable as her eyes flicker back in forth. Jenna sits up in the bed so her back is now resting against the pillows.

"There is something that I need to tell you."


	35. Chapter 34

AN: Hopefully this will make up for the short chapter yesterday. Thanks again for all of the support! No witty ramblings from me today cause I was asleep for 12 hours after I posted yesterday so nothing really happened lol.

* * *

The rate for the machine monitoring Jenna's heart begins to increase rapidly. The beeping becoming more frequent with each passing second.

"No, no, no. You're lying to me. Why are you doing this?" The anger and confusion are in her voice as she looks at Alaric, her eyes completely focused on him.

"Its something that you need to know Jenna. I can only protect you to a certain extent. Do you really believe what this hospital has told you? That someone broke into your house? That you just managed to not see anything but were lucky enough to just get knocked out unconscious while John is down in intensive care?" As Alaric is talking the moments of yesterday are starting to click in her head.

"No one broke in….I heard someone talking on a cell phone outside the house. I opened up the front door and it was Elena. I told her to come inside. There was something different about her though, in her demeanor. The way she moved even seemed a little off. I was trying to talk to her but she kept trying to brush me off. I went to walk away into the living room but I felt someone grab me by my hair. I remember the splitting pain that went through my head as it made contact with the wall. I woke up here…" Jenna lets her words trail off as she looks around the room almost in a daze. "…Elena" Her eyes move back to Alaric's but it is Damon who moves over to the hospital bed.

"That wasn't Elena because Elena was with me when that happened. You said that something seemed off about her. That's because it wasn't Elena." Damon says looking down at Jenna who's eyes are filled with fear.

"If it wasn't Elena….was it a…." She doesn't say the word but looks between the two of them for conformation.

"Yes it was. Her name is Katherine. She looks like Elena in so many ways but you noticed the differences. Katherine is unfathomably dangerous. I wouldn't be telling you all of this if it wasn't absolutely necessary for your safety. She knows who you are now, she's been invited into your house which she will have access to at any time." Alaric is sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, his body positioned so it is facing Jenna.

"How can I believe any of this?" Jenna asks, wanting the disbelief of all of this to be true.

Damon blurs to the door shutting it in an instant then blurs back to the side of Jenna's bed. Jenna's eyes go wide, the fear emitting off of her. Alaric leans closer to Jenna, putting his arms art her sides.

"Don't panic. I know this a lot take in. Damon is…" Alaric pauses looking back at Damon trying to find a word to really describe how he has been. "..helpful." Alaric looks back at Jenna, a soft look to his features, a small attempt to calm Jenna. "I wont let anything happen to you. I know that this is a lot to take in. I want you to understand though that I will be here for you."

Jenna nods her head, her golden hair falling around her face. She folds her hands in her lap as she begins to fidget with her fingers. Jenna looks down at her hands, continuing to let them twine with one another before she looks back up at Alaric. "Where are Elena and Jeremy?" Alaric's façade of the smile he was putting on for Jenna falters. His mind flickering for an answer.

"Elena and Jeremy are at the boarding house right now. They'll be safe. You can come see them when the hospital releases you." Damon's voice is calming, Alaric looks back at him with a small grateful smile with his eyebrows raised.

Jenna doesn't smile at them but tries to at least keep her composure with everything. "I'm just waiting on my white blood cell count to go down, they said when the levels drop back down to normal I will be able to leave. I don't know when that will be." Jenna said trying not to roll her eyes at the thought of being in the hospital for days.

"I'll be here when you're released." Alaric gets up off of the bed, smiling down at Jenna. Her face lights up with his smile returning with one of her own. Even with her fragile appearance the smile that he managed to put on her face made her look not nearly as damaged. Alaric leaned down one last time, this time planting a soft kiss on her lips. Damon adverted his eyes trying not to notice as he puts his hands in his pockets of his jeans digging his fingers deep inside the fabric.

The door to the room opens as a nurse with her clipboard in hand walks into the room. Her platinum blonde hair is pulled back loosely into a hair tie. A few strands fall out and to the front of her tanned face. She pushes her hair back, her eyes still scanning over the papers. Her green eyes divert away from the clipboard finally noticing Damon and Alaric standing there.

"Visiting hours are over. You can come back tomorrow. I have to inject some morphine into her IV so she can sleep, if you two wouldn't mind." Her eyes go back and forth between the two of them. Alaric gives Jenna one last glance as Damon is already making his way out of the room.

They both make it out into the hallway, walking in sync with one another to the hospitals entrance.

"Do you really think that its going to be safe to have her around Elena and Jeremy?" Alaric asks as he sticks his hands in his jacket pocket pulling the jacket to his sides revealing his plaid button down shirt.

"You wont let anything happen to her. Just like I wont let Elena lose control." Damon says glancing over at Alaric as they make it out into the cool air of the night. The sun breaking through on the horizon causing the edges of the darkened sky to turn pink.

"We still need to discuss what to do with Katherine." Alaric says as they both stand there on the sidewalk.

"I know that we do but I promised Elena I would be home before the sun came up." Damon nods his head in the direction of the breaking sunrise.

"I'll be over later today. There's still a lot that even I don't know about all of this."

Damon just nods his head at Alaric letting their conversation end as he disappears into the fading darkness.

* * *

I'm laying on Damon's over sized bed. The t-shirt that I still haven't taken off is bunched up towards my chest showing my stomach. I have my legs crossed with them positioned upward. I keep running my hands across the duvet. Each soft stroke leaving a small tingling to my fingertips.

I don't even hear him come in but I feel his presence. I lean my head to the side so I can see around my legs that were blocking my view of the door.

No matter how many times I have seen him I can't get adjusted to just how gorgeous he really is. His perfect bone structure is a compliment to his other amazing features. Like his eyes, his light blue eyes that I can get lost in. I keep looking at him in amazement, my eyes following his movements as he walks over to the bed.

Damon crawls onto the bed the positions himself so he is on top of me. His arms are on each side of me as he has himself propped up so he is looking down at me. His eyes slowly moving up and down my body. His emotions are blank, I can't read anything coming off of him.

I close my eyes and breathe in. Remembering his scent from when I was human. This time it is more intoxicating, which I didn't think was possible. I let a smile spread across my face, my arms on the bed above my head. Dark, thick and sweet. It is like the scent of amber, rich and some what earthy sending a tingle at the back of my nose. Vanilla mixed in with it making it a lighter smell and less musky. Its what I was never able to exactly pinpoint as a human.

I open up my eyes to see Damon smirking at me. I return his smirk with my smile widening. I wiggle a little underneath him. He takes his hand, stroking the side of my face. Damon moves his face a little closer to mine, his lips only an inch away from mine.

"You're beyond beautiful." His words are barely a whisper. Something that I probably wouldn't have been able to hear before this. I lean up into him, my lips touching his. His kiss is delicate, almost as if I wasn't like him. The blank canvas that he was a moment ago is gone, I can feel a spark inside of him. Despite the delicacy of the kiss I can feel the passion behind it.

I run my hands underneath his shirt, feeling his muscles tense at my touch. I drag my fingers from his chest to his back as I pull his body down closer to mine. Our kissing stays slow paced, there is a longing behind it but not the usual urgency that we both tend to show. His hand slides down to the loose black cotton pants of his that I am wearing. The cloth easily slides off, with a toss they fly to the wall hitting it lightly then sliding down to the top of the dresser. Then his hand moves up to his shirt that I have been wearing ever since I arrived here. I arch my back so it comes off with ease.

I move my hands to his dark colored jeans. The button comes undone quickly, something that I would have had to fidget with before. They slide down from around his waist and down his toned legs where he kicks off the bunched up denim onto the floor. I move my fingers under the waistband to his tight fitting boxers. I try to keep myself from grinning with his lips still on mine. In an instant his boxers are gone too. I can feel his hardness pressing against my thighs. I let out a small moan with the pressure.

We break away for a moment while he takes off his shirt, I unhook my bra with one fast snap, tossing it to the side of the room where most of the clothes are starting to pile up on the dark red Victorian rug that covers most of the wooden floor of his room. The only thing that is left are the thin lace boy short panties. Damon slowly slides them off of me, the sheer lace touching the sides of my legs while sliding down. I cross my legs in reaction to having nothing on, timidly looking up at him.

He forces a hand in between my legs so I part them. His hands run up and down my thighs. My breathing becomes heavy wanting him to touch me just a little bit more. His fingers run across the lips to my entrance. I quiver with his touch even more as a vampire, still not able to keep my composure. He traces lines there before finally sliding two of his fingers in, my wetness smally spilling out. His fingers move in and out slowly, my back arching each time they re-enter. Damon keeps his eyes looking down at me as I bite my bottom lip. My whole body wanting so much more right now.

Damon can sense what I want so he pulls away, sitting up on the edge of the bed he motions over for me to come over. I get up off of the bed, slowly walking to where he is sitting. I look down then back up at him. I take his hardness in my hand as I position myself to be on top of him. He slides in, my eyes widening a little bit as he stretches me. I can feel him warm and pulsating inside of me.

I start out slow, moving myself up and down on his length. Both of our breathing has increased with our pace. A soft moan escape his lips as I continue to move myself on him. I keep my arms around his neck as he keeps his around my back keeping me in place.

Damon holds me a little bit tighter, pulling me into him as he begins to thrust himself into me. I bury my face in his neck as he gets faster with each movement. My lips are so close to his neck, the instinct in me starts to kick in. I can feel myself wanting to change, the urge coursing through me. The immeasurable pleasure causes me to not have complete control over myself. I can feel myself change. The fangs extending out.

Damon notices but doesn't seemed phased by it. I pull away from his neck just a little bit. My face still not visible to his. Damon moves his hands down to my waist, getting a tight grip on me. His hands force my body to move up in down in a fast motion. My back arches in pleasure, my face still not changing back. I can feel myself about to reach my climax. I grip onto him, loosing complete control I move my lips down to his neck. My teeth puncture his flesh, letting a luke warm blood come rushing out.

Damon doesn't stop, instead he keeps thrusting himself into me, the pace even faster now. I can feel his nails dig into my hips. The euphoria of being able to bite him with him being inside of me causes me to rupture. I let out a loud moan as I break away form his neck. A small line of blood falling from his neck down to his chest. I feel him explode inside of me in that moment, the thrusts slowing down until they completely stop. I move my head back down to his neck, my face back to normal now. I lick up the remaining blood; the taste staying in my mouth. I look down at the puncture from my teeth and the wound is already healing.

It wasn't the same as drinking human blood but there was still a sweet taste to it. The action of it is what my body was wanting. Damon lays both of us back onto the bed. I keep my head on his chest, some what embarrassed of what happened. His hands run through my long hair.

"I should have told you that even if you stop the hunger, sometimes your body still craves the bite." I frown a little bit at his words.

"I'm sorry." I say quietly, Damon lets out a small laugh. I glare up at him, just causing him to let out another laugh at my attempt at making myself look mad.

"Don't be sorry; trust me, I liked it." I can hear the smirk in his voice. With that I slide off of him and to his side where his arm is now wrapped around me.

"I should have known you would have been into something twisted like that." I say in a sarcastic tone as I close my eyes.

"Its not sadistic, its in our nature." I want to say something back to him but I find that my body is actually wanting sleep. I moves my arms up to my chest where I then snuggle against his body tightly. My head resting on his arm. I welcome the sleep with his arms wrapped around me.


	36. Chapter 35

The sun is beaming, its bright rays streaming through the trees. I run out into the opening, my hair flowing behind me with the light air pushing against it. The sun even brighter without the trees blocking its path now. I can feel the warmth of the sun flow over my body. I smile letting my skin soak up the rays.

The smile that I was wearing on my face breaks as I see a figure in the light. I don't even have to think about who it is. Her long brown hair is in loose curls, moving with the wind. She turns around to face me, her olive skin is pale but glistens in the rays of the sun. Her smile catches me off guard, I'm frozen in place. The grass from here is going up to both of our ankles, longer than what I remembered from here. The trees are in full bloom, an abundance of leaves covering the outskirts of this clearing.

She's wearing a familiar long sleeved blue shirt, the few buttons that exist at the top of the shirt are undone revealing the top of her chest. Her necklace is hanging down low, falling right where the shirt ends. The shirt is my shirt, my face scrunches up in a moment of confusion. Of course she took it out of my room. My jeans are hugging her body the same way that they form to my own body. She has an index finger in each pocket, slightly tugging at the jeans, exposing some of her hips. The same mannerism that I have done countless times.

"I think that I have you pretty down. I mean I look just like you but its easy to follow how you move. Simple for a human." The smile she was wearing falls at the last word. "But you're not human anymore. It was just as easy to get into your head though. You're not nearly strong enough yet to stop me from entering." I want to run but I know it is pointless. She's controlling what is going on, something that Damon never did to me. "Once again you seem to be ruining my plans. You weren't suppose to be turned."

The way she is speaking is almost as if she seems bored as she makes her way through the long grass over to me. She has a sway with the way that she moves, like she is walking to a beat in her own head.

"I figured with a scene like this that it might keep you at ease a little bit, but really what do I care?" With her words the leaves on the tress fall away fading to brown as they fall to the ground crumbling with decay. The grass that is at our feet turns to a faded gold, no longer having a shimmer to it. Dark cloud roll in above us, the ray from the sun disappearing behind them. The warmth that was heating up my flesh is gone with it.

Her face is close to mine now, her dark brown eyes filled with a fire. I can almost see the thoughts she has dancing behind them. "You know what I am here. I take what I want. You obviously know that we both have an interest in the same man. I'll get him back but before I do I will just have to teach him a lesson about falling for other girls."

My whole body is trembling as she is running her fingertips up and down my arms. She moves her body closer to mine so they are now touching. I can feel my bottom lip trembling, her lips getting too close for comfort to mine. "I claim what's rightfully mine." She's moved even closer to me. Her hands are now moving down my sides and resting on my hips. I can feel her cool breath roll across my face. I close my eyes, I can feel her lips just an inch away from mine.

With a force she pulls me into her, my hips crashing hard against hers. I close my eyes even tighter, too frightened to open them, to see the woman who ended my life. "It disgusts me to see him showing all of these _emotions. _I'll get him back though, Damon will always belong to me." Her bottom lips brushes against mine from the close proximity.

Her lips crash against mine, my eyes widen in shock as my body stiffens. I can feel her face change as her fangs extend. The sharp ends of them pricking my bottom lip, a small trickle of blood entering my mouth.

I sit up quickly in my bed, my breathing heavy from my dream. The sheets fall off from around me exposing my bare chest. I look over next to me, the spot where Damon had been laying next to me is empty. The impression from his body still embedded into the sheets. The door to the room is closed. The heavy blood red curtains to the room are closed shut, stopping the sun from coming in. I can see the light from outside breaking through from underneath, the bright light hitting the wood floor.

After the nightmare that I just had I want nothing more than to be able to go over to the window to see the sun with its incandescent rays flowing down on me. I solemnly get out of the bed, walking over to Damon's dresser. I open up the top drawer to see it filled with some of my clothes. I gratefully pull out a pair of jeans along with a tight fitting white v-cut shirt. I slide them on then make my way down the stairs.

I can hear two voices talking in the parlor. One of them is Damon's, I would be able to pick his voice out of anywhere.

"If it wasn't for the situation that Elena is in I wouldn't be here right now." The other voice is just as familiar. I pick up my pace, rushing into the parlor. I stop at the entrance, the both of them looking at me.

Her dark black hair is curled around the soft features of her faze. Her hazel eyes staring at me intently. Bonnie's face is so different from what I remember. She used to be so full of life, a smile always on her face. Now all I could see on her features was grief, the life in her eyes extinguished from the loss of her grandmother all because of Damon. Bonnie's body goes a little stiff from my presence. I expect to be ravenous around her, not having fed in hours. Instead I can smell something potent. The odor is bittersweet, making my nose scrunch up in distaste. I then remember the day that I gave her the perfume bottle filled with vervain extract. The hunger that I should have had is repressed, making being around her bearable.

"There's no reason to think Elena is going to do anything. I'm here to stop her and I'm sure you can do the same thing but I happen to trust her." Damon says, his eyes falling back onto Bonnie.

"If I'm going to do this I need to know that I can trust you." Damon's eyes watch Bonnie's every movement as she opens up the grimoire, the old pages being turned slowly at her touch. A few pages before the end of the book Bonnie stops. Her eyes going over the scripted words. She lifts her head back up, her eyes moving back to Damon's. "I need you to make a blood promise to me."

For an instant I can see a flicker go across Damon's face, his calm resolve fading for a brief second before he collects himself again. "I need to know that you wont go back to the way you were as long as you are in Mystic Falls. I also need you to promise me that you'll get rid of Katherine. I wont let anything happen to this town."

Damon doesn't wait to respond, he walks a little closer to Bonnie. The Bonnie I once knew would have backed away from his advances. This new Bonnie was a lot stronger though, she didn't show any fear. She kept her position, her eyes hard. "I'll do it."

Bonnie nods her head. "You do this and I will make Elena and Jeremy rings so they can go out into the sun. I wont let them suffer just because they're doomed to live a life of darkness and be plagued by your presence."

"You're making this really hard for me because you know I wont risk saying anything." Damon says clinching his teeth together at the end of his sentence, his jaw becoming tight.

"I know that you wont risk Elena be completely unhappy so yes I am using it to my advantage to be a complete bitch to you. Its not like you don't deserve it." Damon's face isn't as hard anymore with Bonnie's words.

"I do appreciate you doing this for Elena, I know that if it was anyone else you wouldn't have done it but it doesn't make the act anything less than what it is. Also….thank you…for the night at the Founder's Day celebration." Its hard for him to get the words out, to make them sound like a genuine apology. I can feel it though, I can tell that Bonnie can too. She's taken off guard at his comment, never expecting to hear anything but a witty retort from him. Her hardened features soften for a moment before she gets her resolve back.

There's so much that I want to say. I want it to be like old times. I want to run to her and tell her all of the good and bad things that are happening. The change that I see in Damon, how much I really do love him. I want to tell her about Katherine coming into my dreams. There are so many things but I keep myself at the entrance to the parlor, letting them continue on with what they are doing.

Bonnie opens up her purse, producing a small dagger. I can see on the handle of it an inscription in Latin. _Magus._ Engraved in perfect cursive into the polished handle. "Do you know how this works?" Bonnie asks turning to Damon, the dagger gripped tightly in her right hand.

"I've only heard things about it, rarely does anyone actually do anything like it. I know that Katherine did with Emily."

"Katherine made a promise to Emily that she would never hurt our bloodline but in exchange Emily had to do whatever Katherine wanted. To seal the deal Katherine gave some of her blood to Emily from a wound that was cut from her enchanted dagger. If Katherine were to ever hurt any of Emily's descendants it would ultimately destroy Katherine. You're going to promise me that none of you will not spill the blood of any innocents in Mystic Falls along with the promise that you will end Katherine." Bonnie looks back in between Damon and I.

_You're going to make this promise? _I still haven't fully convinced myself that he is going to kill Katherine. The disbelief still runs through my mind.

_I'm doing this for you. _His voice is set and stern. My once beating heart feels an ache as it wants to beat rapidly from his words.

_You know what you're risking? _I feel somewhat stupid for asking but at the same time I want to make sure that he understands the extent to what he is doing.

_I hardly consider this a risk Elena, this is a promise that I will bring Katherine down. _The fear that I have rising in my chest is from the thought that I have that he might not be able to kill her like is is promising. That once he see's her again he wont be able to kill her, breaking his promise to Bonnie and killing him. Leaving me with no one.

Her eyes falling back onto Damon who already had the palm of his hand held out for her. Bonnie took his hand in hers. She paused for a moment, the dagger dangling above his pale skin. I could hear her whispers in Latin. The air in the room becoming colder. I instinctively wrap my arms around myself. I see the sharp end of the dagger drag across his skin. His face doesn't even flinch, I know that the pain is nothing but a prick of the skin to him. The bright red of blood coming out of the fresh wound. Bonnie grabs a small glass vial that had been sitting on the cherry colored wooden table. She tilts his hand, putting the glass under the wound. The blood streams slowly down inside of the vial. The bright red now changed to a crimson as it begins to collect. The vial fills up just as the wound on Damon's hand begins to heal. Damon place's his hand back down by his side.

"Do you have the jewelry?" Bonnie is all business. The change in her is significant. I frown lightly at the thought. I can still feel the want of being able to talk to her along with the guilt for what I have dragged her into.

Damon pulls two rings out of a long faded velvet box. One ring is larger and black, looking a lot like his, along with John's and Alaric's. The other ring is a lot smaller in comparison. The band of it is silver while there is a black face in the middle, a small crest in the middle of it. I can tell the that smaller ring is for a female but that it is also barring the Salvatore crest.

I watch Bonnie curiously as she places both of her hands flat above the rings. Bonnie looks down at the grimoire, scanning the page for a quick remembrance of the words. Bonnie closes her eyes as she once more begins to chant in Latin. "_Dedi lemma tutela ex lux lucis_." There is a flash of light so bright that I have to cover my eyes behind my arm. The light disappears and Bonnie has stopped talking. Her body is stiff though. The rings stay lay perfectly untouched on the table.

Bonnie doesn't say anything but picks up her bag making her way out of the parlor. She stops right next to me, the both of us looking at each other. I open my mouth to say something to her, anything, but I can't find any words. Her tough exterior fades as we look at each other. I can see her wanting to say something to me also but I don't think that she can find the words either.

"I'm sorry." My words are nothing but a broken whisper. Bonnie walks past me, making her way to the door.

"Don't forget our promise Damon." Bonnie's voice calls out clearly from the front door before I hear it slam shut. I close my eyes tightly when I hear them impact then open them back up to see Damon opening and closes the palm of his hand. Flexing the area that had just been cut open but no traces of the wound remained.

"Is it that easy? I mean to make these things?" I ask walking down the few steps to the table that Damon is standing at, my fingers running across the cool metal of the rings.

"No. Bonnie is the only one that can do it. No one can just become a witch, if that was the case I we would have a lot more of them running around. The only reason Bonnie can is because it has been in her bloodline since the beginning. That's the only way that witches can become who they are. I don't know how it all started before that. I just know that now they have to be from a bloodline to be able to wield the magic." Damon is now also looking down at the rings with me. His fingers slide over the smaller of the two.

Damon takes his hand, bringing my right one in his. Damon slides the ring onto my ring finger, the metal feeling cool against my skin. "This ring was my mothers. She passed away when I was fifteen. My father kept her ring in his room, after everything that had happened I took the ring back. I've been holding it all of these years. I figured it would be the best option for you, its not too extravagant like the rest of ours are, it wont stand out that much." His eyes are still looking down at the ring resting on my finger. My eyes are down on it also, the perfectly engraved crest sitting beautifully against the black plating of face of the ring.

We look up at each other at the same time. My hands lightly trembling from his touch. Damon leans down to me, his lips placing softly against my own. My eyes close in natural reaction to his touch. His lips break away from mine but I can feel myself wanting so much more.

I push my hair back behind my ear, looking down at the ground in a small embarrassment from always having these thoughts that still send a warm flush over my body.

"Why don't you test it out?"


	37. Chapter 36

AN: I know this one is shorter but I'm super tired. I hope I don't have a crap ton of grammatical errors from lack of sleep lol. OH OK SO, I don't know if any of you are fans of the game/anime Devil May Cry(I love the game) but I was sitting here yesterday drawing a picture of Dante(thats the main character) and I was like "Omg if they make a movie that should have Ian Somerhalder play Dante, he looks just like him." So curiosity got me and I googled to see if they are making a movie, and they are. Not just that but a few websites are claiming the the confirmed cast actually fucking includes Ian Somerhalder as Dante(I'm convinced that I'm psychic now). I don't want to get my hopes up until more information comes out. But if this all really is true then me and the movie execs think a lot a like. Plus Ian would be super fucking sexy as Dante, all bad ass with a giant sword and a gun going "pew pew kill demons pew pew." So then I spent my whole night at work imagining Ian as Dante. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you should google image Dante from Devil May cry then picture Ian as him. Pure sex.

* * *

I look down at my ring, the silver still managing to glisten in this dull light. I look back up at Damon, his face expecting.

_There's no reason to be afraid. Do you really think that Bonnie would hurt you? _

I don't respond to Damon's question but instead look at the closed window. My chest aching to go over to the window to see the sun.

_She did help save me. _

I know that he is right but I can't help for a part of me to still be afraid. I remember the day in the motel, when Bonnie and I were trying to escape. How bad the vampires flesh burned from the sun touching him. How his skin looked like embers. I shake away the thought, I wont let it control me.

I walk over to the window, pausing with my hand on the heavy curtain. I look back at Damon who is right behind me. His arms wrap around my waist as his chin rests on my shoulder. I can't help but smile. I run my free hand across his arm that is around my waist. I close my eyes enjoying the moment. I capture the moment in its entirety, knowing that I will be able to remember this perfectly. The feel of his body on mine, the amber scent coming off of him. The way that his hair is slightly disheveled from just getting up not too long before I had.

I open my eyes back up. I can see a small smile on Damon's face making the corners of his mouth crease the tiniest bit. His smile just makes mine even bigger. I feel a new strength in me knowing that he is here with me. I gently pull back the curtain the smallest bit, the sun streaming in. Even though that its bright rays aren't effecting me I still put my hand out in disbelief.

I slowly move my hand about in the light. Watching my hand slowly move through the dancing dust particles. I do this for a moment, amazed by every little detail that I can see. My hand is feeling warm from the heat of the sun coming in through the glass. I remember how good it used to make me feel. Even though it has only been a few days I feel like it has been so much longer. The days seem so much longer to me now.

Damon reaches out from behind me, one hand coming off of my waist. He pushes the curtain aside with force. The metal rings of the curtain scraping against the rod that is holding it up. I close my eyes shut tightly, the brilliant rays of light brighter than what my eyes could handle. I open them again, this time I can even see small rays combing through my eyelashes almost glittering.

The smile I had been wearing a moment ago grows even bigger. I run to the front door, breaking free of Damon's grasp. I pull the door open quickly rushing out from the cover of the drive way to the uncovered grassy area.

The sun hits me hard but I cherish its warmth. A grateful change from the darkness of the house I have been confined to. I spin around, my hair cascading behind me with the light breeze. Damon is walking over to me, finally emerging from the shadows of the house. The sun hits his skin, making his pale features glow perfectly. I still don't believe that I can fully comprehend his beauty. His dark hair glistens with each movement in the light.

Feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin brings back the haunting memory of the dream that I had last night. My smile immediately fades with my eyes growing wide in shock. Every single second the of the dream comes rushing back to me. Every chilling move that Katherine made.

Damon realizes that there is something wrong, he rushes to my side, his hands resting gently on my own. I look up into his piercing blue eyes. I can't help but have flashes of Katherine's dark brown eyes that were filled with nothing malevolence making her eyes seem darker than what they should be. I shake my head lightly, trying to push away the flashes of her.

"What is it?" His voice never breaks its calm. Something that I need right now.

I keep my bottom lip from trembling though I can't seem to stop the shaking of my fingers in the palms of his hands. Even now the warmth of the sun can't seem to push away the cold of the memories of Katherine, how she made it disappear.

"This morning, right before I woke up…" I cut myself off, the image of Katherine pressed up against me catches my words in my throat.

"What happened?" Though his voice still doesn't show it I can sense the small amount of worry that he isn't able to hide from me. I bring myself back to him, trying my hardest not to remember how terrifying she was but at the same time she still had a beauty to her. That part scared me even more, there was something intriguing about her.

"Katherine was in my dream. I don't think that it was just a dream though. I think that she can do what you can except she manipulates my dream. She was there this morning. I don't know if its possible but…" This time I can sense the animosity in him, a raging fire now. I manage to finish my sentence, "…I'm guessing that she can."

"She had to have been close to you to be able to do that. Which means that she was in the house this morning when I was with Bonnie." His hands fall from mine, his hand balling up into fists. I can see his nostrils flare as he clenches his jaw together grinding his teeth.

I can feel my insides wanting to turn. My body wants to paralyze its self in absolute fear, knowing that the chill I felt from her this morning was real.

"What happened?" I can still hear him grinding his teeth together, the anger hasn't subsided and I don't think that it will for a while.

"She took me out into the clearing of the forest, the one that I used to go to with you. It was different though, the grass was a lot longer. I had forgotten about the horror of it until I was out here. The sun was out, she was standing out in the middle waiting for me to come to her. She changed the dream though, making the leaves from the trees, the grass and the sun tarnish and dissolve into nothing." I stop, taking a moment to look up at the sun expecting for my dream to repeat itself right now.

It doesn't though so I keep going. "She told me that she is going to get you back, that I set her plans back just a little bit with me being turned. Then the strangest thing happened, she pulled me into her and she kissed me. I could feel her face change, her teeth scraped the inside of my mouth. That's when I woke up." I had almost lost myself in remembering the dream. My eyes staring off into the distance.

Damon is quiet. I look over to him. I see the scarlet color of blood coming from in between Damon's clenched fingers, then flowing down in lines out of his palms and down his arms. I snap out of the almost trance that I was in. I grab his hands, putting them in mine. His blood smearing across my own arms. I can see the fire behind his eyes as he also seems to snap out of a trance that he was in.

"I wont let her do this to you." His words are sharp.

"And I wont let her do this to you." I say to him as I grip his hands tightly in my own. He still hasn't let up, his nails are still digging into the palms of his hands. Blood still evenly flowing from the wounds and onto both of us. I can't seem to break through to him. I do the only other thing that I can think will have a chance of working.

I lean into Damon, both of our hands are in between us. I place my lips softly on his as I close my eyes. I can feel the cool sticky substance soak through on my shirt. I ignore the sensation, keeping my lips firmly on his. I press my lips a little bit harder onto his, deepening the kiss.

I feel the muscles in his arms loosen as his fingers let go of the grasp they had. I let my hands go of his fists now that I can feel him letting up. His hands move to my back, slightly going under the hem of my shirt. The sticky blood getting on my lower back. I arch into him from the cold of the blood causing my body to press hard against his. I wrap my hands up into his hair, letting my fingers get caught in his dark locks. Damon kisses me back with the bruising pressure that I am used to. His hands pulling me into him tightly.

Damon breaks away, resting his forehead on mine. His blue eyes are looking down into mine. My breathing is a little heavy, my chest moving rapidly against his.

"I love you Elena." His voice is a soft whisper but it sends a shiver down my spine.

"I love you Damon." I whisper back to him. When I think about it, I have loved him for a lot longer than I realized. A part of me regrets all of the times that I could have said it but never did.

"I think that we're going to need some more help besides just Alaric to take down Katherine." His voice is still soft, but louder than a whisper. I nod my head in a yes motion very lightly, biting my bottom lip at the sound of her name. "Let's get you inside." His hand finds mine as the rest of him breaks away from me. I let my fingers twine perfectly with his as he walks us into the boarding house.


	38. Chapter 37

AN: FINALLY. So I'm on my boyfriends computer because mine is sitting next to this one not connected yet because my boyfriend hasn't gotten around to it -.- He's passed out on the bed right now and this is the first chance I have had to write something with the move. That and any time that he is awake that he is not at work he is on this computer playing World of Warcraft. I can't wait till he sees the stuff I write :D Sorry this one is somewhat short but I open tomorrow for work so I have to get ready to go to sleep so I can wake up and sit in traffic in the morning. Yay Virginia/DC trafffic.

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The water from the shower starting running, the high pressured droplets hitting the tiled shower floor in Damon's bathroom. I listen to each drop of water hit the ceramic as Damon adjusts the temperature of the water. I'm sitting on the edge of the counter, my mind a little distant.

I'm trying to keep myself resolved, more for Damon's benefit than my own. I know that if I start to fall apart that he might too. I can't help but letting my mind wander right now though.

I don't know how I am going to tell all of this to Jenna or how she is going to react to this. There is also the fact that Jeremy is now just like I am. I can't imagine how hard this is going to be on her. Then there is this part of me that wants to talk to Bonnie, like the way that it used to be though. I know that it can't happen though but I'm still debating about if I should try despite the fact that she hates vampires. Mostly because of Damon.

I bite my lip at the thought, my eyes glancing over at Damon. The blood on his arms is now dried to a dark red. His back is to me as he is still waiting for the temperature of the water to change.

I hurts me that he did that to himself over the thought of Katherine. More of the thought of Katherine also getting into my dreams. The memory of her is still fresh in my mind sending a chill down my back. I shake my head lightly. Strands of my hair coming undone from behind my ears.

For a moment I have forgotten that Damon can hear what I am thinking. This whole time I have been thinking about Katherine. I look over at him to see that the muscles in his back are tense as his fists once again are starting to ball up.

I jump off of the counter making my way over to him. I wrap my arms around him from behind so they are stretching across the front of his chest. I bury my face into his back breathing in his scent of amber mixed with the dry blood that is stuck to his porcelain skin. The combination is unique but I don't seem to be bothered by it.

I lightly run my lips across his back trailing small kisses across his shoulder blades. I feel his body relax as his hands drop to his sides. Damon turns around in my arms, his eyes immediately lock with mine. I run my hands lightly down the contours of his back, feeling his muscles move underneath my touch. Damon leans down, his lips hovering above mine. I close my eyes, letting myself get lost in the feel of his so close to me.

His lips touch mine, like soft petals gracing my own. I press my body up against his while pulling him in tighter to me. I want nothing more than to feel every part of him on me. The hunger is starting to rise in me, a small moan is muffled by his mouth on mine.

I can feel the need in him. I can tell that he needs me just as much as I need him. It is the reassurance that I have wanted. Not just his words but to actually be able to feel it. His hands grab my hips with force, smashing my body even closer to his. I can feel the bruising pressure behind it but I welcome it.

As his lips continue to move with mine I can hear the thoughts that he is having. All of the moving fast, jumbling most of them together. He is too occupied with me at the moment to try to put in the concentration to block me from him. I can sense his hatred for Katherine but more than anything I can feel his love for me. Something that I know he was never open about, something that I am not too sure that he will ever be open about. This connection though was something that I needed, its easier to be able to have things this way.

His thoughts change as he can sense the relief that I am having by being able to read his thoughts. This time he completely pushes all thoughts aside that aren't consumed with me. I smile into his kiss as his tongue runs across my bottom lip for access. I open my mouth slightly letting him in. His hands run up my shirt, sliding it off of my body with ease. My finger tips find the cool metal button of his black jeans, quickly undoing them.

As soon as his pants his the ground I can feel his hardness through the thin cloth of the boxers that he is wearing. I let my hands wander down to the waistband. I move my fingertips across the top of the fabric, letting them play there for a moment. Our kiss hasn't broken as his hands are roaming my body. My fingers slide underneath the elastic of the waistband making a small snapping noise against my skin. I wrap my fingers around his hardness as I slowly move my hand up and down his length. Damon breaks our kiss to let out a small moan. "Elena…" I can't help but let myself grin.

There is an audible growl from Damon. Within a flash the rest of my clothing is off, for a second I stand there shocked but by this time Damon already as my legs wrapped around his waist. Damon takes his one free hand to open up the glass door to the shower. As soon as the door opens I can feel the steam from the hot water rolling over my body.

The door closes behind us as Damon pushes my back against the tile of the shower wall. My back touches the cooler tile of this area, my body arching in response to the temperature difference. The hot water is hitting my thighs that are wrapped tightly around him. Damon face is buried in my neck as his lips continue to kiss me at the nape. My whole body is quivering to his touch.

I feel him slide himself into me, my eyes widen momentarily with my body adjusting to his size. My back once again arches as I feel himself penetrate deeper inside of me. His thrusts are quick and harder than usual. I bite my bottom lip at the roughness of it. I can hear his fangs extend and I can't seem to prepare myself for his next move.

His cold teeth break the skin on my neck letting the blood flow out, I can feel some of it run down my neck as it gets mixed in with the water. I dig my nails into his back as I cry out in pleasure. The advantage of this new life is that I can have Damon do things like this without severely weakening me afterwards. I arch myself and open my legs the tiniest bit more to allow him to go deeper inside of me. My moans become louder as his pace quickens.

I feel his warmth spill inside of me as my screams finally subside. I rest my head on his shoulder as his face is still buried in my neck, my wet hair covering any visible parts of his face. We stay like that for a moment letting the water hit us with him still inside of me. We don't have to say anything but I let the thought run across my mind that I love him, even though I said it earlier I just want him to still be aware of it.

Damon finally goes to set me down, I unwrap my legs from around him. We both continue on with out shower, not saying anything to one another. The silence is welcoming though, because I know the thoughts behind it.


	39. Chapter 38

I spent the rest of the day sleeping, for some reason my body seemed exhausted after our escaped in the shower. I was standing at the window watching the sun set behind the trees. I could hear Damon talking with Anna and Jeremy in the other room.

"This is Katherine that we're talking about Damon, even with you and me I don't think that we'll be enough to take her down. We both know how she is and we both know that she is a lot stronger than us. You'll get all of us killed if you do this recklessly." I can hear the strain in Anna's voice.

"I'm thinking about going to the council, I'm sure John will run to them anyways if he hasn't already. At least having them protect their families will give us a better chance. I'll still have quite a bit of vervain left. Katherine wont be able to feed here or at least making it difficult for her. I want to keep Elena and Jeremy out of this as much as possible."

"Hey I'm right here and I want to help." Jeremy sounded offended but I know Damon's intentions behind it.

"I appreciate the enthusiasm kid but I'm not going to throw either of you directly in her path, besides what would Anna do if something happened to you?" Damon's question gets Jeremy to keep quiet, I hear the silence fall between all of them.

The sun is already behind the trees, a small light of orange and pink still trying to break through the sky. I close the curtain leaving it behind me as I go to join their conversation. "And what would we do if something happened to either of you?" I say as I stand next to Damon who is across from Jeremy and Anna who are sitting on the couch. On the table between us I see Damon's scotch glass, a few traces of the amber liquid sitting at the bottom of the glass. I try to not let it get to me but its hard knowing that he has to try to drown everything out still.

"Nothing will happen to us." His voice is even, I can't detect any lies behind his words.

"You're confident, maybe a little too confident." I'm beyond worried but I'm trying not to show it as much. I don't want Damon to have to worry about anything else.

"I need to be. You can't show her any fear, she'll thrive off of that." I don't want to admit it but he is right. I just can't keep myself from being worried about it. Every move that Katherine makes is a catalyst. "I'll need the teachers help, I'm thinking that I will also need the witch's. I know you can get her to help us Elena. Besides with the way she has been so self righteous lately I'm sure she would love to protect the citizens of Mystic Fall's."

"I can talk to her but I can't promise that she will want to be on our team."

"Of course she will be, the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Damon flashes a grin at me, I try hard to hold a smile back. The way that he carries himself along with his confidence I realize is a big turn on for me. The mixture between him and my hunger starts swimming around in me. I can still taste him on my tongue. A sweet taste of him. I can feel a growl wanting to escape me but I try hard to bring myself back to reality.

_Why don't we go outside?_

"What?" I answer the question out loud completely bringing me back to reality. I bite my bottom lip as I look down towards the ground in embarrassment. I seem to keep forgetting that we can hear each other.

"Why don't we go outside, just the perimeter of the house. I wont take you that far." I nod my head in agreement as I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear.

_It will be a good distraction for the moment. _

I'm getting a little frustrated. In the moment that it comes, the want and the need for him, I can just relish in the feeling. Its moments like this afterwards though that I feel out of control and ashamed. I want to be able to keep myself in control, I know that it takes a long time but I'm not too sure how much patience I have.

_It proves how human you still are, that's why I know I can trust you to come outside with me right now. I think that if it comes down to it you wont slip up. _The sound of his voice ringing through my head is welcoming, bringing a small smile to my face.

_You seem to be confident about a lot of things these days. _I say back to him, my eyes glancing toward him as we head toward the back door that is in the kitchen.

_I have a reason to be. _Damon keeps his eyes ahead of him as he opens the kitchen door, the curtains over the glass shake lightly with the movement.

_What would that be?_

_I have you. _His eyes lock with mine and I let out a small laugh.

"You're too charming sometimes. Its good to see that you have faith in us though." We both fall silent after my words. I can feel the cool night air run across my bare arms with the door still wide open welcoming us to come outside. I break my eyes away from him, making my way out into the night. The full effect of the air is calming. Something that I would have shivered at before is now something that I can embrace. I close my eyes letting the air roll over my skin.

"The night is made for us, it calls to us, that's why you'll feel the sense of comfort out here." Damon is standing right behind me, I can feel him not too far from me. "The forest starts right over there, lets go." I hear his footsteps lightly touching the pavement. I snap my eyes open, following his figure. Its easy to see him in the darkness, another attribute of being a vampire. The word still makes me falter. I can't seem to get used to it, that this is what I am now.

I can hear my shoes softly hit the earth, the sign that the pavement is far behind us. I quickly take my shoes off letting my bare skin touch the ground. I can feel the wet earth in between my toes, the softness of the dirt pressing against the soles of my feet. I keep walking, following Damon's every movement in this night. The darkness that should envelope me doesn't. Instead I can see everything almost as if there are lights every where. I look up through the barren trees to see the moon breaking the night. It is the light that seems so bright to me.

Damon stops ahead of me and I stop not that far behind him. My feet crunching against a dead leaf that was in my path. The sound of it breaking away into little pieces under my touch. "Are you ready to run?" Before I can even respond Damon is running ahead of me. I see him blur, just a flash of dark colors in front of my eyes. I grin as a I sprint after him.

His movement seems to slow down, I can feel myself catching up to him. I can't tell how fast I am going, it seems as if both of us have fallen into a normal run. I can hear movement in the trees next to us. I look over to see a bird flying, very slowly, its dark wings flapping in movement that is just like when a film goes into slow motion. I realize now that I am moving just like the blur that I saw Damon run as, but now that I am actually running it doesn't seem that way. I run past the bird, still flying slowly behind us as it fades into the darkness of the forest. A smile breaks on my face as the exhilaration of the air pushes against my skin.

There is something that is in the forest that makes me stop. I notice now that Damon is right next to me, his body in a stance making to attack. There is something here that is causing the monster in me howling in my veins. I pull my lips back, I can feel my face changing. My eyes turning dark as my fangs extend, feeling the cold of them touch my lips. A growl escapes me as my fingers clench at my sides.

I can hear it in the forest, my ears were listening for it. The very light footsteps of an animal pressing against the soft earth. The smell is strong, nothing that I have ever smelled before, but the smell burns my nose as it feels like an acidic taste is in my mouth. Its rising an anger in me that I have never felt before. I hear it let out a deep breath, I can see the warmth of its breath break in a small white cloud in the night just a few small feet ahead of us. I keep the stance, my back arching with my knuckles turning white.

I look over at Damon to see that he hasn't changed like I have but that his body is in the same position. Beyond the few broken branches on the ground I can see its yellowish almost orange eyes looking at us. An extreme contrast in this setting, I've never seen a creature with such eyes. A few steps forward and I can see the dark grey fur that belongs to the beast in front of us. Its bigger than anything I have even seen a picture of. It looks just like a wolf but a lot larger in stature. I see its dark grey hair standing up straight on its spine, his teeth showing just as mine are. I can hear the low growl in the beasts throat, I can tell that it is ready to attack.

_Werewolf_. Is the only thing that I hear come from Damon as the wolf lunges for him.


	40. Chapter 39

AN: Thank god for window's recovery. I might have by accident shut down the computer in the middle of this chapter with my foot. So did anyone else go to the midnight premier of Eclipse? I would like to say as a fan of the series for five years now that I felt like, I don't know how to put it exactly but something was wrong with it. I liked some parts but I didn't like others. Small disappointment honestly. The Jacob Bella kiss was hot though but then again so was the one where Bella and Edward were rolling around in the bed. Oh and I don't like the actress that replaced Rachelle for Victoria, failure. Her voice was too sweet, she didn't have like that edge. Plus I was expecting a bigger fight scene at the end. Oh and the whole time that I was sitting there, there was this girl on the other side of my boyfriend and she kept touching him and talking to him. Then she stood up and told my boyfriend "Come on, stand up." And she fucking held out her hands towards him and I put my arm across him and looked up at her and said "No, he's sitting down." Then after that she kept touching him and I was piiiiiiissed. Through the whole movie she was the loudest person laughing then she would clap really excitedly at random parts then start bouncing in her chair and I was like, fuck I'm excited too but stfu. Then after the movie the people that were on the side sitting next to me were like "OMG that bitch was crazy!" and I was like "Iknowright?" That was all before the movie started because I got there at 8:30. So far I have like New Moon the best. Anyways so if you guys saw the movie tell me what you think about it in a review because I'm curious if I'm the only one that was disappointed with parts of it.** OH SEASON TWO STARTS SEPTEMBER 9TH**!(YAY!)

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Time seems to slow down as my eyes adjust to the movements. The dark grey hair of the wolf is pushing back against the wind, I watch him as his mouth opens wide enough for all of his teeth to show. I can hear the growl ripping through his chest. His large paws are extended out in front of him, ready to land. His body is graceful, quick, just like my own.

The wolf is quick but I notice that Damon is faster. His body slides easily underneath the wolf who is still lunging through the air. I hear the soft impact of its paws against the ground. Damon is already in another stance as the wolf is quickly repositioning himself for another attack. His face is stern, his eyes are still the same ice blue still unaffected by change. This time the wolf runs against the ground, picking up pace with each step. Damon stands still, waiting for the wolf to get closer. With each step I grow a little more worried, worried that this creature might actually hurt him. The leaves on the ground are moving furiously as they are being blown by the air being created by their bodies moving so quickly. I can hear other movements among the trees, easily enough for me to tell that its small animals startled by the noise.

The wolf goes for a small lunge this time, I take in a sharp unneeded breath waiting in anticipation for the scream as the wolf goes to sink his teeth into Damon's cold flesh. The scream doesn't come though. Just as the wolf's teeth are about to rip into Damon's abdomen I see him jump over the wolf, quickly doing a flip and landing behind him.

I look over at Damon to see that his left arm is in front of his body in a protective way with his knuckles clenched into a fist. This time his eyes are dark, filled with a burning animosity. His pale features under his eyes are now red. The veins there are protruding, flowing with blood. I can still feel my own mouth pulled back as I am watching this wolf. The blood that is flowing through my body is getting warmer, heating up with the anger that is building inside of me. I can feel the anger rising up in Damon from our connection, just fueling mine even more.

The wolf connects with Damon, his body pushing into his arm. Damon's shoes dig into the soft earth pushing back against it. Their bodies connecting make a noise like cement cracking. Loud and rough. With all of his force I see his arm that was out in front of him push against the wolf sending it flying backwards. The back of the wolf hits hard against one of the trees, causing the tree to splinter in half. The noise of the crack is loud to my ears causing me to wince in pain for a moment.

His body is limp falls against the ground causing loose soil to fly up in the air around him, dead leaves now caught in his fur. Damon and I both stand there for a moment waiting for the wolf to jump back up. Nothing happens. I move a little bit closer. Time seems to speed up all of a sudden. I can hear a change happening in the wolf as all of his fur disappears. The once large body of the wolf is changing into that of a human, becoming significantly smaller. The body is still muscular but no where near the size it just was. I can tell that whoever it belongs to must still be young, more around my own age.

Damon is right next to me as we both continue to move closer to the body on the ground. I know that he isn't dead, I can see his chest rising rapidly and hear his heart beat match the movements. His face is turned away from us, just his jet black hair is all that I can see. Damon leans down next to the body, turning the head.

I'm stunned for a moment by the features that I know so well from a face that I have seen many times. His face is still chiseled, his bone structure as one of his better qualities.

"Isn't this the mayor's kid?"

"Tyler." My voice is nothing but a whisper but I know that Damon can hear it as loud as if I were normally talking.

"Well that explains why Lockwood was down in the basement during the Founder's Day celebration." Damon's hand lets go of Tyler's face, his head rolling back in the position that it was in.

"I forgot that Tyler's dad was down there. I haven't really been paying attention to anything that has been going on in Mystic Falls." I feel a little bit guilty. I've been focusing all of my attention on Damon and every once and a while letting it slip towards the rest of the world.

"It wasn't something that you needed to be worrying about, you've been going through a lot lately." His voice is reassuring but I know that I can't live in my own world forever.

"I know but now there are really a lot of other pressing issues at hand and I have just been letting you take care of them by yourself." I feel my face change back, where Damon's already had a few moments ago. I feel the threat from Tyler completely gone now that he is changed back into his human form.

"I know. Mrs. Lockwood has stepped in as an interim Mayor. I plan on rejoining the council to see what we can solve and also to see how I can use them to my advantage against you-know-who." I find it a little silly how Damon just referred to Katherine but smile at him non the less.

"You know if she was lurking around I'm pretty sure she could piece together what that meant."

"I know but they do it in Harry Potter all the time and I wanted to try it out. Not as cool as it sounds." Damon stands up from inspecting Tyler's body but I can't help laughing. He has the oddest pop culture references sometimes. "Come on lets get back to the boarding house. You've had too much excitement for the night."

"We're just going to leave him here?" I ask motioning towards Tyler's body feeling sympathetic even after the attack.

"He's fine, he'll heal fast. I'm not letting a newly changed werewolf any closer to the house let alone inside." I understand Damon's reasoning behind it but I still feel bad for leaving him out here. "Run as fast as you can back to the house, I'll be with you."

I don't respond to his words. Instead I run against the earth, the dirt soft against my bare feet. The rest of the world slowing down as I keep running. I leap gracefully over a branch on the ground, making it unbelievably easy to not trip now. The dirt goes in between my toes as it touches the ground again. Before I know it I can feel the moist grass from the front lawn of the house. I grab my shoes quickly then rush into the kitchen door, Damon shutting it behind us.

I lean against the cold of the white kitchen wall, sighing for a moment as I run my hand through my wind blown long hair. "Is it possible that everything that I have ever thought was just a scary dream or a story is actually true?" I ask looking up at Damon who is heading towards the fridge.

"That depends on how far out there you are planning on thinking." Damon reaches into the fridge grabbing a bag of blood then ripping open the top with his fingers. I can feel that his body is weak after the fight, letting out so much exertion and strength. "I mean if you're thinking like big foot or aliens then no, those things aren't real."

"I mean like what else is there, I didn't realize how much of a different world this is. I mean there's us, and werewolves plus witches are real. I just want to know what I should be prepared for."

"I don't think that anyone can ever be fully prepared Elena."

"You fought off that wolf easily enough." Damon pauses, his back toward me as he is heating up a mug of blood. I can hear his thoughts flashing fast through his mind, too fast for me to pick through. I scrunch up my brows in frustration.

"It is the second time that I have encountered one." His voice is low. The images from that night go blurring through his mind. Damon strolling in a dimly light park with a pretty blonde haired girl, using his natural charms on her. The wolf jumping quickly from behind the large bushes that lined the sidewalk as the girl ran out of the park back towards the main streets. The images start to blur by even faster as the wolf starts attacking Damon, its teeth sinking into his flesh tearing him apart with his blood spilling on the newly paved white sidewalk. I wince as I try not to see anymore of it.

"It was in Paris in the 1940s. I was out doing what I normally do, causing turmoil, destruction and anguish upon lives and mostly Stefan's. I was out in a park one night with a girl that I had just picked up from a wine bar. The wolf could smell me of course, this one was more experienced and older than Tyler is now, he knew how to fight. I didn't even know of their existence until then. I couldn't fight back, I had no chance of winning, the wolf that night was a lot stronger than me."

"What happened?" I ask as Damon turns around to face me, the warm blood wafting through the air.

"Another vampire showed up, one a lot older than anyone I have ever met. She was stronger than anyone I had ever seen either. She could smell the wolf when she was crossing paths by the park. She was able to take care of the wolf with ease. By that point though I was already badly injured."

"What was her name?" I don't know why out of everything that Damon just told me that I am the most interested in her name. I guess in some way it is a part of jealousy of the fact that Damon has always been with other women. I try to close off my mind to that aspect though, not wanting Damon to hear it.

"Her name was Lilith." The voice does not come from Damon who is standing across from me with his mouth open as he was ready to speak.

The voice is one I know though. The voice is one that I would be able to pick out in a crowd of people. The voice is one that used to say the words 'I love you' to me.

"Stefan."


	41. Chapter 40

AN: Thank you for your continuing support and wonderful words. I appreciate all of my reviews. I'm excited where this story is going. Omg I can't wait to get it all out. Its going to be fucking epic. I only brought Stefan back because it was absolutely necessary. And NO Elena is not going to get back with him. EWWWW. I can't even write that, makes my stomach turn.

* * *

Confusion runs through me along with a raw instinct to back away from Stefan. I haven't been expecting to see Stefan. I haven't wanted to see him at all. I haven't even realized until now that everything actually felt really normal without him around. I feel myself moving closer to Damon slowly, my back to him. I can feel myself just seconds away from hitting his chest.

"She was…" Stefan is starting to say but I cut him off.

"I really don't think that something that happened over fifty years ago is a main priority to discuss right now." There is a venom to my voice, it startles me for a moment but I don't regret how it came out. "What are you doing here Stefan?"

There is silence all around his. I can hear the whispers of Anna and Jeremy upstairs, both in their own world far away from this one.

"I felt like something was missing, an emptiness, I thought that coming back to Mystic Falls might help. Its like I have been drawn to this place. " In a way I can understand what he is trying to say but mostly I more concerned that he might try something.

I can feel my whole body becoming alert, all of my senses kicking in. I'm just a few inches away from Damon, enough for me to feel his presence at full force. Stefan's eyes are watching me as I position myself by Damon's side, my eyes scanning over Stefan for any sign that he is ready to move.

"You changed her." There is a broken tone to his voice, sadness fills the cracks of it.

"Partly, Katherine did the rest." I can hear the anger in Damon's voice, something that is becoming harder for him to hold back. I try to focus on his voice as a few flashes of Katherine from that night going through my mind. Just how beautifully tortured she looked, how it makes her truly frightening. The part that makes it the most horrifying is how I'm scared that one day the monster inside of me will break loose of these chains that I have held down and turn out just like her. Where my body is brutally pressed against the confines of my tense flesh as I am trying hard not to be what she is. I'm afraid that if I fight if hard enough that I will never win, that it will end up happening anyways.

I feel Damon's hand rest in the small of my back, a comforting gesture as he sees through me how Katherine looked that night. I push the images aside, my concern for Damon rising in me more than anything at the moment. I don't want him to hurt himself again.

"Katherine is here?" His voice is almost even, the shock that should have been there is completely gone. Damon doesn't seem to think anything of it, I steal a glance at him to read his face, nothing. I seem to be the only one with a small rising suspicion about his reaction to Katherine's return.

"Obviously." There is a vehement tone to Damon's voice.

Stefan looks over at me, his eyes scanning me up and down. His hand reaches out towards me, "How are you doing?" just before his hand can reach me I move just the slightest. That's all it takes for him to realize that I don't want his hands near me.

"I'm doing fine." My eyes are still on him, watching his movements. Both of his hands are not at his sides, safely away from me. An act that I would have welcomed in my old life is now something that is hard for me to even tolerate thinking about. I don't know what it is that is making me not want Stefan anywhere near me. Maybe it is because I remember all of the lies and the false hopes from when I was a human. The easy way that he was able to sway my mind. I don't ever want that happening again.

"She's just like the human Elena, all of her human emotions are still there, just mixed with new ones. There isn't any confusion with her though." Damon is talking about me almost as if I am not standing right next to him. I don't mind though, it just means the less that I have to say to Stefan. I can feel a small amusement rise up in Damon.

_What's so funny?_ I ask him, grateful that this works between just me and him. I can see that Damon is now trying to hold back a smirk.

_I've been listening to you this whole time, you're absolutely repulsed by the thought of him even being in this kitchen with you. I never thought that I would see the day. _The happiness in his voice is evident. I want to glare up at him but I don't want to give anything away.

"You're feeding her human blood?" Stefan asks as he is looking at the mug of cooling blood that is still resting in Damon's hand.

_Oh god, this still isn't some brother rivalry thing still? _There is a small irritation to my voice. Damon knows that I am not Katherine and I am not a substitute to make him feel better just to hurt Stefan.

_You're not and you know better than that. You shouldn't even be thinking it. I just can't help but to find it funny. _Damon is know wearing his crooked smile, something that he was trying to hold back.

"She's a newborn vampire, I can't just give her animal blood. Do you realize how stupid that would be? She would be beyond weak. If I ever let her outside the smell of humans walking around would drive her into a frenzy. She's not killing anyone, most importantly I would never let her fall to that. Even if there was the small chance that Elena slipped she would never forgive herself for hurting someone." I look up at Damon with a small amazement in my eyes. He knows me a lot better than I thought he did, I guess it shouldn't surprise me though.

One of the many reasons why I had never asked Stefan to turn me was because I was terrified of completely losing who I am. When it came down to it I knew that Stefan wouldn't be able to handle me if I turned into some ravenous beast.

With Damon though everything seems a lot easier. The hunger is still there, so is the undying lust I have for him. Besides those two things though I'm still me and its because I have him by my side. I know that if I ever fall, if there is even a small chance I would turn into that monster that craves nothing more than fresh human blood that Damon will help me.

_You're not Katherine and this is not a dark twisted romance straight from hell. I am not going to let you become anything like her or become what I once was. I'm not going to be out there reeking havoc or killing because that's not what I want you to be. _Damon had heard my thoughts which I don't mind. His own response was a reassurance that I wasn't looking for but is nice enough to hear.

"I guess you're right." Stefan's voice has wavered. Its easy to hear the pain behind every syllable of his words.

"If your plan was to rush back here to check on Elena and try to win her back then you can just forget about it because I **know** that she is not going anywhere. Now unless you want to leave town again you can stay and help us with Katherine." Damon is still harsh to Stefan. I don't blame him though. Almost a year ago I would have been upset by his demeanor but how can I now after I know everything that he has been through.

In the truth of everything I am happy that I am with Damon. I'm happy that in this life after he was betrayed by his brother for Katherine and then betrayed by Katherine for over a hundred years that I can bring him a form of happiness. Damon never deserved any of that. I'm not condoning that lives that he took, I'm not saying that it was justified. In a way though, if those things had never happened Damon wouldn't have turned out the way that he did. The good thing that has come out of all of that though is that I believe it has made him in a way a better person. I think that it was all just a shaping of who he should be for all these years and now he can finally be a better person.

_You think of me almost as if I am not a vampire. _Damon's words interrupt my thoughts snapping me out of the trance I was in.

_Its obvious that you have a soul. The fact that you were a vampire had nothing to do with why I didn't like you in the beginning. It was just the things you did. Being a vampire has nothing to do with it. Except for when you would go on murderous rampages…_I trail off remembering those days that weren't that long ago.

_Yes but those days are behind me. _

I don't say anything but instead smile up at him. I seem to keep forgetting that Stefan is in the kitchen with us. I look over at him as his face seems sullen. I let my smile drop not wanting to seem to happy in front of him because honestly I am not happy that he is here at all. Even if he wants to help fight Katherine.

_Is he staying here? _I ask Damon, my eyes still looking at Stefan.

_Yes he is. _

I try not to groan in displeasure but Damon can sense my annoyance. I hear him trying to hold back a small laugh but the grin on his face if evident of it. I glare up at him but it just seems to fuel him even more. I walk out of the kitchen heading up stairs leaving Damon and Stefan to exchange some more brotherly words.

_Its just beyond amusing that you are highly annoyed by his presence now when before you couldn't stand to be away from him. _Damon's thoughts break through once more as I am heading up the stairs.

_Laugh it up Damon because when he does something stupid I'm going to rub it in your face. _I feel childish but honestly I'm trying in a small way not to let out laughter.

_What do you think he is going to do?_ Damon's voice is serious this time, all amusement gone from it.

_I don't know but honestly I don't trust him. _

Something feels different about Stefan. I can't place my finger on it exactly. I'm not too sure what his motives really are but I don't know if they are of the best intentions. He could be back for revenge against Damon but then again I doubt that because he should know that Damon would win. He should know that Damon is a lot stronger than he is. I don't think that Stefan would risk drinking human blood again just to try to kill Damon, I think that he is too self righteous for that.

I keep my own thoughts running, trying to drown out the noise of their voices downstairs. Anything that they are talking about I know that Damon will tell me. I would rather have him tell me than be eavesdropping.

I don't even hear their conversation end or hear Damon coming up the stairs but within a second he is standing in front of me.

"Thinking like a true vampire now?" Damon says to me as I am sitting on the bed, my legs crossed as I stare up into his blue eyes.

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"Assuming the worst in everyone." _Stefan. _Damon thinks after. I keep my eyes locked with his. I know that he was still listening to me the whole time that he was downstairs.

_I just don't trust him. I don't think that you should either. _

_Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I consider Stefan to be an enemy. Were you not taught that in history class from a famous Chinese general names Sun-tzo. Looks like I need to talk to the teacher for a proper history lesson. _Damon leans in close to me, causing my body to fall back onto the bed as he crawls on top of me.

I lift my arm up and smack him lightly. "Do you really think that I remember everything from my history class?"

"Oh that's right, how could you pay attention when you were so plagued with worry over Stefan. Or the days that he was there I'm sure that you were sitting there making starry eyes at him. 'Oh Stefan!'" Damon's voice gets high pitched as he tried to imitate my own. I let out a laugh as I push him off of me. I forgot how playful he can be.

I straddle my legs around Damon so he is pinned perfectly beneath me. "You're right I should run back to him right now!" I make sure that my voice is as over dramatic as I can make it as I pretend to get up.

Damon quickly grabs my wrist though pulling me down close to him. "You're mine." After Damon says the words there is a low growl in his voice. Its not frightening, I find it kind of sexy. I smile down at him as I let my lips connect with his petal smooth ones. The lust that I have been repressing all day comes rushing back to me. I run my hands up his shirt, feeling his smooth skin and the definition of his solid muscles. A low growl escapes my throat. In a sift motion Damon has me lifted up and then tossed underneath him so he is now on top of me. I let the passion consume me as Damon's lips crash onto mine.


	42. Chapter 41

AN: I hate Stefan, he was a total douche bag in the show. It also just showed how much of a hold he had over Elena. She was naive about it, I guess I can forgive her(only if she breaks up with him in season two and ends up with Damon). Abusive relationship in my opinion. Mentally abusive at least. He should get killed off. I'm telepathically trying to send my thoughts to the writers of the CW hoping that they'll at least take some of my ideas(preferably the one where Stefan dies and Damon and Elena live a vampire life together). I just need to express my hatred for him somewhere. Nina said this thing in an interview about how at the end of the day every girl likes a bad boy, referring to Damon. Its like yeah to an extent, of course he has the image but when it comes down to it I think that Stefan was the worse between them. I don't think that Damon would ever actually hurt her because he only did horrible things because of Stefan. He had the ultimate betrayal by his brother.

* * *

I wrapped my legs around Damon as he lifted me up with ease. Damon's moves with our lightning fast speed over to the wall. I feel my back slam against it as the dresser next to me shakes and rattles as a few of the items that were on top fall over. I grin at him finally happy that he is letting my instincts run free after I have been craving him all day.

My breathing becomes more erratic as he enters me. I dig my nails into his back feeling trickles of blood hit my fingertips. I let out a gasp, my breath pushing against my lips as he thrusts with force into me hitting my back hard against the wall. I can feel his warm breath against the nape of my neck. It's the breath that captures me as it travels between our lungs.

I run my hands down Damon's back. The wounds that were there from my nails are already gone, no traces of anything left. Damon moves one of his hands down to my hips, gripping his hand around it tightly as he puts force behind moving my hips fast against him. The action takes me suddenly, I let out a cry of pleasure as his name escapes my parting lips. "Damon! Oh God…" I once more take my nails into his back letting them break his skin.

The second I feel the skin break beneath my pressure I feel Damon's teeth piercing the nape of my neck. I feel my blood flow into his mouth and down the side of my neck. I arch my back and tilt my neck to the side to give him more access. I can smell the sickly sweet aroma of my own blood mixed with his that is still coming from the open wounds in his back as my nails are still dug deep into him.

Damon's speed picks up a little more as he puts more force behind each thrust into me. My back is slamming against the wall so hard that the dresser next to us hit's the floor with a loud thud. A small thought runs through my head that maybe we shouldn't be against the wall before we break the plaster on the wall. With that Damon pulls me off of the wall and takes us to the bed. I land on my back with Damon on top of me within a second.

He takes his hands gathering mine in his then moving them above my head. He lets one of his hands clasp down around my wrists, squeezing them tightly so I can't move them. I look up at him to see a grin on his face. He knows that even if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to break free because he is still a lot stronger than me, he always will be because of his age.

His hand keeps my wrists pinned down above my head as his other hand is free to roam my body. I arch myself into him as I move my hips against his. I can feel myself filling with ecstasy and I can tell by how fast that Damon is going that he is ready to meet my own. I keep pushing myself against him as I cry out his name one last time. A growl rips through the air as I feel Damon start to slow down. Our breathing is heavy but in sync with one another's. Damon collapses down on the bed next to me.

"I'm going to go take a shower." I nod my head at Damon still trying to catch my breath. I know that there is dried blood all down his back just as there is the same sticking to my neck. "You should probably take one too."

"I'll wait until your done." I say to him, my words uneven, still not able to breath properly.

"I promise I wont try anything in there." I can hear the playfulness to his voice.

"I don't believe you, now go." I try not to laugh as he walks off to the bathroom pretending to be sullen.

I hear the water for the shower start. I shake my head in disbelief. I never new that Damon had this side to him all this time. I smile at the thought of him.

I looked down at the discoloration of my skin. The dark purple bruises are already healing rapidly. I keep my eyes on the ones on my wrists watching the circles disappear within a few seconds making my skin look the way it did. The aches that I had in my body a moment ago are already gone. I smile remembering what just happened.

"I'm surprised honestly. I would have thought you wouldn't have even let me touch you with Stefan in the house." There is a tone of amusement in Damon's voice. I look over at him to see him laying next to me with one arm propping himself up on the bed. My eyes scan over him taking all of him in. He has already put on a pair of dark colored jeans but still hasn't put on a shirt. I keep my eyes on his defined chest for a moment before moving my eyes back up to his.

"If he doesn't like it then he can leave, he shouldn't have come here to begin with." The acid seeps through every note in my voice. I can feel the anger burning at me through leaving the acidic taste in my mouth.

I get out of the bed heading towards the bathroom to get myself cleaned up. I have to admit that I don't sound like I used to. For the most part I have felt exactly the same after being changed. Except of course for the hunger and the undying need to be touched by Damon. Now that Stefan is around I feel an anger inside of me that I never had before. I remember something that Damon once told me.

"_All of your human emotions carry over into this life. The only thing is they're amplified a hundred times over. If you're mad about something then it will feel like a searing hate. Another example is the way you feel towards me, if you get changed its going to be a lot more intense." _

I don't know why I didn't remember it until now. If I could blush my cheeks would be bright red right now. I turn on the shower water as I continue to think about it. Of course I found Damon attractive before but this has turned into an animalistic need for him. I bite my bottom lip quickly in a small embarrassment from how demure I used to be towards him.

I get into the shower letting the hot water hit my skin, washing away the dried cracking blood that is stuck to my skin. Of course I was mad at Stefan before I was turned. Stefan lied to be about so much that I turned a blind eye too. He hid Katherine from me just like he hid his hunger for human blood to me. How am I suppose to trust someone who always lies to the person that they claim they love? Not just that but I feel like right now he has an ulterior motive. I move my thoughts away from Stefan, not wanting to end up breaking the ceramic tile of the shower wall out of anger.

Damon would never lie to me. The one thing that I can really appreciate about his nature is that I know that he will tell me how something is, the truth no matter how much of the impact. I begin to remember a time when I went to Damon asking him about Atlanta, but much more trying to get him to trust me.

"_Okay when we were in Atlanta, why didn't you use your compulsion on me?" _I remember standing there, my body trying not to give away the small fear the was rising inside of me.

"_Who says that I didn't?" _Damon responded with a small anger to his tone_. _

"_You didn't, I know you didn't. But you could have. You and I, we have something. An understanding. I know that my betrayal hurt you, different from how it is with you and Stefan but I am promising you this now, I will help you get Katherine back." _I remember myself believing the words as they came out, knowing that even then I had a connection with Damon.

"_Oh, I wish I could believe you." _It hurt then that he didn't but I gave him even reason not to.

"_Ask me if I'm lying now?" _I had taken off Stefan's necklace, leaving me venerable to Damon's compulsion.

"_You know Anna wont stop by the way, no matter what I do." _

"_Then we'll deal with it." _At this point I wanted him to believe me, not to help Stefan deceive him but because I actually wanted him to trust me.

"_I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having fun and I wanted it to be real." _

I can feel a rush in my chest, my heart wanting to beat erratically but it can't. Even now he still makes me nervous in a good way. I was always able to trust him, I just couldn't see it for a long time. '_I wanted it to be real.' _The words echo in my head as I get out of the shower. I wish I would have seen it before, how much he cared about me. How much better of a choice he was for me than Stefan. I push those thoughts aside knowing that they wont help anything right now. I go back into the bedroom trying not to let my mind wander.

"Reminiscing in the shower?" Damon is fully dressed now, wearing a dark grey button down shirt with his dark colored jeans. I look around the room quickly to see that he picked up the dresser along with the things that had fallen onto the floor.

"Are you always in my head?" I ask him pretending to be irritated as I open up a dresser drawer grabbing some clothes out of it.

"Not always, I just seem to hear you when you think about the really important stuff like how I was the better choice." I quickly throw a shirt at Damon hitting him full force in the face with it.

"Stop being so cocky."

"Ruin my fun. Anyways after you get dressed we have a meeting with the Founder's Council."

"We?" I ask him making sure that I heard him right.

"Yes we. I already talked to Sheriff Forbes and told her that you are coming to the meeting today. They haven't had one since the before the night of the Founder's Day celebration since Caroline has been at home recovering." I had forgotten all about Caroline, along with the rest of the world. "Don't feel bad, you've been going through a lot too." I can hear the sincerity in his voice as he was able to feel my guilt over forgetting all of my friends. "I'll meet you downstairs." I nod my head at him as I continue getting dressed.

A moment later I am down the stairs and by the front door where Damon is waiting for me. I see the look on Damon's face change as it becomes really stern. I look behind me to see what he is looking at only to see Stefan. I try not to roll my eyes in dislike as I pick up my movement to get to Damon faster.

"I think that I should go to the meeting too. I heard you in the phone this morning and I think that it will help if I go to be able to hear all of the plans that they have." Stefan says as he is coming down the hallway from the parlor.

"No. You're still just a kid to them besides if there is anything that is really important I will make sure to tell you about it."

"Elena is still just a kid to them too then, why is she going?"

"I really don't think that is any of your business. Like I said if there is anything important I will make sure to tell you about it. Besides I'm not risking you messing up any of my plans or giving anything away." Damon says to Stefan, fitting the big brother role perfectly. Stefan doesn't say anything back but instead lets Damon open up the front door. I walk out ahead of him, letting the morning rays of sun hit my skin. The door shuts behind us leaving Stefan inside.

_We'll talk in the car. _Damon's voice breaks through my thoughts and I just nod my head in understanding.


	43. Chapter 42

AN: I was watching Eclipse why I was typing this. It seems a lot better the second time. I still don't like how they changed the graphics of the vampires running though. I was also contemplating doing a Twilight fanfic. Just thoughts, if I find the time. Work and sleep take up too much. I used to work at night but since I moved(literally moved too far away from my old work) I had to transfer stores and now I work during the day which is new to me but at the same time is fucking time consuming. When I used to work at night I would come home every morning and update. Now the mornings that I work when I come home in the afternoon my boyfriend is on the computer playing world of warcraft. I really need to set my computer up lol. Thank you for your continuing support!

* * *

The tires crunch against the gravel driveway then quickly hit the smooth pavement of the road. I sit here in silence waiting for Damon to speak, not knowing the exact range of hearing that vampires may have.

_I'm making sure that he isn't following us._ Damon's eyes are moving rapidly between the road and the forest next to us.

_Do you really think that he would?_ I ask him as I look at his face which looks as if its set in stone. I can tell that his jaw is tight but he is trying not to let his anger get to him.

_Don't you?_

_Yes_. I reply to him as I look in the trees that line the road. My eyes only catch a few small animals moving about. Most of the leaves have fallen off of the trees making it easy to see through the clearings. _Maybe he isn't that stupid, maybe he'll stay at the boarding house._

_No he really is that stupid, it never ceases to amaze me how much he think he can get by me. Damon is tightening his grip around the steering wheel of his old muscle car. I don't know what he's up to but typical Stefan I know that he's plotting something. He is acting way too friendly. Its safe to talk._

"Its like when Stefan was trying to 'help' you get the tomb open, its like he is acting the same way. Overly friendly." I say to him thinking back to how Stefan had asked me to help trick Damon. I feel bad for it, I feel bad for how blinded I was. The guilt at times feels over whelming.

"Do you know what the really fucked up part of that was? I was actually starting to trust him again, actually starting to remember that he's my brother. Of course it always ends in him betraying me, I should have known better, I guess I was too blinded by how you were acting to see what Stefan was doing." Damon slams his foot down on the gas, the engine roars as the car speeds down the empty road towards the main part of the town.

The sharp cutting edge to his words don't help the guilt that I still feel over what I did. After that night I felt for him, not in a way that I felt sorry for him but in a way that I wanted to make him feel better. I really think that was when I started to realize that he was just a person who had their heart ripped out by the woman that he loved and by his own blood.

"You know that I'm sorry about what had happened. You understand though that then I didn't fully realize what Stefan was doing, I also didn't realize the reason why you are the way you are was because of him and Katherine." I feel the ache in my chest, like a pressure weighing down on me with the aching of my own heart. My chest is getting tight and with each unneeded breath I can feel it getting tighter.

Damon lets go of his death grip on the steering wheel along with letting off of the gas with the car falling down to the speed limit. "Its not your fault, I don't blame you for any part that you took in what happened in the past. It did hurt at the time though. After the incident with the tomb I was beyond a mess, I couldn't think properly. There were way too many thoughts that were spinning around in my head, I couldn't pick them out. Everything seemed to blur together. Except for you, you were the one thing that seemed to stand out from all of that. I'm grateful that you were there, that you are who you are Elena. Without you I would have drained this whole town dry with no regrets."

The ache in my chest fades with his words as a small smile plays at my lips. I needed his reassurance. The car pulls up to the Lockwood's house, if the house could even be called that, I guess its more of a mansion. There are a few cars parked in the long curved driveway including the sheriff's cruiser.

"Is it really appropriate to be having the meetings here? I mean since Mayor Lockwood passed?" I ask as I get out of the car looking up at the white walls of the mansion.

"The council insisted to have the meeting here, or at least did. I think that she is trying to keep her husbands cause alive or whatever she wants to call it. " Damon shuts his car door walking over to the side of the car that I am on. We begin to walk up the long stretch up into the house.

I feel Damon's hand slide into my own as his fingers twine with mine. His small action takes me by surprise. I'm still not used to him being this way but at the same time it feels so right. I wrap my fingers tightly around his as we reach the door. The door opens just as Damon is about to knock to see standing there. Her hair is still the same cropped dirty blonde, her make up intact to perfection just like it always was. The only difference is her eyes that are filled with grief. There are dark circles underneath them indicating that she hasn't had any sleep in probably days. Long nights of staying up crying over the loss of her husband.

I know that the loss in her eyes isn't evident to the rest of the world, not as much as it is to me at least. I can sense it too in a small way. How scared she feels over why her husband was taken that night knowing that he wasn't a vampire. I can almost smell the fear. I can hear her heart beating in her chest, the flow of her blood coursing through her veins. The burning in my throat that for the most part is just a small background annoyance to me moves to the front of my thoughts. The burning becoming more evident with each heart beat.

"Elena I didn't know that you were coming to the meeting today." Her voice is trying to sound cheerful, a façade that she is trying to put on for everyone else doesn't slide past me or Damon.

"I talked to Sheriff Forbes, she is aware of Elena attending today, its imperative that she is here today." Damon's free hand clasps over mine that is already twined with his. The smile on his face is beyond charming, the fact that he is a vampire just adds to his already appealing allure.

"Well come on in." She steps aside making room for us to come in. Damon walks in ahead of me, my hand still in his. I pause there for a moment still outside my feet at the edge of the threshold. Damon turns around looking at me an eyebrow raised, waiting for me to come in. I move my foot forward, stepping into the house. I breath a sigh of relief. I was expecting it not to work for some reason. For something to go horribly wrong, not letting me inside the house.

Damon leads us down a long hallway to a parlor at the end of it. There are already all of the founding families gathered there. Including John representing the Gilbert's. His eyes are stone on Damon and I as we enter the room. My eyes run over him to see that his fingers that Katherine had ruthlessly cut off were sewn back on, covered in bandages are they are trying to heal. As I look at his hands I notice that his ring that he was wearing is gone. Good. I think to myself as I take my place next to Damon in the room.

I asked Damon to save him that night in the kitchen when I was dying. I asked him because I didn't want his death on my own conscious. If Katherine decides to come for him again at least I wont have that ring to save him anymore, a thought that in a way makes me feel just a little bit better. He doesn't deserve to live, I just wont kill him myself.

I can pick out each distinct heart beat and which person it belongs to in the room. Their breathing is quiet compared to the noise of their hearts. The burning in my throat turns into an incinerating pain, almost as if the flesh and tissue in my throat is actually burning. I close my eyes for a moment trying to concentrate, trying to keep my features from turning. I begin to imagine all the warm blood flowing through them. Their warm beating hearts, the sweet sick taste of each persons blood as it flows freely from their necks as I sink my teeth into them one by one. I open my eyes to look around the positioning of the room. I would have enough time to kill all of them before they could make it out of the house.

_Concentrate, I know that you are stronger than the thirst._ Damon's thoughts break through my own.

What am I thinking?

I brush the thoughts away, trying my hardest to ignore the sounds of their hearts along with the scent of their flesh. I wont hurt anyone, I refuse to be Katherine. I wont let this control me. I keep concentrating on my hatred for the girl that I look so much alike. My hatred for her is enough for me to dull the thirst. I take all of my full concentration to listen to Sheriff Forbes who is standing at the front of the room.

"I'm glad that everyone was able to make it today. Now that everything has been taken care of it has come to my attention that we needed to have a meeting. The night of the Founder's Day celebration all of the vampire from the tomb were killed. It is unfortunate that night that we lost Mayor Lockwood, something that we are still trying to figure exactly how it happened. Apparently there is a new vampire in town though, something that Damon and John can help enlighten us with." Sheriff Forbes says as she laces her fingers in on the holster of her belt. Every once and a while her head looking down towards the ground.

John moves from the back of the room to the front as Damon's hand finally lets go of my own as he meets John up there. "There is a new threat to the town, one greater than a whole tomb of vampires. I have faced her myself and I am beyond lucky to be alive. Lucky that Damon was there to call someone for me." John says with a smirk as he looks over at Damon. Damon's eyes meet his for a moment but quickly move back to the founding families.

"He's right. She'll destroy this town. Her name is Katherine and she was suppose to be in the tomb with the other vampires. Of course being who she is one of the men who was in charge of putting them in the tomb was smitten with her and let her go. I don't know why she is back, it might have something to do with all of the escaped vampires, she showed up the night of the Founder's Day celebration. We haven't seen her since but that doesn't meant that she isn't here." Damon says as he watches the faces of everyone in the room.

"There is something that makes Katherine more dangerous than all of the vampires that were locked away. Something that makes her more dangerous than most vampires that walk this earth. It isn't just her disregard for humanity." John says cutting into Damon's speech. Damon glares over at him before finally finishing what he was trying to say.

"Katherine looks just like Elena. Not just in the way that they have some similarities, I mean they are identical, you wont really be able to find a difference between the two of them." Damon says as he reads the shocked expressions of everyone in the room.

"How is that even possible? Are they related?" Sheriff Forbes pipes up from where she is standing against one of the dark oak walls of the house.

"That is something that I have yet to find out, something that I wish I knew, trust me. You need to understand how dangerous this makes Katherine though. She will deceive you into thinking that she is Elena, that's how she got John over here." Damon says as he tries to hold back a smirk, taking an enjoyment in what Katherine did to John. John doesn't say anything this time, instead he tries to cover the bandages of his injured fingers with his other hand. "You can not invite her into your home, no matter what. It is important to your own survival that you protect yourselves. I'll be bringing more vervain, you'll be needing it more than ever now. That's why I brought Elena here today, you need to know that this is what you will be fearing now. Katherine will kill every once of us just because she is bored."

"How do you know?" Sheriff Forbes asks Damon a curious look on her face.

"That is just the type of vampire she is. I have read countless entries on her, I spend all of my spare time studying the history of the town." Damon flashes the Sheriff a smile causing her to look down, a rush of blood going to her cheeks. "I'll have the vervain by the end of the week. I suggest putting it in our water supply again. Everyone in the town will be immune to her compulsion, it will give us a small advantage."

"Thank you Damon, this town is very grateful for all of the help that you have been giving us." Sheriff Forbes says as she steps away from her post against the wall. "I will let everyone know when we get the vervain, just remember what you were told here today." It is the dismissal for everyone to leave, something which I am beyond thankful for. Damon immediately walks back over to me, his hand once again finding my own. A comfort that helps remind me why I am not turning into Katherine. Damon guides me out of the house, the sun light hitting my eyes hard for a moment. The adjust me is fast from the dim lighting of the house.

"Come on, lets go 'inform' Stefan." Damon says as he opens up the car door for me.

Just what I need, to go play games with Stefan. I wish he hadn't come back.


	44. Chapter 43

**AN: So I thought about an apology for being super shitty and not writing anything for months. But I can't seem to think of one that will justify not writing. I got busy, work, sleep, boyfriend(who I live with and I spend a lot of time with) stupid MMORPG world of warcraft(hate that game, so addicting) Oh and then there was the summer break for VD and then it came back. Then I was like WTF cause this season just sucks. Every week I end up beyond disappointed with the episode, more so each week then with the last. My boyfriend makes fun of me because he doesn't understand why I watch it if I am always disappointed in it. I told him that I am waiting for Damon and Elena to get together. Which seems to fall further from my grasp each episode. I thought from the previews last week that Stefan was going to cheat on Elena with Katherine and it made me so excited for a whole week just for my hopes and dreams to be crushed by the horrible shitty writers for the show. My boyfriends theory is that they will milk the Damon/Elena thing for as long as they can. OH and the episode ended with her back with Stefan, REALLY? I mean come on. Please just give me a break. On the bright side if forced me out of my "writers block" to write because I need to live out Delena goodness somewhere in my life. **

**Disclamier: I don't own the Vampire Diaries. If I did it would be 100x more awesome than it is now. Most likely with Stefan killed off in episode 1. **

* * *

There was so many things about my new life that I just didn't like. For example it might be the imminent fact that Katherine looms over my thoughts constantly. It might also be the fact that with my doppelganger is my ex-boyfriend. I can't figure out why he is still here. I thought for sure the second that he found out about everything with Damon and I that he would have booked it out of Mystic Falls claiming to never return and living the rest of his existence away as a recluse. A part of me feels horrible for saying, the human part of me that is still left. Its just his personality though. There's a pang in my chest that I have, I think that its because I still want to be friends with him. Then there is this new overwhelming feeling that I have that he just simply annoys me.

I would never tell him that. Every day it's a struggle in my mind if I should just snap and say something to him. Then my other side fights with me to be nice. There isn't a switch at all, there can't be. I can not seem to find it. If I did I would make sure that the thoughts of me practically hating the essence of him would disappear and I would be nothing but nice again. The part that I truly do want to be. Some days its just really hard to control it though.

Its been a month and Katherine has not shown herself. It has been a month of constantly being on edge. I try my hardest when I am around Damon to let the part of me that is still human be around him. Fully and completely. That is the part that he loved, wasn't it? I haven't told him how I feel like the monster that is inside of me tries to break free everyday. How I can feel it crawling through my skin, pushing against me trying to get out.

I wont let it out. I will not be Katherine.

I spend so much time in my head convincing myself that I am not her that I'm afraid it will just slip out and this "switch" that every vampire seems to talk about will finally be shut off. The paranoia of her is an insect crawling through my head working its way through my subconscious thought.

The one thing that I am more afraid of than Katherine herself. The bigger challenge of it, trying to keep Damon out of my head for those thoughts that pass through. I will admit that every once in a while I let out an irritated thought of Stefan, it always seems to bring a smirk to his face. Especially when Stefan is around trying to lecture us on the importance of being prepared to fight Katherine.

I do remember that when Damon had told him about telling the council about Katherine he wasn't very happy about it. Which sparked curiosity in both Damon and I. Stefan later on changed his mind commending Damon for his brilliance but there was an air to it.

"This is what she wants." I say quietly, knowing that Damon will hear me even though he is sitting across the room completely enveloped in a book of werewolf lore.

Damon lifts his head up to look at me, I can feel his eyes on me even though mine are still looking out the window at the overcast sky. "What is?"

"She wants us to be sitting here worried. I don't know why I haven't thought of it before. That's why she hasn't shown herself."

"You can be right. I know that Katherine wouldn't give up on you that easily. I'm surprised she isn't relishing in the fact of what she did." I can hear the pain behind his words. I feel one emotion radiating off of him, almost as if it just travels to me instantly. His hatred for her washed over me from that night when she killed me. A flashback of her face that night comes to me, causing me to jolt for a second. I push the image of her aside quickly, not wanting to alarm Damon. "The unfortunate part with Katherine is that you are always a pawn in her game but only she knows the rules and she can change them at any time." Damon says as he glances back down at the book. I know that he is trying to concentrate on the ancient text on the page but I can still feel the venom for her that he is trying to repress.

"What if you don't want to play the game?" I ask finally breaking my eyes away from the gray sky.

"You're always playing her game." His words cause silence to fall over us again.

"Its true you know." The voice causes both of us to jump up from out spots quickly, facing the direction from where the voice was coming from. I've heard the voice a thousand times over. Each night replaying in my head.

_Do not move._ Damon's voice cuts through quickly.

Katherine stood in front of us. Every aspect of her completely identical to me. The only difference between us was her dark fashion sense and the dark eyeliner she brimmed her eyes with. "Its been really hard for me to find a minute for you two to be alone. I mean with the little vampire girl here, your brother and _your_ brother here." She says motioning to Damon with the last your. "Kind of crowded don't you think?" Katherine says as she makes her way down the three small steps into the parlor.

"I really shouldn't even bother wasting my time asking what you want because I know you're just going to lie about it."

"Is that really what you think of me?" Katherine says as she casually falls over the side of the couch landing on it perfectly, her dark hair falling around her. "I did happen to come here to tell you what I want."

I stand there in silence with Damon, both of us waiting for her response.

"Well since you obviously aren't going to ask, I want you back Damon." The silence remains between all of us, Damon's face set in stone. I can still feel his emotions though. Even at her words his hatred doesn't falter. "Fine you got me, that wasn't the original reason I came to this God awful town but since my own plan fell apart at my own demise I'm settling for this one. You are the one that said I can change the rules at anytime. So new rules. I want you back. I want her out of the picture. She has 1 day to get out of this town before I start killing everyone she loves and cares about. Including her vampire brother. I'm sure you all thought you were going to have a happy vampire family but I will make sure it doesn't happen." With her last words Katherine gets off of the couch, walking out into the foyer swaying her hips on the way out.

The tense muscles in my body loosen as soon as the front door closes. _It will be okay. _I send the message to Damon trying to reassure him even though I am not so sure myself anymore.

"You were right to have all of those thoughts of her." Damon says quietly still looking at the spot where she was standing just a moment ago.

I felt ashamed for a moment, I know that I had been spending most of our time recently quite. Trying my hardest not to be distant when we were alone. "I try my hardest to not let you hear all of my thoughts. Almost as if I don't think it loud enough you wont hear it." My cheeks want to burn red but I know that its impossible. I put my head down to the floor though, not wanting to make eye contact.

He is so quick that I don't hear him move, its his warm hands that I feel on my face that cause me to look up. My eyes are brimming with tears, another thing that I am grateful for. It shows that not all of me is dead inside. "I know that all of this has been really hard for you, I know that this life isn't want you wanted. I want to make this what you want though." His words are so strong and I see the resolve on his face.

"Of course this isn't what I wanted." I say to him the tears still streaming. "The part about Katherine I hate and I feel so guilty about letting her consume me. I can be fine with this life its just…." I trail off trying to bring myself to say the words.

The backs of his fingers gently brush my cheek wiping away the tears, his eyes piercing mine. The clear ocean that I still get lost in. "It kills me that Katherine was the one to do this. I wanted…"I keep fumbling over my words, I guess in a way still trying to come to terms with them. "I wanted you to be the one to actually turn me."

Saying the words finally brings a relief to me. Damon's eyes soften as I feel the tears finally stopping. "Is this why you've been this way for a while now?" He asks his voice quiet. I nod my head lightly.

"At first I didn't realize it but its been a month now and the more I think about it the more that I wished it would have been you. That I wouldn't have cared for you to look for another cure for what was happening to me. There was only one and we both know that. I would have changed for you." I treated the thought of Katherine turning me like a fresh would that I was treating with salt just so it will still feel new.

As soon as the last word comes out I feel Damon's soft lips crash hard onto mine. It takes me just a second to react, meeting his lips with just as much force. A car crash just waiting to happen. I push myself on the tips of my toes to push myself into him more. The kiss reminds me of everything I felt for him when I was still alive, just so much more intense. At the same time I feel guilt wash over me for how I had let Katherine hang above me like the poison she is. I push the thoughts away quickly letting myself get lost in his kiss.


	45. Chapter 44

**AN: Things I hate about this season**

**2. I felt that Katherine got pushed aside quickly, I thought that there would have been cooler shit from her**

**3. Rose, my hatred for her grows with each passing episode. Why does she have to sleep with Damon? I hope she dies. Why do I have to wait til the end of January for another episode? I hate that in the preview she tells Elena "Its ok to love them both." When you know Elena is just going to deny it.  
**

**4. How they destroyed Elena and Damon's friendship all because he had to go and snap Jeremy's neck. He's alive right? K, so forgiven. That is how that should work. It broke my heart that night when he tried to kiss her. **

**5. Who the fuck is Luca? WARLOCK? Really? When he said that I LOL'd.  
**

**Things I do like about this season**

**1. Caroline as a vampire, at first I hated it so much but now I actually like her character in general a lot more**

**/Tyler I think is the cutest thing ever**

**3. Bonnie/Jeremy. Cute but doesn't fill the void completely for Anna. **

**4. When Damon told Elena he loved her(why doesn't she question more about the necklace? It didn't just magically end back up on your neck)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Vampire Diaries, the characters are borrowed for me to live out my personal fantasy of what really happened because the writers of the show don't make me happy.  
**

* * *

I enter the place that my mind knows so well. The leaves on the trees are rich with autumn color. The sun shines down, the rays warming my skin. Being here during the day is a change. I close my eyes letting every aspect of the dream overwhelm my senses. All of it feels so real. The warmth that was washing over my skin begins to slowly fade. I open my eyes to watch the gold and glimmer from the trees fade away. Where the suns rays should be streaming is a cluster of dark colored clouds. I already know that he isn't here. My dreams are never this way when he is here. I almost want to sigh, I should have known better.

"You aren't scared?" Her voice rings out through the dense woods, the leaves already gone showing the bare branches.

"No." I say quietly. Crossing my arms over myself, the cold weather biting at my skin.

"That is just a shame." Katherine finally shows herself, walking through the almost black forest into the clearing. A small black dress clings to her small frame, her hair is curled to perfection. Katherine runs her finger tips across the bark of the tree.

"What do you want?" I ask her, not even bothering to show her anger.

"You sound bored." She says as she leans against one of the trees, a glistening smile across her face. I can see the sinister look in her eyes though.

"Honestly because I am, you tire me." I say uncrossing my arms sitting down in the cool grass. Katherine's facial expression changes as her smile immediately falls from her face. Katherine walks over to me and I look up at her.

"I don't scare you?" I can tell that I've caught her off guard, something that I thought would never happen.

"No you don't, just the thought of you hurting the people I care about does. You already know that though."

"Well I know what I can do about that."

I don't want to play her games. "Can I go now? Or you? I was trying to sleep." I can tell that this is irritating her even more.

"He will never love you the way that he loved me. He worshiped me for 145 years, just remember that." Katherine says as she leans down towards me.

"You should also remember how you fucked that one over. I don't think that Damon will be running into your arms any time soon. If you don't mind I think I am going to try to wake myself up." I really don't curse that often but I just want this all to be over with.

My mind goes completely blank. I sit up in the bed quickly looking around at my surroundings. I'm in Damon's bed, he must have moved me up here. The heavy curtains to his window are pushed back revealing the dusk setting over the threes. The sky is lit up with hues of pink and orange. With the sun setting I can see the moon rising over the colors. Sometimes I forget how beautiful it is just to look at the sky. The full shape of the moon visibly showing, one side pure white while the other is slightly colored from the sun still setting.

That's when it hits me. I jump out of the bed rushing down the stairs to see Anna, Jeremy and Damon in the living room talking. There is a panic radiating from my body, I can tell that everyone feels it because the whole rooms goes tense at my arrival.

"What is it Elena?" Damon asks, immediately at my side. I look up at him, his eyes searching mine.

"Tonight is a full moon." The words come out of my mouth more rushed that I intended them to be. Damon's hands run down the sides of my arms, my body relaxing to his touch.

"I know, we wont be able to go out at all tonight, its better that we all stay in here. I can not risk you getting bit." His hands are still running across my bare skin. Each inch of me feeling like a scorching pain where his hand had just been, but in the most amazing way. I let out a deep exhale, my body fully relaxed. It still amazed me how much more I actually feel from him in this life, I was afraid that it would be lost.

Katherine's words from earlier come back to me. "What about Jenna? Bonnie? You remember what Katherine said." The panic comes back to me, I have an overwhelming feeling wash over me to protect everyone.

"Alaric is with Jenna and I already talked to Bonnie today much to her dislike, she wont be going out tonight so she's safe." I can tell how hard he is trying to calm me down. I know that before he wouldn't have cared for any of my friends and now here he is trying to protect everyone for me. I feel a tightening in my chest as I feel myself being pulled towards him. I lose myself in his eyes, the crystal blue of them entrancing.

"Oh god do I have to watch this?" Jeremy's voice cuts through and I can't help but keep smiling. I look over at him, his features exactly the same. His light brown hair falling around his face. His chocolate brown eyes still full of life. A part of me wishes that this had never happened to him but I have to keep reminding myself that he chose this.

"Sorry Jer." I say as my fingers slowly find Damon's, lacing them together perfectly. This might actually work. They might all actually be safe tonight. I remind myself that I need to go see Jenna. Its been a few days and surprisingly she has been really good about this whole thing. At first she was completely freaked out. I don't blame her, until she realized that we're the same people. She never says what we are, we never bring it up. I'm just happy that she is still in my life.

Until I remember the one person that doesn't really know anything about this. The one person I some how managed to push to the back of my mind. If I know her than she probably isn't at home and she is probably ignoring her mom's frantic pleas for her to come home. My eyes grow wide at the thought.

"You are not going anywhere." Damon's voice is stern, the edge that I have heard many times before is back. A hundred different thoughts flash through my mind quickly, each one a different way to get out of the house to save her. "No." His voice is a little louder this time, each one of my thoughts being passed to him.

"I don't want to risk Caroline." The anxiety and fear in my rises as I realize that's her target tonight. "She did this knowing that we would be too afraid to go out!" I practically scream as I back away from Damon, motioning to the finally dark sky outside.

"That is exactly why she picked tonight." I'm ready to launch into an argument with him. Give him reasons why we should go out there to find Caroline. I know that its useless though. Damon will make me stay here. Even though I know its to protect me, even though I want him just to be as safe, I want everyone to be safe. I'm ready to throw more ideas at him when I hear Anna's small voice.

"Where's Stefan?"

* * *

Caroline Forbes was at the Grill, surrounded by a group of friends. Her blonde hair in loose curls falling neatly above her shoulders. The Grill was louder than usual, mostly because she was there being the center of attention. Caroline's eyes scanned the room looking for more people she knew. Her eyes rested on a round table in the center of the room. She recognized the man instantly, the shinning straight brown hair of the girl facing away from here gave her away.

"Stefan, Elena! You guys should come up here!" Caroline shouted above the other voices that were filling up the restaurant. Stefan stood up walking over to Katherine, holding his hand out to her as she rose out of her chair. They walked up the few steps to the higher portion of the restaurant, reaching Caroline who had pushed her way through the group she was with. "I didn't know that you two were coming out tonight." Caroline said with enthusiasm.

"Yeah its 'date' night tonight." Katherine said with a small smile, trying her hardest to have all of Elena's mannerisms. She lightly pushed some of her stray hairs behind her ear, something that she had watched Elena do countless times over. "Actually after this we are suppose to meet up with Bonnie at the movie theater, you should totally come."

"Weird she told me that she couldn't come out tonight." Caroline said, her smile faltering at the mention of her friend lying to her.

Katherine quickly tried to recover. "Yeah I know she told me the same thing earlier but she called me up about an hour ago saying that her parent's changed their mind."

Caroline's smile quickly came back. "Great let me grab my stuff." Caroline walked away from them back to the table that she had been at. Katherine looked over at Stefan, her eyes gleaming in the dim lighting. The smirk that she had given him many times before came back to her face.

"I told you, this is going to work perfectly." Katherine let her hand drop from Stefan's as she followed Caroline over to her table. "Ready to go?" Katherine asked, the pitch in her voice changing as she took on the role of Elena.

"Yeah. So what movie are we seeing?"


	46. Chapter 45

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Vampire Diaries. If I did the plot line would be a lot better. Mostly likely Damon would have met Elena first and I wouldn't be doing this right now. Also the show would have 1000x more viewers and I would force Nina and Ian to date in real life(I would find a way).**

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I sat patiently in the living room, well as much as I could. If anyone out have walked into the room they would have thought that I was a statue just staring out the window into the night sky, my eyes vacant, lost in thoughts of how I could save my friend. I could hear the crinkle of the dead autumn leaves blowing in the wind outside. I let out an exhale, something I merely did to get Damon's attention.

"You can be thinking it all you want, I told you that I am not letting you go out there." Damon's voice cut through the air, I turned slightly to look at him. His gaze didn't even lift from the book he was reading. I knew that the book was about werewolves because every now and then a thought of his would slip by my mind in a whisper. "Besides I thought that you weren't even that good of friends with Caroline." The binding of the book made a creasing noise as he turned the page.

"Regardless of how our relationship was Caroline is still a person, she's still someone that I care about." I turned away from him, my eyes scanning the dense forest by the window searching for a sign of any life out there. The silence fills the air again until I faintly hear Damon's voice.

_It amazes me how much you haven't changed. _His tone is soft and I can tell that he truly means it. The sweet harmonizing tone to his voice makes me want to confess everything. I want to tell him that I try my hardest to stay the same just because I don't want to be like _her._ The reason why he loves me is because I'm everything she isn't. That everyday is a constant struggle not to let any of my emotions snap. That at times I really contemplate just telling Stefan to shut up and maybe even straggling him for still trying to be such a saint because this isn't how this life works. I know that that part will just make him too happy though. Instead I smile lightly at him and then let it fall quickly as I avert my attention back to the dark woods outside.

I can feel the pang and ache coming from him in the instant I do that. I feel somewhat guilty. Even more so guilty for what I am about to say. "The Damon I know wouldn't make decisions for me. He would have followed me out there regardless of the situation. He wouldn't keep me holed up in here like Stefan would." I can feel the spark of anger ignite inside of him, I wince as soon as it floods over me.

"A werewolf bite can kill you." His voice his stern, I can hear the grinding of his teeth as the words come out. I turn to him, my eyes saddened, hoping that this will work.

"You still would have followed me." My voice is quiet, the heartache in my voice noticeable. The more I think about it the more it really does sadden me. He would have followed me anywhere, something that I knew what I was human but barely acknowledged it out of fear. Fear that I was going to be the girl that brothers once loved so many years ago. I didn't want to be playing with them, going back and forth so I had always pushed all the good aspects of Damon aside. Something that I now regret.

"If I tell you something tonight, you need to listen Elena. If I tell you to run then I need you to run as far and fast as you can." His voice isn't as harsh as it was a moment ago. A small part of me wants to smile in victory but I know now isn't the moment. I know what we are about to do can be really dangerous. I clear my mind as much as I can, pushing only thoughts of me running, like Damon said, to the front of my mind.

"Then I'll run." With my words Damon stands up, shutting the book on the table. The heavy cover making a smacking noise against the old pages. I wont run though, I wont leave him behind. I just need to make him believe that I will.

* * *

Caroline sat in a chair, her hands tied down with black cloth fabric. The bandages were tight enough that she could barely move her fingers. The same fabric covered her mouth, tied tightly behind her golden hair that was now matted to her face from the sweat. Tears were streaming down here face, her eyes bloodshot. The water still brimming her eyes made the color of her eyes look like an aqua. Katherine stared into them, mesmerized by the color.

"You're so much prettier like this." Katherine said slowly stroking one of Caroline's cheeks, the tears hitting the back of her hand. "Now I see why Damon had played with you. The fear brings out a beautiful color in your eyes." Katherine ran her hand down from Caroline's face to her neck. Her hand lingered there tracing lines over the veins that were pumping furiously behind her soft flesh. Katherine sat down on her lap, her legs straddling Caroline's. Caroline's cheeks burned a bright red as her blood began to pump faster, her chest heaving up and down from panicked breaths. "Oh, you know exactly what I like." Katherine purred out as she grinded her hips hard into Caroline. Katherine smiled down at Caroline, her eyes coated with malicious intent.

Katherine moved her hand down Caroline's neck to the top of her shirt, letting her fingers linger there as she looked into Caroline's eyes for her reaction. Katherine smirked as her hand easily tore the cloth off of her exposing her thin lace black lingerie. "Oh were you expecting to have some company tonight?" Katherine asks as she took in small article of clothing. "No matter, I'm sure I am probably going to enjoy this a lot more than any boy was going to." Katherine let her fingers fall down even further, feeling the soft skin of Caroline's chest touch the tips of her fingers.

Caroline's chest was moving more rapidly now. The fear rising even more, something that she hadn't thought was possible. Katherine relished in it, breathing it in, a drug intoxicating her system. Katherine tightened her legs even more around Caroline. "Oh I didn't think that this was going to be _this _good." Katherine ran her free hand through Caroline's soft hair while her other hand explored Caroline's body. "I'm going to take this off of you." Katherine said as she played with the knot of the black fabric securing Caroline's mouth, "but only because I want to hear you scream." The black fabric fell to the floor in one swift motion.

"Why are you doing this?" Caroline asked, her words broken.

"Because Elena doesn't like to listen and I don't want her going on thinking that she gets to have a happy ending." There was a sickly sweet tone to Katherine's voice which made Caroline tremble beneath her. Katherine let out a small moan as she felt the despair rolling off Caroline. Her hands move further down Caroline's body, playing at the waistline of her tight fitting jeans. Katherine bit her bottom lip as she moved Caroline's hair to the side, exposing her neck even more. Katherine could see the blue veins pulsating beneath her pale skin. "Scream for me." Katherine commanded as her eyes began to change, the dark red veins showing around her eyes, her fangs extending. In one quick motion Katherine broke the skin on Caroline's neck, the crimson liquid pouring out. Caroline let out a scream, urging Katherine even more. The blood washed over Caroline, cascading down her chest and further her bare skin. Katherine broke away only to trace the trails off blood with her tongue.

Each time Katherine started at the bottom at Caroline's hips, running her tongue slowly up to her neck until there was nothing left. Caroline gasped with each feel of Katherine running across her body. "Louder this time." Katherine commanded as she ripped a new wound into Caroline. The scream was louder as Katherine moaned into Caroline's neck. This time Katherine didn't stop, she drank the sweet liquid until Caroline stopped screaming. Katherine pulled back, all of the blood drained. She ran her hand across Caroline again, this time in boredom. "I should have made it last longer." Katherine said out loud to herself. She then shrugged standing up and walking to the heavy door of the basement.

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Stefan stood outside of the basement to the warehouse, listening to the movements of Katherine inside. Her heard Katherine playing with Caroline and for a moment a sick bile begin to rise in Stefan, he quickly pushed it aside though reminded himself why he was in this seedy part of town.

Then the screams came, piercing the night air. Stefan cringed for a moment, remembering how the voice was coming from someone who he once considered a friend. He had to be stronger than this though. The words that Katherine had told him replayed in his head, he used her voice to down out the screams. _I told you Stefan that this is for us, I came back here for you. _Her words were ones that he wasn't expecting but ones that he chose to believe in. Stefan had nothing left with Elena gone, she wasn't the same person. Truth be told, Stefan had still loved Katherine all of those years. He just always had buried the truth deep inside not wanting to love a monster. He had tried so hard to change but now he knew he had nothing to lose.

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"We should check her house first." Damon said as we rode in his car down the town streets, finally away from the boarding house.

"Thank you." I said, my eyes looking at him, a small smile playing on my features. Damon smiled lightly back at me.

"You were right though with what you said and I'm sorry but you do know that I was just trying to protect you." His voice was filled with caution and remorse. The guilt washed over me.

"You'll always protect me." The smile fell from my face, I want him to know how serious I am being. I know that he will always find a way to protect me. I feel like a terrible person for how I got him out here. The car fell silent, both of us not needing to say anymore.

The car pulled up to Caroline's house, the engine falling silent. "I'll be right back." Damon said getting out of the car, I nodded knowing that he was going to check her room. A few seconds later Damon was back at the car starting it up again.

"Of course she wouldn't be there." Damon said a little irritated. The car roared to life again.

"The Grill, its probably the only other place she would be."

We were there in a matter of minutes. This time I got out of the car with Damon, both of us walking into the Grill together. The noises from inside hit my ears instantly, I stopped for a second letting each one fade to the back of my mind almost like a buzzing. The place was packed, there was a group of kids from the high school not too far from the door. I tried picking out their separate conversations.

"…has anyone seen Caroline?" Just what I was listening for.

"I saw her leave with Elena earlier."

"And that kid that's always with her that never comes to school anymore." I heard another voice pipe up.

"There's Elena right now though….and she's with the other brother."

"We should go." Damon's voice rang out over everyone else's. I looked up at him and nodded as we walked out of the restaurant. The night air was silent as soon as we made it out. "Now I just need to think of all the twisted places that Katherine might possibly take her." Damon stated as he looked around the surrounding area, his mind racing. The night air blew past us, the wind picking up bringing a small chill with it.

That's when both of us smelled the scent in the air. The blood laced with the cold and the fallen leaves from the coming winter. I ran past Damon following the scent, his feet quickly trialing mine. Within moments we were in another part of town. The blood was now stronger this time laced with the smell of metal. We were in a small industrial part.

_Figures._ I could here Damon's thought slip out, I could see him roll his eyes at the same time. I looked over at him in almost disbelief at how he was so nonchalant about this. He quickly composed himself, not letting his irritation for Katherine show. We walked the small steps to the door where the blood was coming from the strongest. I know that he wanted to take caution in the small chance that Katherine was still around. Even though we were both sure the chance was really small that she stuck around. Damon walked ahead of me, opening the door to the warehouse. Inside just seemed to be machines, until we could smell the blood even more now coming from a door tucked away in the corner.

I rushed to it pulling it open, not letting Damon have time to run in front of me. I used my vampire speed to make it down the narrow stairs. I saw her before I noticed anything else. Her pale skin even lighter, all of the color drained from it as it laid against the dark stone floor. The tips of her blonde hair drenched in blood that was sticking together. I let out a small gasp as I ran to her, kneeling down beside her. Damon had just made it into the room. I could feel his sympathy for me as my eyes were brimmed with tears.

"If I could have just left a little bit sooner.." My words trailed off as I saw Caroline's shirt ripped in half. I quickly took off my jacket to cover her up out of respect.

"It wouldn't have made a difference, Katherine would have still found a way and you need to understand that." Damon was at my side now, kneeling down beside me.

"The blood is still fresh, its strange though I would have thought that her body would still be warm but its ice cold." My voice trembled and broke as I looked at what used to be my friend.

"That fucking bitch." The venom in Damon's voice caused me to look up at him. He was on his feet staring down at Caroline. "She's not dead." I kept staring at him, my mind not fathoming what he was saying. "She turned her."


	47. Chapter 46

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Vampire Diaries. If I did Damon would run around shirtless a lot like Jacob in twilight, but I wouldn't feel guilty about it because at least he's not 17.**

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Her body is still cold, my fingers want to pull away for warmth but I can't seem to get my body to move. For the fourth time this week I forgot to breathe. I take in a deep breath inhaling the fragrance of remorse and the damp air around us laced with the smell of decay from the rotting wood. Now just the sound of the noise of the water dripping from the broken pipe in the corner fills the air, no longer any hearts beating with the three bodies in here. Nothing can escape her withering touch. How could I have let this happen to her?

"Please Elena don't feel guilty over this." Damon's words cut through my thoughts, I pause looking up at him as I am still holding my friend who is laying on the cold ground.

"How can I not? I let her die…in this foul place." My words come out harsh but not against him, its my anger towards Katherine that is causing it.

"I don't know how many times I will have to be repeat this to you but I will, its not your fault. Right now though we really should be getting her out of here." Damon leans down closer to me grabbing Caroline by her waist. I keep my hand wrapped into hers in a small hope that maybe she will feel safe. I can't seem to take my eyes off of her, I can slowly see the changes happening. Her skin is becoming paler, something that I wasn't sure was possible with Caroline. I hear her body changing, the noise is excrutiating. The sound of her bones hardening with each crack. I can even hear the tears in her veins as the blood is trying to pump through them again. I cringe in disgust and pain all while trying not to lose my grip on her hand. My mind flashes back to the night that I was turned, something I had been repressing. The excrutiating pain, it makes your body feel like it is burning with embers from the inside out all the while like someone is breaking every piece of you one by one.

Damon stands up as I stand with him. We slowly walk up the stone steps to the main part of the building. We make it inside into the cold night air, the crispness of it biting at my cheeks. I don't let it bother me though as we keep walking to the car. Damon opens up the back door getting ready to place Caroline in the back.

"Let me sit with her?" I ask, my eyes pleading with him. I can see the pain in his eyes. I know that its all for me. He nods his head lightly as I get into the back seat. Damon lays Caroline down so her head is resting on my lap. A moment later the engine roars to life, I don't bother to pay attention to the scenery as I keep my eyes focused on the girl in front of me. I run my hands through her matted hair, most of the blood in her tips already dried. I feel a tear fall down my cheek and onto Caroline's lifeless face. I wipe it away quickly.

"It shouldn't have been that way." My voice was barely a whisper, nothing human ears would have been able to pick up. The tears are coming full force now and I have to move my gaze ahead of me so I can stop crying the corpse on my lap. Damon doesn't say anything which just makes a part of me feel terrible for him having to see me this way.

"Don't think that." His voice is quiet, I look up in the review mirror to see his blue eyes looking back at me.

"You shouldn't have to go through this with me. You shouldn't have to be feeling this way." His eyes become more fierce as I say the words to him.

"I go through this by choice, just remember that. I go through this because you are nothing like her." His words hit me hard, causing more tears to come out.

"That's not true, I manipulated you into coming out here tonight and I said those horrible things." My voice is trembling as the car falls silent for a moment.

"I know what you did Elena. Its not really manipulation when I can see right through you." His voice almost sounds playful which causes my bewilderment.

"But how? I tried my hardest not to think about it so you wouldn't hear." I hear a small laugh come from him which causes me to glare at him through the mirror.

"Because you just aren't capable of manipulation. Besides what you were doing tonight wasn't for self gain, it was for someone else. It only proves more of the differences." For a moment I get so mad that I almost forget that Caroline is still laying across my lap. I cross my arms over my chest in a child like manor.

"You better be lucky we aren't alone right now otherwise I would hit you." I move my eyes to look out the window, the tears finally not falling. I can still feel my eyes brimmed with water. My mind flashes back to all of the times when I was human and Damon would be his arrogant self, something that I was accustomed to. How we use to bicker back and forth, I never really noticed how playful it was. How it always ended with something be thrown at him or me being hit. Its something that I have missed in this darker days. A small smile plays on my lips as I think of all of the memories, these ones much more clearer in my new life. I look up again at Damon to see a smirk across his chiseled features. It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes at him. The car comes to a stop, I didn't even realize we were back at the boarding house.

I wait for Damon to come around to the back seat to get Caroline out before I get out of the car. When he finally has her in his arms I get out shutting the door lightly behind me. We walk up to the front door, the sound of the gravel crunching beneath our feet. I open the heavy wooden door for him. Damon swiftly takes Caroline to the couch laying her down. I pull up an ottoman next to the couch, sitting on it to be near her.

"I'll go get a warm towel for you to clean her up with." Damon says as he watches my eyes scan over her. I just nod as I wrap my fingers into hers again.

"What happened?" I hear Jeremy's voice just as he is coming down into the parlor, Anna right in tow behind him.

"Katherine happened." Anna says the words for me, I look up at the both of them with my eyes reassuring her words.

A piercing scream breaks through the air. I let my hand drop from Caroline's as I push the ottoman back a little to see Caroline looking at me with frightened eyes, screams still resonating from her mouth. I try to grab her hand again to calm her down but she pulls away quickly.

"Caroline its me." I say as calmly as I can but I can tell that she isn't listening. She pulls her legs up to herself as the jacket I had put on her begins to slip a little showing the already healing wounds from the scratches that were running across her chest. Within seconds Damon is in the room in front of Caroline, his hands on her shoulders.

"Caroline, its Elena…" His words are cut off as Caroline pushes him away with full force. Damon stumbles back, his eyes wide.

"I remember, I remember everything you did to me. Everything she did…but I remember you…what you are. You used me." The fear seems pushed aside as anger seems to have taken dominance. I try to move closer to her, her eyes focused on Damon.

"Caroline I know this is a lot to take in but I really want to help you." I'm able to take a seat on the couch next to her, she doesn't push me away like I thought she would. Instead her eyes look at me for a recognition, something to give me away.

"When we were 11, what promise did we make?" I can tell that she is serious. I can't really blame her.

"I promised that no matter what I would be there for you, Bonnie was there too. It was a rainy day and you had just found out about your parents. We were in your house and I remember you crying. I remember how much Bonnie and I tried to help you through their divorce. I also remember I gave you my favorite necklace to try to cheer you up." I give her as many details as I can hoping that it will spark something in her.

I feel her arms fly around me, her body pushing against mine. The soft sobs coming from her muffled against my hair. I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly. "I know that this is really hard Caroline and we can talk about it later if you want to, but just know that I'm here for you. We're here for you." I try to put emphasis on the we're aspect, hoping that she knows that Damon will help her too. "Lets go upstairs." I say to her and I feel her lightly nod against me. I pull away from her, her eyes red from her tears. My heart wants to break knowing this life that is in store for her.

_At least she's not dead. _I shoot Damon a glare as soon as I hear it. He shrugs as Caroline heads towards the staircase. _Let me know if you need anything. _His voice is more serious this time and I know that he is saying it more as to care of me than her. I smile lightly at him, a welcoming thought from all of this darkness.

I walk with Caroline up the stairs and point her in the direction of one of the spare rooms. "You should get cleaned up, there should be clean towels already hanging up in there."

"Why did she do it?" Caroline blurts out the words, her back to me. I fumble in my head for an answer.

"I don't know." My voice is quiet, wishing that I could give her something better than that. Caroline keeps walking to the bathroom, right at the entrance she turns around to look at me.

"Did you know?"

"Know what?" I ask her, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"That Stefan was with her." If my heart was still beating it would have stopped. The world seemed to stop for a moment. "He was there…watching the door. That's why I thought it was you, Stefan was with her." Before she gives me the chance to say anything she walks into the bathroom shutting the door behind her. My mind was spinning, a hundred thoughts a second. Of course we had our suspicions for Stefan to be with Katherine, but this? To turn Caroline? I didn't think that he would do something like this.

I run down the stairs in what would have been a blur to anyone else's eyes. The three of them are in the parlor, I stop with all of their eyes on me. "Don't any of you dare let him in here! I swear to God if I see him!" I don't even finish my threat as I go to throw my fist into a wall. Damon's hand is there to stop me though.

"Who? I'm asking before you break all the décor." Damon asks his hand still tightly around my balled fist.

"Stefan! He was there! He helped her do this!" My eyes are blind with fury, I want nothing more than to hunt him. To find him and make him regret every moment of what he did tonight.

"I wont let him in here. I wont let him near you." I hear the emphasis on the last part. I know that he wont. "I can't have you running around in a bloodlust though." I can still feel as if my blood is boiling I let my fist drop to my side, Damon's hand finally letting go of me.

* * *

"Why did you turn her?" Stefan screamed at Katherine who was casually sitting in an oversized armchair playing with her curled hair. Stefan was pacing back and forth as Katherine watched amused by his stress.

"I didn't intend to originally but things got a little hot and heavy in there and changes were made." Katherine said with a smile on her face remembering all of it.

"Yeah I heard!" Stefan screamed again making the smile on Katherine's face fall.

"Things change. That's how life works, even this life. You always have to be prepared. You always need to be able to think on your feet and handle what ever is thrown at you. Why do you think I've been alive for so long? Its definitely not from doing what you are right now." Katherine was now in front of him, her dark brown eyes looking into his.

"I know its just now they will know I was there." Stefan says to her, his voice quiet as his eyes searched everywhere in the room but Katherine's eyes.

"Were you not ready to give her up yet? I told you that life was over. Elena left you a long time ago, probably before any of you even realized it. Regardless of their bullshit little love connection she would have ended up with him eventually." Katherine sat back down on the chair, obviously not amused.

"I thought that it was a myth, I had hear about it so long ago." Stefan said, his voice almost lost.

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**AN: Sorry there haven't been any lemons lately. I've been trying to build more of an actual story. I'll try to squeeze some in soon. Thanks for all the support. **

"Because there hadn't been a recording in hundreds of years, yeah I know. You'll eventually learn a lot of things that we hear aren't myths."


	48. Chapter 47

AN: I know I'm a terrible person, I know I'm a complete asshole. I didn't forget about this story, yes I was busy but at times probably lazy even. Think about it this way, you know when you read a really good book but you have to wait like a year for the sequel? Its kind of like that, or I'm going to pretend its like that but not with the best cliffhanger. Don't judge me lol. I can't apologize enough, I can only give my thanks to those of you who are amazing enough to even read the dribble that comes out of my brain. Please forgive me if this chapter doesn't come out that well. I have been out of the flow of writing for months so I'm out of the swing of things but I'm sure as hell going to try. Thank you again, it really does mean a lot to me. I also don't remember a lot of the plot so I know I'm going to have to go back and re-read a lot of this story because its so different from the show but it kills me cause SOME of the ideas in season 2 were good(others were just terrible).

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I could still feel the anger pounding in my chest, coursing through every vein in my body. A deep hatred rising out of me. I try to remember my surroundings, where I even am but the emotions I am feeling are so overwhelming my eyes are beginning to blur. I open my eyes just a little bit wider, thinking that this will bring everything into focus. The fireplace lit with a slow burning fire, the two chairs that are positioned by it. The long elegant red couch that has Caroline still laying on it.

Caroline.

The fury rises in me again, my bottom lip trembling, my fingers shaking. I know I am trying to control it, but why should I? My vision blurs again and I know that my eyes have changed. That I have let my vampire side out. I know that the veins beneath my eyes are visible, dark red beneath my skin. That my chocolate brown eyes aren't visible beneath the black showing nothing but the hunger. The hunger to hunt them both down. I don't bother to try to hide this, my nature is exposed and I don't care who knows.

Faintly I can hear a familiar voice as my head runs through the different possibilities of what I can do to the both of them.

Why am I still standing here? I don't recognize where I am. I can only hear the same voice trying to cut through. It sounds so muffled. Like someone is holding a hand over their mouth while trying to speak. I look around my surroundings once again but everything seems off. Every sound seems even more magnified, I hear nothing but the faint breathing of the once human girl laying on the couch with her eyes closed tight, probably trying to shut out the nightmares that I know come after the change. No not after the change, after seeing Katherine. Of dying at her hands, being changed by her.

I knew the change was inevitable for me but I never wanted it to happen the way it did. I feel like I was robbed of how I should have been turned. Or maybe I shouldn't have been holding on to some deluded romantic fantasy of it being just Damon. No that's not right, why did I think that? Of course that's exactly how it should have been. Caroline though, she should have never hand to endure this. Never should have had to cross Katherine's path. She took my friends life away and took away something that I wanted, something that I thought I was never going to accept.

I can still hear the muffled noise, I pause my thoughts trying to figure out where the noise is coming from.

_Elena._

There is it, his voice in all of its clarity. The smooth sound of it. I can feel a small smile playing at my lips, just from the sound of my name coming from him. It doesn't change me back though, it isn't enough to completely stop the thoughts swirling around in my head.

_Elena, I need you to listen to me right now. I know what you're going through. _

I know that he does. Better than anyone, I am sure of it. He knows what I have just done, he knew way before I did what I was going.

The switch.

I know that I have switched off any kind of conscience that I should have. I have let it go to welcome the thoughts of tearing Katherine apart. Not just killing her but really making her suffer. Something that I know I would have never thought of otherwise. I have always known that she deserves to die but never before have I been thinking about it in these ways.

I've heard Damon talk about it countless times, how it was so easy for him. How he lived the way he did for so long. Even Stefan had talked about it. I didn't think that it would be this easy though.

_I'm listening_. I reply back to him. I finally remember where I am. I look around to see him merely a few feet away from me, his eyes, like pools of water looking at me, bearing deep inside of me.

_You switched it off, I know what you want to do right now but it just isn't the time. _His voice is soothing, more so than I ever remember it.

_If you know that I switched everything off then you should know that I really don't care. _I know my reply really isn't the best, and that it also has a lot of attitude behind the words.

_You do though, regardless of what you're thinking know or what you're saying to me, you do care. That's the whole reason why you switched in the first place, because you care too much Elena. You saw Caroline and what they did to her, I know you want to protect her. _I can't help but listening to Damon. Its strange though to think that he would be the one talking me out of going on a rampage against killing Katherine and most likely killing Stefan in the process too. I know its because he doesn't want me to be this way, not completely anyways.

_Its not just Caroline, she did this to me too. She took away everything I wanted and she did this to me. Every single day I remember how I was turned, the look in her eyes with the satisfaction of all of it so easy to read across her face. _I dig my nails into the palm of my hand as images from that day come flooding back to me. I can feel the crescents being imbedded into my skin. I close my eyes trying to shake myself of the images of that day. I open them back up to see the hurt that is so obvious in his eyes. The second I see it I can feel my whole chest ache as I let my fingers go limp at my side.

He didn't want this either, I know that. Not the way that it happened. It must have been so painful to see me die that way. I think about this for a moment, what it would be like if our roles were reversed. I can only imagine the hatred that would be screaming and clawing its way out of me. Yet here is he standing in front of me with the pain of it swimming in his eyes. How can he be strong for the both of us when I am the one losing control?

_Because I know its what I have to do right now._ I can't help but have a small smile at his words. Of course he could hear what I was thinking, I wasn't even trying to hide it that time. I can't help but be mesmerized by how he is at times. So different than how I ever thought he could be.

I see the same small smile playing at his own lips and I can already feel myself coming back. Some of the anger dissipating from me, almost as if it's a steam rising out of my body and being released. That's when I hear it, just the faintest of noises. A crunch of a dried up leaf outside of the house. Something so small and in an instant am I pulled out of my thoughts and out of what I was sharing with Damon.

I am running before all of my thoughts even catch up to me. I know that someone is outside, someone isn't being careful. I don't even for the smallest second think that it could have been an animal. Animals know now to come near this house, the scent of it keeps them away.

Who ever it is knows that they have been heard because there is the noise of crunching leaves and twigs coming form the forest. The sound of feet pounding fast against the hard soil of the fall. I can tell by the speed of the steps that it isn't a human.

I'm running faster now than I ever thought I could. The leaves on the ground swirl up around me as I keep running, dark swirls of browns and oranges in the shadowed night sky falling back against the earth slowly as I run fast than they can fall. I push myself hard knowing that Damon is somewhere behind me, for now I can out run him. All of my vampire instincts have taken over, its driving me straight towards the scent that is flowing through these dead woods.

My body collides with another, sending the other vampire hard into the ground. I use as much force as I can to push him down. I flip backwards landing onto my feet as the other vampire is still gaining himself with his face pressed to the ground.

I already know who it is though, his dark hair and physique are the only indicator I need. I should have recognized his smell but I this life it isn't familiar to me. Its one I really don't care to know either. All the animosity I had been feeling just rises back inside of me, fighting its way for dominance of me.

Before I even realize it I am at his side lifting him off of the ground by the back of his shirt. With as much force as I can, using all my excursion I throw him into one of the larger trees in the area. I hear his back hit the trunk, the wood splintering from impact. I hear him moan from the pain but I know that he will heal form it regardless. His voice is like nails cutting into my ears.

Within less than a second I am next to him again picking up his already sore body. I throw him again, this time with too much ease. I send him into a much smaller tree this time. The tree never stood a chance. The tree breaks lower to the base, cracking backwards as I have sent his body flying onto it. The snap of the wood is loud and quick. I hear his body go rolling into the base of another tree. I am on my way to go over to him again when I feel strong arms wrap around my upper body pinning my arms at my sides.

I try to struggle free but whoever is holding me has a strong grip. I push myself against the arms again but they just get tighter. I keep pushing and twisting myself inside these arms trying to break myself free. Something about them feel very familiar, the indentations of the muscles, I seem to know every place of them.

Damon's arms are wrapped around me, pinning me so I can't go after Stefan again. Before I even realize I'm screaming as loud as I can at him.

"How could you? How could you do this to her? I can't believe you! I can't believe I ever once thought that you were good! That you even had any semblance of a fucking soul inside of you! How dare you even for one second think that it was ok to come over here!" I'm still struggling in Damon's arms as I am screaming at Stefan. I want to just keep throwing myself at him.

Stefan is sitting up right now, on his knees facing Damon and I. There are remnants of dead leaves stuck onto his dark clothing. His shirt is ripped at the collar and in many other places from the tree branches. His eyes are dark but I can tell that that have traces of fear and sadness in them.

"How dare you even be allowed to feel sorry for this. You don't even deserve to feel any remorse, I don't want you to!" I feel like some of my screaming in meaningless, that I am screaming just for the dramatics of it. Something that is more human than anything but I can't seem to stop myself from doing it.

"I'm sorry Elena…I didn't know that she was going to…" Stefan is talking to me but the sound of his voice just brings out more of the resentment that is buried so deep inside of me.

"Don't! Don't even think that its ok for you to say my name, its nothing but poison coming from you." I can feel the traces of hot liquid flowing down my checks. I know now that I am crying but I can't seem to stop myself.

"I don't even know how I ever cared about you." The words are barely a whisper as they escape my lips but I know that he can hear them, I see the sharpness of my words slowly digging into him. I do want him to hurt though. I want him to hurt as badly as I have. I have stopped moving around wildly in Damon's arms. I can feel myself becoming more calm as the tears keep cascading.

"You should go." Damon says to Stefan, not once loosening his grip on me. His voice is even, but not as strong as it usually is.

"Thank you." Stefan says to him as he begins to stand from being on his knees.

"This isn't for you, this is for her. Just know that next time, I'm not going to hold her back." The fierceness that I always know to be in his voice is back and it brings a strange sense of calm to me knowing that he is the stronger one of the two of us. That at least right now one of us is strong.

Stefan nods at the both of us in understanding and in a split second he is running out of the woods. My eyes are fast enough to keep up with his running, I keep watching him until the darkness finally engulfs him.

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AN: Well its not as long as I wanted it but it also took me longer to type it up than I thought cause I was watching music videos and that shit was distracting. I saw lil'wayne's how to love video and I would like to say that i am really disturbed after watching it and at the same time really confused. I eventually had to turn the TV off cause lets face even Fuse doesn't really play good music anymore. Ok I'm done rambling. I'll see if I can get another chapter out sometime by tomorrow. Thank you!


	49. Chapter 48

AN: This one isn't that long, I really want to go read Mockingjay so I can finish the Hunger Games trilogy before I see my friend tomorrow so we can rant about it. Anyways I had to go through a lot of chapters this morning to even remember smaller parts of the plot and where I was even going with a lot of this. I'm still trying to get back into the flow of writing. I realized this story is full of drama but then again so is the show. I do not on VD.

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The looming darkness is weighing down on me, even with my enhanced vision the woods seem darker at this moment than they ever have before. The trees for some reason look more sinister, their branches twisting in ways I didn't think possible. Maybe these woods were always this way but I never noticed when I was a human. I stand there, looking out into the nothingness that these woods offer. It seems fitting though in a strange way.

I don't bother running back to the house. I walk at what most people would consider a normal pace for a human. Damon walks right next to me, his hand doesn't find mine though, my irritation is too strong at this moment. Its not just that though, I know a small part of him is aggravated at me running out into the woods like that. His worry for me is now outweighing any joy he may have gotten out of me tossing Stefan around. I purposely stop thinking just in attempts to listen to the silence, to listen for his voice. We continue walking, our footsteps completely silent against the earth, we leave no traces of any disturbance in the woods.

I know that I have reverted back, that the emotions are turned on. I didn't even feel anything as extreme as when it was turned off. I just felt the floodgate go crashing down, with all of my emotions flowing out of them in an unstable current. How long will I be this way? Will everything always be so overwhelming?

"It wont always be like that, you're still new and you're dealing with a lot more than most vampires do." Damon says, his eyes fixed straight ahead when I look back at him.

Of course he was listening for me when I was trying to listen for him. He is so much better at this than I am. So much better at hiding his emotions, hiding what he is thinking from me. I'm always the first to let my guard slip, for him to hear all of my deepest thoughts.

"Its not really fair though, that you are always listening to me but more than half of the time I can't even hear you. If I really think about it I can only hear you when you want me to." This sends a small spark of anger deep inside of me. Damon stops walking so I do the same, this time fully turning around so that I can look at him.

"There are just some things that you shouldn't hear. Trust me, my thoughts are a hell of a lot more sinister than anything you have been thinking the last few hours, its just not something that you should be exposed to right now." With the end of his words Damon starts walking again, this time he is ahead of me as I am still standing there in a stage of bewilderment and frustration.

I make sure to block off my thoughts. Its strange to do, but I know that it works. It works the best when I'm mad giving myself more fuel to block him out. It feels almost as if there is a barrier between us. A small blanket of weight settling down on me but at the same time my body is feeling a pull towards his knowing that the connection is not fully there. Now that the weight is successfully between us I let myself think.

I understand that he is trying to protect me, but I feel like he is trying to protect me from the wrong things. Is that the right way to put it? Its that or he is trying to block out other thoughts. Thoughts that I'm not even too sure I want to know. I know that if I dig them out, that most likely they'll hurt. Maybe that is what he is really trying to protect me from.

My chest begins to feel tight thinking about all of this. This is Damon after all. No matter how much he has changed or how much I think that he has changed, there is still too much of the old Damon left. Always trying so hard to cloak all of his emotions. I can't help but feeling beyond frustrated at this. I know that isn't the approach to take with him though. Even thought I want to run up to him and scream at him that this isn't the way it should be, that he should be able to share his thoughts with me, that I think he is hiding something he doesn't want me to know.

I hold it back though, which really is a feat all in itself. I don't know how long I will be able to hold it in though, I can feel it crawling around under my skin, the words begging to escape the prison they are being held in.

We make it back up to the house, the lights inside are still on casting a faint glow on the front lawn. The front door to the house is still hanging wide open, something I didn't think about as I went rushing out of it moments ago.

I make my way to the driveway where my feet glide over the gravel of it not many any sound. Something feels off though, the presence of the house is different. Damon is barely a foot away from me but I can tell that he feels something is wrong too. His body became immediately stiff before I even noticed the disturbance.

At the same time we both go running inside the house. My eyes start scanning over everything assessing for damage. There is the smell of blood lingering everywhere in the house. Not the same blood either but different types of blood coming from every direction. The smell isn't over powering, it would have been if it had been human blood. This smell is vampire blood. I can't seem to see any damage though, not physically to the house at least. Everything is in the exact same place, except for Caroline.

My eyes rest over her, her blonde hair hanging in front of her eyes. There are tears clearly visible running down her cheeks. Quiet sobs are coming from her parted lips, her shoulders shaking with each one. I run over to her quickly, my speed extinguishing the fire in the fireplace as I run past it. I wrap my arms around Caroline as I feel her body shake lightly in my grip. "Its ok Caroline." My eyes scan her body quickly but I can already tell that blood is not hers. That only leaves two other options.

"No its not ok!" I know that her words are true as she practically screams them. Its not ok because I already know whose blood it is that I am smelling. My arms fall from around her, slumping at my sides. I should have known, I should have thought before I went running out of that door so carelessly.

I know that Damon went upstairs, his mind registering everything before mine even could. A small moment latter he is back down the stairs, standing in the parlor. I see it in his eyes, he doesn't need to say it. The swirling mass of sadness behind those water blue eyes is enough for me to know.

"Jeremy and Anna are gone." His voice is soft, its not from the sadness of them being gone though. His voice only breaks because he knows how much this is breaking me.

"She took them, she only left me to tell you." Caroline has stopped sobbing for a moment just to tell me this. I know it was hard for her to see Katherine in here, to see her face after everything that she robbed Caroline of. Her eyes are still flowing with crystal tears though as I look into them.

I feel my legs give in as I sink to the ground, my whole body is giving up on me. "I should have known better, I wasn't even thinking. I just ran. I should have known that he was nothing more than a distraction." My voice is breaking on every other word, I can feel myself having difficulty even speaking. My throat feels tight, the words having trouble escaping.

"You couldn't have known Elena." Damon's voice is still soft, something about it digging its way inside of me.

"Don't say that to me, because you should know better than anyone. You don't need to try to make me feel better about this. The Damon I know wouldn't try to sugar coat this." I snap at him, I shouldn't but its there.

"You want the truth then? Yeah we were both really stupid for running out of that door. I had to come after you though, do you really think I would have let you run after Stefan by yourself. I knew the second that it was him that he was nothing more than a distraction. I know Katherine's games, she had me playing one for 145 fucking years. It was pointless to say anything to you though, you were in your own world hell bent on your vendetta against Stefan. Which trust me, it kills me that I can't be standing there cheering you on like I want to because we have way more important things to deal with!" His voice is harsh, one that I have heard numerous times though, something that I am used to. His composure is slipping. He runs a hand through his dark lochs, the frustration written all of his face. His nostrils are flared as I know he is holding more back.

That's what it is, what he has been hiding from me. I don't know how I could have been so blind not to see it. The way that he has been acting, its so different from his normal impulsive self. "You don't need to try to be him." The words are a mere whisper but I know that he can hear them. Damon stops pacing to look at me. I'm resting on my knees on the floor still looking up at him. I don't care to let this thought pass between us in silence, even thought I probably should because Caroline is in the room with us. "That's what this has been hasn't it? I know that you are trying to be strong for the both of us, but you don't need to try to be him. You don't need to be so calm that at times I am almost convinced that you have gone catatonic."

It takes him a moment to respond to me, I see the anger flashing behind his eyes. "Is that what you think I am doing?" His voice is rough, his fingers clenching at his sides.

"Don't try to deflect me, I know what you're doing." I keep my voice even. We stay like this for a moment, our eyes locked on one another's. "You think that just because I was with him, because of all the times that he stayed so composed that it is what you need to be doing. Its not thought. Look at him! He's out there running around with Katherine, doing anything she asks of him! He obviously snapped, is that what you want too? To hold it in till you snap?" I'm on my feet now, my finger pointing out of the window towards the darkness of the woods.

His eyes stay focused on me, narrowing at my words. "You seemed like you liked it." The only thing to come out of him. I can feel the fury pushing its way out of me.

"That was a long time ago Damon! I was a different person then! Are you really that naïve to think that I still needed that or even wanted that? If that is true then why when I was still a human did I fall for you?" My voice gets quieter as I ask this last question. My hands are at my sides now, my eyes searching his for something besides the hatred for some of the things I had said.

The silence falls between us. I can tell that Caroline is watching us quietly, I had almost forgotten she was in the room.

_You're right. _His voice cuts through to me. Its not an apology but I know its Damon's way of saying it.

"Can we try to get my brother back?" I ask with pleading eyes. Damon nods his head in a yes sort of manner.

"I'll go call the teacher."


End file.
